To make her get the bus?

[kitkat321]

Having a BBQ at mine this weekend and have invited family round. My mum lives 35 miles away, doesn't drive but can get a bus then train to ours which will take about an hour then do the same on the way home.

She's initially assumed that after the BBQ I'd be taking her on the 90 minute round trip home.

AIBU or after hosting a BBQ for 8 people and doing all the cooking/prep should I be driving her home?

Can she do the travel but stay over night?

Would it kill you to give your mum a lift?
You don't HAVE to BBQ for 8 people you know... it's a choice, you can't really act the martyr over it.

Can she stay over?

Well I would.

No she can't stay over because she has an appointment the next day.

Will it end in the evening? Is your mother fit and able?

I would probably have her stay overnight so you can have some wine with your meal and avoid having to take her home.

Well she is your mum

I'd give my mum a lift no way I'd let her take that trip even though she could she's my mother...she wouldn't let me do that now

Can you dodge all cleaning duties by giving her a lift and leaving it to others

Do you like and get on with your mum?

I'd give her a lift. Maybe very early next morning so I could have a drink.

It will mean that I can't have a drink and also will mean we have to wrap up a bit earlier to take her home - or at least I will as dp has already said he's not wasting his Sunday evening driving her

'Waste his Sunday evening driving her'- seems like all you have is contempt for your mothers inconvenience existence.

Sadly , she is unable to attend then isn't she

Where do you live- I am jealous at the thought of having so much confidence in good weather.
It's set to pour down here most of the weekend.

She's not inconvenient - just quick to assume that everyone will drop everything to run after her

My mum lives 45 minutes away from me and I'd never invite her and not collect her and drop her home. 45 minutes each way is not a long journey!

How old is she? I'm guessing from the usual threads on here about elderly mums, she's about 48

Why would she be unable to attend - her getting 2 short train journeys is almost as quick as me driving her home and less time than it would take me to drive 45 minutes there the 45 minutes back

Jiggly she's 57

Can she stay over and then you take her to her appt the next day? And then she can help with the clearing up too

You sound very mean. She is your Mum. Your husband sounds awful "wasting time" taking her.

If she can make her own way to yours she can make her own way back for sure. Just tell her you'll be over the limit and can't drive her back.

I only meant that she would be unable til attend if she's unable to take public transport there and back

I don't think I'd want to drive someone home if it's a 70 mile round trip for me , even if it was my Mum

kitkat - I'm 53. I do a 4 hour commute to work some days. Honestly, if your mum wants to come to your bbq, she can get public transport.

It's not your problem that she can't drive or that transport is a bit complicated.

There's no sodding way I'd make someone drive me home. She's an able bodied (I assume) adult. My parents are in their late 70s and wouldn't dream of expecting me to ferry them about because they're in good health.

MN is so weird about this stuff.