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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to ask smoker in car park to move?

207 replies

TempusEejit · 21/08/2017 11:20

Late last night I had a burst water pipe but the emergency plumber can't get here till late this afternoon. I therefore went to the supermarket this morning to stock up on 2ltr bottles of water so I can wash my hands, flush the loo etc.

As I went back to my car there were two women having a chat by the boot of the car parked next to mine. As I got closer I saw that the woman closest to my car was smoking. By the time I'd opened my boot I realised the wind was blowing the smoke in my direction. As I started to unpack there was no indication that the women would be moving any time soon so I gave them an apologetic smile and said "so sorry, but would you mind standing over there (indicating towards the other side of their car) as I have bad asthma and am very sensitive to cigarette smoke?" plus I don't want my hair to fucking stink

She scowled, looked at her cigarette and said, "What, you can smell this thing?" I said yes I can. She said incredulously, "What, this?" I explained again that I have asthma and smoke can trigger it off, that I had to stand where I was standing to load my car and as I had a lot of heavy bottles it's taking me longer to unpack than usual (they weren't individually bagged up). The woman pointed at my car and growled "you'll be getting more fumes from that, pet" so I replied "maybe, but they don't trigger my asthma." After that the woman scowled again but she and her friend finally moved away whilst muttering under her breath.

I didn't think I was being funny with this woman but the way she reacted to me was like I was the rudest person on earth. If I'd have anticipated she'd stand around to argue I'd have just stood back and waited for them to leave - but then why should two of us have to wait around when one has to (to finish their cigarette) and the other doesn't? Btw I took a puff of my inhaler when I got in the car so all is well but I can still smell the smoke on my hair

Was I being unreasonable in asking the woman to move?

WIBU to ask smoker in car park to move?
OP posts:
maddiemookins16mum · 21/08/2017 15:30

I think your diagrams are the best ever witnessed on MN and I say that taking into consideration the infamous diagram of the M and S coffee shop/angry ladies with buggies post last year (I think).

Original poster
TempusEejit · 21/08/2017 15:41

I do indeed own a teapot but I must admit that it's actually a clear glass one, not purple. Artistic licence innit. I also use own label teabags in there most of the time as I hate having to empty out the tea leaves. No cake stand here sadly. I would kill for a bit of battenburg though.

LazySusan I'm very surprised the diagram went down so well, however being a long time MNer I knew that anything involving a car park would require one. Had this thread been for showy offy purposes I'd have put "includes diagram" in my thread title Wink

wowserbowser I never thought I'd be pleased to be thought of as a "noblet" but that is the cutest insult I have ever heard!

OP posts:
Seniorcitizen1 · 21/08/2017 16:27

smokers are the most selfish people around - they always hold their disgusting cancer stick away from themselves so that the poisonous fumes they are emitting waft away from them and over other people. You were quite right to ask them to move. I always ask if they would mind holding the cigarette so that they benefit from the smoke as they have paid for me and not me - I too has asthma.

Gottagetmoving · 21/08/2017 16:39

Gottagetmoving,my cake stand is only two tiers.I obviously need to upgrade. And no, I'm not very old. A mere whippersnapper of 52. I'm just a tea snob who only uses fancy, loose leaf tea

I think you were born 20 years too late Shock
You are a secret 'toff' and have probably met the Royals, if not Queenie herself.
I had a Royal Albert tea set complete with cake stand bought as a wedding present for me. It never saw the light of day due to my not having any posh-enough friends. Had I kept it, I would happily have donated to you Grin

kali110 · 21/08/2017 16:50

It's sets my asthma off, however i think yabu, she's outside, by her own car.

Have you tried nioxin? My friend swears by it for hair loss!

Rapunzel15 · 21/08/2017 16:52

If that much cigarette smoke can trigger an asthma attack it cant be very well managed. I suggest you see your asthma nurse.
Tbh im surprised you had the balls to ask her to move. I would have handed you my inhalor and told you to get over yourself

cinnamontoast · 21/08/2017 16:55

Another definitely NBU here. It's never unreasonable to ask someone nicely - you can ask; they are at liberty to refuse.

It sounds like you were having a crap day and the last thing you needed was to have your asthma triggered. I hope you're feeling a bit better now and aren't too disheartened by some of the responses on here. Perhaps you could give us a picture of you sitting at the table with teapot and cake stand?

theymademejoin · 21/08/2017 16:59

Gottagetmoving - I will admit my cake stand has only been taken out a few times. And really only because I felt I should use it as it was languishing (I love that word) in the back of a cupboard. I love the notion of posh afternoon tea but really, can't be arsed with the hassle.

I think the problem is not that I was born 20 years too late but that I wasn't born/married into/earned enough money to pay for staff to organise it all for me.

cinnamontoast · 21/08/2017 17:06

Oh apologies, Tempus! I see you've already done a lovely picture of you with teapot.

missiondecision · 21/08/2017 17:13

I detest smoking. It's is truly horrid.
As you know now, yabu.

misshelena · 21/08/2017 17:19

YABVVVVU

YOU MOVE and leave the ladies be! SOOO entitled.

Softkitty2 · 21/08/2017 17:43

I dislike the smell of cigarettes but would never dare tell anyone to move when in a public space.

Entitled comes to mind? Hmm

GabsAlot · 21/08/2017 18:14

sorry but to th pp saying why shouldnt thy ask

sam as sitting outsid on a bench if theyre their first u dont hav a right to sit down and moan about smoking

theymademejoin · 21/08/2017 18:32

But she didn't moan about smoking or tell them to move. She asked politely. That's no different to politely asking someone to move out of your way, rather than waiting for them to finish their conversation and move on.

Gottagetmoving · 21/08/2017 19:15

I think the problem is not that I was born 20 years too late but that I wasn't born/married into/earned enough money to pay for staff to organise it all for me
Grin

Life's a bitch, innit?! I almost feel your pain Grin

Madwoman5 · 21/08/2017 19:44

You could have used your back seats or passenger seats/floor instead. Yabu

theymademejoin · 21/08/2017 20:14

Gottagetmoving - it's one of life's tragedies [can't find a violin emoji]

Gottagetmoving · 21/08/2017 21:14

theymademejoin

🎻

Gottagetmoving · 21/08/2017 21:15

Aww,.... bugger!! It didn't work.. Angry

Gottagetmoving · 21/08/2017 21:16

Ooh,....yes it did!....It's tiny!

BusyBeez99 · 21/08/2017 22:06

I would have told you to get lost

Shestolethewitchesredshoes · 21/08/2017 23:27

I hate the smell of cigarettes and I also have asthma so I know that Breathing in second hand smoke can be pretty uncomfortable. you weren't wrong in asking her to move.

Coldkebab · 21/08/2017 23:35

So the world goes round you then. Wow i would have ignored you completely. Maybe you should ask people not to breate oxygen incase your levels get low

Systamex · 21/08/2017 23:43

YANBU at all. Yes, perfectly legal etc. but even smokers acknowledge that it's a smelly/dangerous habit and shouldn't mind moving away from non-smokers.

Systamex · 21/08/2017 23:44

You were brave to ask though!

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