NOt to offer to sit in the back?

[hidinginthenightgarden]

We are going to a theme park today. 49 minute drive. Mil has been undecided on whether to come and this morning has announced she will squash between the two car seats in the back as she has never driven there before.
She will not fit. I am about 3 sizes smaller and would be very squashed and uncomfortable. I know I should offer to sit in the back but I really don't want to! There is not reason she cannot come in her own car other than she isn't a great driver. She is only 60 and in good health so not like I am crushing the bones of an old woman but still, I know it would be the kinder thing. Aibu not to sit in the back?
I will add that we do get on fine but She isn't my kind of person.

YABVU - Just sit in the back.

Why on earth is it just a choice between MIL or OP in the back? Are men constitutionally incapable of sitting in the back seat? Or possibly is it just taken for granted that DH must drive because he's a man?

I think you got a rough ride on this thread OP.

I understand where you are coming from. You are saying you would be REALLY uncomfortable.

And, your DH gets off scot free after inviting his mother and expecting you to do the working around it.

Hope the solution worked for you all

I'd be chuffed to nuts that my MIL wouldn't fit in the back as it would mean I could stay at home and not trail round a boiling hot theme park on the busiest day of the summer!**

This, yes I quite agree, I'd use it as an excuse not to go lol. (Actually I can't imagine either MIL or DM wanting to go to a theme park, a NT stately home definitely.)

This is the kind of thing that often results in me deciding not to go after all. Why can she just drive her car there?

I'd be pissed off with DH that he invited her but the consequence of that was that you had to sit in the back!

Glad you found a solution and hope the queues aren't too bad!

What a big fuss about nothing.

"This is the kind of thing that often results in me deciding not to go after all. Why can she just drive her car there?"

Because she's not a confident driver. Try telling a woman in Mumsnet who isn't a mil that she had to drive somewhere on a Bank Holiday when she had said she wasn't a confident driver and see what happens to you!

I'd sit in the back but I do understand why you don't want to. Why don't you drive and your DH can sit in the back?

Sorry, I didn't read the thread... all sorted Yay

There are all sorts of reasons for not being a confident driver. My MIL isn't confident, understandably as she lost her DH in a car accident. She won't drive far and never in the dark. Driving can be dangerous, people's fears shouldn't be scoffed at.

I would have sent them all off together and have a lovely day to myself.

Ask the children who they want to sit next to...

Mine would always say Grandma.

I'm totally with you OP and think many other pp aren't actually paying attention.

*Either MIL invited herself or the OH invited her without asking OP.
*She dithered about whether she's coming or not until the last minute.
*She says she wants to come now and says she will sit in the back, knowing full well that she cann't fit in the back and will expect OP to sit there instead, even though she can't comfortably or safely sit there either.

I'd be irritated too, OP.

Would the car seats even be safe with an adult squashed between them?

Did I miss where a reason was given as to why your dh can't sit in the back with mil and you drive?

Well, in our family it would be because I am 5'3, mil is 5'5 and dp is 6'4.

If the OP would be squashed ( and she's 3 times smaller than mil ) I'm taking a wild guess here that the H would be too big also to have sat in the middle!

49 mins is a weirdly precise time for a journey (slight diversion, but I mean why not 50?)
Anyway it's less than an hour, a totally manageable amount of time to be mildly uncomfortable.

Taking two cars would be bonkers and very eco unfriendly.

But there is also an assumption in, I would say most, families that Manly Man has to do the driving, whilst everyone else squashes in as best they can. Invariably, this has nothing to do with size.

My 12 year old daughter is far too squished in the back between 2 seats. I wouldn't expect an adult to do it.

Google maps maybe

As the shortest person ever I am always the one who is relegated to the middle seat. It is just one of those things and I see the sense in it. If my MIL was to invite herself somewhere then insist on squashing herself in, of course I would offer the front seat, or move one of the car seats to the front to make more space.

I'm not sure I would whinge and moan about it, just because she wasn't my kind of person. And although you say you are fine with her inviting herself along, you did have to throw in that nobody asked you and that clearly was a problem.

Sounds like you just put up with her for the sake of family and want to find petty things to complain about her with.

I think you are getting a hard time about this too and people are so rude on these threads...AIBU or not. I do not know anybody who would speak to people in this way to their faces.

You only wanted a vent and some suggestions of what to do...not an anhiliation of your character. Hope you all have a lovely day.

I wouldn't put a child in front seat, it's not the safest place in an accident. - Please don't start a debate on car seat safety!!!!!!

Why can't you drive the car? Then let DH & MIL work it out? Will DH not 'allow' you to drive the car?

Why on earth are you taking a 60yr old to a Theme Park? How on earth did you get her to agree to go? My Mum would NEVER come to a Theme Park! In fact she hasn't been anywhere with my daughter, but that's another thread entirely...