Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

NOt to offer to sit in the back?

224 replies

hidinginthenightgarden · 28/08/2017 08:46

We are going to a theme park today. 49 minute drive. Mil has been undecided on whether to come and this morning has announced she will squash between the two car seats in the back as she has never driven there before.
She will not fit. I am about 3 sizes smaller and would be very squashed and uncomfortable. I know I should offer to sit in the back but I really don't want to! There is not reason she cannot come in her own car other than she isn't a great driver. She is only 60 and in good health so not like I am crushing the bones of an old woman but still, I know it would be the kinder thing. Aibu not to sit in the back?
I will add that we do get on fine but She isn't my kind of person.

OP posts:
Floellabumbags · 28/08/2017 09:11

You're not coming across too well OP

Rhubarbginisnotasin · 28/08/2017 09:12

OP, do the journey with you in the back on this one trip but find a way to say next time we have to take two cars.

Im 60. I drive. Im also a MIL. Id only offer to sit in the back if I knew I really could otherwise Id take my own car and if its was the biggest car Id say lets all go in mine.

ProphetOfDoom · 28/08/2017 09:12

it is irksome as her refusal to drive means discomfort for you but I think you'd feel mean and guilty. Maybe you can say to MIL you'll alternate the seating as fitting 3 adults with 2 little ones is rather tight.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 28/08/2017 09:13

I wouldn't sit in the back because I get awful motion sickness and it wouldn't do my back any good to be twisted. If I didn't have travel sickness and back problems I probably would do it though.

Then again there's no way you'd get me to a theme park on BH Monday!

Nousernameforme · 28/08/2017 09:13

Why does op have to be uncomfortable for nearly two hours cause MiL has graced them with her presence?

PoorYorick · 28/08/2017 09:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ProphetOfDoom · 28/08/2017 09:14

Sorry, missed your update. How skinny is DH? Grin

AgathaF · 28/08/2017 09:15

Why listening to them "talk amongst themselves"? Can't you join in? You do sound very petty.

AaoograhaHoa · 28/08/2017 09:16

Could you not just put one car seat in the front (doesnt sound like either dc are babies?). Two adults and one car seat in the back. Bingo. Problem solved. Everyone comfortable.

Only1scoop · 28/08/2017 09:17

If this is for real

Take your 'other car'

Solved

QuackDuckQuack · 28/08/2017 09:17

There's no way I'd sit between our car seats. Unless you have a massive car that would be incredibly uncomfortable.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 28/08/2017 09:17

I wouldn't offer to sit in the back because I get car sick. But my DH will sit in the back instead of his mother so she doesn't get squished. Mind you, he is thinner than both of us as well. Grin

OneInEight · 28/08/2017 09:17

Embarassed now in the face of all the opposite views to say we would take two cars. For us it would make the difference between having a successful day out and a disaster.

imaddictedtomn · 28/08/2017 09:17

You're really mean, OP. Just sit in the back!

I've spent many an uncomfortable journey squeezed between car seats in the back. Just suck it up!

GlitteryFluff · 28/08/2017 09:17

Yeah can you move one of the kids to the front?

Fruitcorner123 · 28/08/2017 09:18

Tel DH you think he should go in the back then. I have sat between car seats in a renault clio. It's not as bad as you describe. I.agree with a pp though why not put one car seat in the front and two adults in the back if that will be more comfortable.

Otherwise take the second car but its a pity to do this and double the pollutionand petrol costs. If she didnt offer to sit in back you would complain about that so I cant see how she can win.

Miracle33 · 28/08/2017 09:18

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to take this down.

BeyondThePage · 28/08/2017 09:18

I wouldn't sit in the back either to be honest - risking pain, having to sit twisted in my own car. Would say it was "not possible without 2 cars, do you want to take yours or shall I take mine?"

Or... it is your DH mother, he can sit in the back whilst you drive - would he choose to "do the right thing?" or choose his own comfort?

Gottagetmoving · 28/08/2017 09:19

If someone asked me nicely to do it I would. But no one will. It is expected of me to be nice enough to offer.And what annoys me the most of everything is that despite anything said on here. When it comes down to it of course o will swap! Because no decent human being wouldn't

Ah,...you want to be asked nicely? That's a bit diva-ish isn't it?
You nailed it when you said ' because no decent human being wouldn't'

The only problem is in your head.
I often sit in the middle back seat between two kids..It's not the most comfortable journey I admit, but it's hardly torturous.

Nikephorus · 28/08/2017 09:19

If someone said to me. "Do you mind sitting in the back as mil won't fit" I would do it.
In that case OP, would you mind sitting in the back (for 49 mins) as MIL won't fit?
There you go, sorted. And you can feel virtuous all the way round the park which should eliminate any minor aches from the journey.

Mellington · 28/08/2017 09:21

Why don't you sit the back on the way home and she sits in the back on the way there?

This is the reason I specifically married someone whose mother is significantly shorter than me 😎

ProphetOfDoom · 28/08/2017 09:21

V good suggestion by AaoograhaHoa

Or take your car & invite a friend along for company? Would change the dynamic of the day.

Only1scoop · 28/08/2017 09:21

Broomstick?

You'll be quicker and so comfy

MummyMuppet2x2 · 28/08/2017 09:22

There you go hidinginthenightgarden! You know that's the right thing to do. Just hop into the back seat with a cheery smile.

Try to keep jolly all day, don't be martyr about it.

hamsterloverlover · 28/08/2017 09:22

Would piss me off too op I think I would take your other car and enjoy a nice journey with the radio on whatever wanted

Swipe left for the next trending thread