WIBU to ask smoker in car park to move?

[TempusEejit]

Late last night I had a burst water pipe but the emergency plumber can't get here till late this afternoon. I therefore went to the supermarket this morning to stock up on 2ltr bottles of water so I can wash my hands, flush the loo etc.

As I went back to my car there were two women having a chat by the boot of the car parked next to mine. As I got closer I saw that the woman closest to my car was smoking. By the time I'd opened my boot I realised the wind was blowing the smoke in my direction. As I started to unpack there was no indication that the women would be moving any time soon so I gave them an apologetic smile and said "so sorry, but would you mind standing over there (indicating towards the other side of their car) as I have bad asthma and am very sensitive to cigarette smoke?" plus I don't want my hair to fucking stink

She scowled, looked at her cigarette and said, "What, you can smell this thing?" I said yes I can. She said incredulously, "What, this?" I explained again that I have asthma and smoke can trigger it off, that I had to stand where I was standing to load my car and as I had a lot of heavy bottles it's taking me longer to unpack than usual (they weren't individually bagged up). The woman pointed at my car and growled "you'll be getting more fumes from that, pet" so I replied "maybe, but they don't trigger my asthma." After that the woman scowled again but she and her friend finally moved away whilst muttering under her breath.

I didn't think I was being funny with this woman but the way she reacted to me was like I was the rudest person on earth. If I'd have anticipated she'd stand around to argue I'd have just stood back and waited for them to leave - but then why should two of us have to wait around when one has to (to finish their cigarette) and the other doesn't? Btw I took a puff of my inhaler when I got in the car so all is well but I can still smell the smoke on my hair

Was I being unreasonable in asking the woman to move?

If I was smoking and you politely asked me to move as you had asthma I would move. I don't understand why we are so caught up in her right to smoke. I could say it was my right to fart while standing close to someone and it would still be rude. At least a fart can't set off an asthma attack. Usually.

I think you asked politely and her reaction was unreasonable. But she would probably the type to say she eat nuts on her plane as is her god given right. Another one of those 'my rights trump yours' people.

I think you asked politely and her reaction was unreasonable. But she would probably the type to say she eat nuts on her plane as is her god given right.

Um...what? Are planes nut-free now?

Planes are not nut free. That is the point.

I was making reference to the fact that some people put their own wants and needs above a very real reason for somebody else to request that they not do so. Nuts on planes being an example where people are saying they enjoy nuts and sod all those with an allergy.

I personally would move because I would hate for my cigarette smoke to give someone an asthma attack. I wouldn't get all uppity about it.

Isn't it the person with the allergy the one responsible for their safety? If that makes sense. Like there are so many things that Ines are allergic to but if everyone else had to be responsible it wouldn't be practical. Loads of people are allergic to pollen but we don't cut down every plant they just use things to help them cope. I can see how planes could be more of an issue though but peanuts have been allowed for ages to suddenly stop would be odd but I can see how those who enjoy peanuts can go a plane ride without them for the sake of someone's health. Where do you draw the line though? No perfume on planes? If you smell nice you get turfed away? Perfume is something that also triggers asthma a lot. I don't even have asthma anymore and I can't stand perfume or air freshener as it always makes me choke but I couldn't get it banned.

No, of course you weren't being unreasonable. Yes, she was legally allowed to smoke there. You were also legally allowed to ask her if she'd mind moving. She was also legally allowed to say no... Legalities haven't much to do with it. It's just about showing fellow humans a bit of consideration. Politely asking for her to move slightly while you packed the car wasn't a big ask really, and I can't imagine many people would mind, especially given you explained your asthma.

You werent unreasonable to ask. She would not have been unreasonable to say no. However, smokers I think can feel a bit under pressure in terms of places to actually smoke. Who really wants to light up in the middle of a car park anyway? She cant smoke inside, she cant smoke at the entrance, in Scotland anyway she cant smoke in the car if she has kids. So options are limited.

I dont think either of you were being unreasonable

Well she was a bit unreasonable muttering about it...i would have left that til i got home