To make her get the bus?

[kitkat321]

Having a BBQ at mine this weekend and have invited family round. My mum lives 35 miles away, doesn't drive but can get a bus then train to ours which will take about an hour then do the same on the way home.

She's initially assumed that after the BBQ I'd be taking her on the 90 minute round trip home.

AIBU or after hosting a BBQ for 8 people and doing all the cooking/prep should I be driving her home?

Perhaps I need to phone DP father and tell him that he should now pick us up for the bbq tomorrow that he is hosting and take us home after it rather than us making our own way to his house as it seems this is acceptable behaviour...

Op yanbu.

Christ on a bike. I hope I'm not completely incapable of getting myself anywhere at 57. It's not THAT far aware realistically and is still perfectly 'young'.

Don't do it.

I sooo want to know that your mum got the bus home and you had an alcohol infused BBQ

Hahaha I can't believe this thread! Why did so many people think OP was being unreasonable?? My mum is 58 and there is no way I would be giving her a lift!!

Just think on this, one day you never know when, maybe not today or tomorrow, maybe if you're lucky not for a very long time you're mum won't be around any more to drive anywhere!

Really? No way!

Jeez OP take no notice of those pp saying yabu rtf. I am 57 this year and would no way expect a lift to somewhere when there is an alternative and it isn't even late at night. At 57 I am expected to drive 5.5 hours each way to visit my parents in a week end when I work full time so I think your mum is being somewhat feeble

Just think on this, one day you never know when, maybe not today or tomorrow, maybe if you're lucky not for a very long time you're mum won't be around any more to drive anywhere!

No-one can live their life by that rule. You could just as logically say you shouldn't drive her because it takes you away from your husband and children, and who knows whether tomorrow they won't be around for you to see any more.

My FIL's best advice ever is 'always be able to arrive and leave under your own steam'.

The hassle, awkwardness, tedium and inconvenience that following this has saved me is endless.

I really hope when I am the mother's age I won't want my children to facilitate my transport needs. She is perfectly capable.

Well, OP.... now that the weekend of the BBQ is well and truly over, what did Mum and you do?

I echo arriving and leaving under your own steam also. I am older now and would never go anywhere that I couldn't either get to, or get home from independently. I would hate to be relying on someone, or disturbing them or whatever.

And that includes public transport, especially if going to a party where I know I would like to have a drink or two. That is VERY important!

Independence is the best thing ever. We may not have it forever. I cannot understand anyone who wants or needs lifts everywhere. Unless they cannot drive or take public transport themselves. That's a different scenario.