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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to ask smoker in car park to move?

207 replies

TempusEejit · 21/08/2017 11:20

Late last night I had a burst water pipe but the emergency plumber can't get here till late this afternoon. I therefore went to the supermarket this morning to stock up on 2ltr bottles of water so I can wash my hands, flush the loo etc.

As I went back to my car there were two women having a chat by the boot of the car parked next to mine. As I got closer I saw that the woman closest to my car was smoking. By the time I'd opened my boot I realised the wind was blowing the smoke in my direction. As I started to unpack there was no indication that the women would be moving any time soon so I gave them an apologetic smile and said "so sorry, but would you mind standing over there (indicating towards the other side of their car) as I have bad asthma and am very sensitive to cigarette smoke?" plus I don't want my hair to fucking stink

She scowled, looked at her cigarette and said, "What, you can smell this thing?" I said yes I can. She said incredulously, "What, this?" I explained again that I have asthma and smoke can trigger it off, that I had to stand where I was standing to load my car and as I had a lot of heavy bottles it's taking me longer to unpack than usual (they weren't individually bagged up). The woman pointed at my car and growled "you'll be getting more fumes from that, pet" so I replied "maybe, but they don't trigger my asthma." After that the woman scowled again but she and her friend finally moved away whilst muttering under her breath.

I didn't think I was being funny with this woman but the way she reacted to me was like I was the rudest person on earth. If I'd have anticipated she'd stand around to argue I'd have just stood back and waited for them to leave - but then why should two of us have to wait around when one has to (to finish their cigarette) and the other doesn't? Btw I took a puff of my inhaler when I got in the car so all is well but I can still smell the smoke on my hair

Was I being unreasonable in asking the woman to move?

WIBU to ask smoker in car park to move?
OP posts:
Saracen · 21/08/2017 13:17

Oh, and if they do oblige by moving, but glare or huff, it costs nothing to lay on the gratitude with a trowel: "Thanks SO much, I really appreciate it - I hate to disturb you and it's really nice of you to help me."

Then they'll still think you are a batty unreasonable cow, but perhaps a nice one whose needs they may be inclined to consider next time.

AlexaAmbidextra · 21/08/2017 13:20

I'd have told you to fuck off. How very precious you are.

GabsAlot · 21/08/2017 13:27

she was there first by her car so ywbu

dont come to london it stinks an thats all different types of fumes

theymademejoin · 21/08/2017 13:28

You were perfectly reasonable to ask politely. I don't understand the logic of those saying the smoker was there first so unreasonable to ask. I see this as the same as asking someone politely to move out of your way. You can ask and the polite and considerate response on their part would be to comply, despite the fact that they are within their rights to refuse.

TempusEejit · 21/08/2017 13:42

Plumber has turned up early and fixed leak, running water's back on so I am feeling much more relaxed.

I see I have a few supportive posts now (thanks!) but the general consensus has been an eye opener. Just goes to show how our own personal circumstances/stresses/back stories can influence what we think is acceptable behaviour at any given time.

I do realise I have broken the rules of AIBU by conceding far too early so here is my revised response now that I am chilling out with a much needed brew...

WIBU to ask smoker in car park to move?
OP posts:
whatsthecomingoverthehill · 21/08/2017 13:44

I think after all that stress you need a fag to chill OP.

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 21/08/2017 13:45

You were being completely unreasonable but I like your drawing

^This. It's very cute! Grin

TempusEejit · 21/08/2017 13:46

Just realised that should say IANBU! Damn there goes my MN artistic ambitions...

OP posts:
TempusEejit · 21/08/2017 13:47

whats I'd love to but it'd make me wheeze! Am low carbing so I cant even turn to emergency chocolate Sad

OP posts:
Flyingflipflop · 21/08/2017 13:50

Tempus, we need to get this thread back in track to turn it into a proper AIBU.

So here goes.

YABU for not muzzling the dog and YABU for having a green dress that clashes with the purple teapot.

TempusEejit · 21/08/2017 13:55

flying would you mind saying that from the next room please?

OP posts:
MyheartbelongstoG · 21/08/2017 13:58

I would have lit another one.

Flyingflipflop · 21/08/2017 13:58

Sorry........just moving rooms and picking up loudhailer.........

Here goes.......

BlondeB83 · 21/08/2017 14:04

YABU

Gottagetmoving · 21/08/2017 14:09

I think you are lying about the teapot. No one uses a teapot these days, do they??? Grin

Gottagetmoving · 21/08/2017 14:11

Just realised that should say IANBU! Damn there goes my MN artistic ambitions
I thought that is what it does say on your new picture?

user1498921160 · 21/08/2017 14:16

YANBU. You made a polite request, explaining your reasons. The person saying they would have lit another one needs to grow up.

Tigerlovingall · 21/08/2017 14:47

You are being v.v.v.u in not telling us more about your fab pooch!Easter Smile

theymademejoin · 21/08/2017 14:58

MyheartbelongstoG - and that attitude is why smokers have a reputation for being inconsiderate gits. Very unfair on those who are considerate.

Gottagetmoving - I'm currently drinking my tea from a teapot (not actually from a teapot but poured out of teapot into the cup). I'm ever so refined Wink

WowserBowser · 21/08/2017 15:05

I'm a smoker, I might have thought you were a bit of a noblet (wrongly, as you are so cute with your drawings) but I would have moved. Easier for me to move with my fag than you to move your car etc

LazySusan11 · 21/08/2017 15:06

Come on op admit it you only started this tread so you could add that brilliant diagram!

SomeBerryJam · 21/08/2017 15:08

@That1950sMom

Grin lol

Gottagetmoving · 21/08/2017 15:16

Gottagetmoving - I'm currently drinking my tea from a teapot (not actually from a teapot but poured out of teapot into the cup). I'm ever so refined

Are you very old? Grin I know old people like tea from a tea pot...but yes, refined people do too. If you also have a three tier cake stand you are officially posh Shock

Mittens1969 · 21/08/2017 15:24

This is too relaxed to be an AIBU thread lol. You're far too nice to be a poster on an AIBU thread, op. Grin

theymademejoin · 21/08/2017 15:29

Gottagetmoving - my cake stand is only two tiers. I obviously need to upgrade.

And no, I'm not very old. A mere whippersnapper of 52. I'm just a tea snob who only uses fancy, loose leaf tea Wink

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