Bridesmaid dress AIBU?

[Pombearsandnaiceham]

Hi everyone,

I may be told that I'm being ridiculous with this AIBU (and am prepared to be told this), but I'm getting a bit stressed out, so would like to find out your advice please.

I'm a bridesmaid for a close relative, and the wedding is coming up in a few weeks. The bride very kindly bought my dress for me, which I'm really grateful for.

The dress was originally quite long (and I'm really short), so DM very kindly offered to take it to get it shortened. I told the bride that I'd need to shorten the dress, which she was fine with. The only thing that the bride asked was that my heels don't show when I'm wearing the dress, as I'd planned to wear heels to give myself some height.

I tried the heels that I'd planned to wear with the dress when it was still unshortened (with my DM there with me), so that we'd know how much material to take off.

I've just tried on the shortened dress with lower heels than I'd planned to be wearing, and they do show quite a lot under the dress.

I'm now really nervous about what the bride will think and say. I feel a bit sick. There'll be someone there filming the whole day as well as a photographer, and the bride wants everything to be perfect.

What do you all think? Should I buy another dress? Or should I just get over myself?

I'd either wear flats (most sensible option) or buy this one and cut the sleeves off (do NOT get your mother to do this).

m.asos.com/tfnc/tfnc-wedding-v-front-maxi-dress-with-frill-sleeves/prd/7413997?CTAref=We%20Recommend%20Carousel_1&featureref1=we%20recommend%20pers

Plenty of suggestions on here now to sort this, OP. Either wear flats, buy the new dress from the link posted, buy the sleeved one and alter it etc etc. You need to figure out what you are going to do and sort it instead of worrying about it too much longer.

Thanks everyone for all the advice - I really appreciate it.

Sparkly in mid-twenties. Have always struggled to assert myself with my DM. She's lovely and has been a great Mum, but likes to have things done her own way and can be a little bossy at times.

Just send a text to the bride saying "omg seamstress has messed up and cut dress too short. Can wear flats and have it skim floor or heels but you'll see shoes a bit. Here is a pic of feet in dress so you can decide :) let me know what works better for you. What a pain!"

Then there is no dropping in it, bride gets a choice, everyone happy. No need for all this drama and nonsense.

"Then there is no dropping in it,"

Apart from seamstress who may not be at fault.

Op if you have time & can afford to get a new dress then do it & have it taken up properly with the shoes that you would like to wear.

In the dress villa link posted above, are your shoes showing more than the model's in the second pic?? By how much? If it is skimming the floor with heels you'll end up putting holes in it with your shoes when you walk anyway. An element of practicality needs to be factored in if she doesn't want her wedding ruined by tumbling bridesmaids... I'd be more bothered about that on the video than a dress too short by an inch!?

Look at this on eBay

ASOS Grey Floor Length Maxi Dress, Size 10

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/263147279989

I don't know how to link on mobile but thedressvilla.com has it in stock from size 2-20. It is £50 there instead of £25 though.

Lean forward a tad, the dress will go down in the front and cover shoes. Could always say you have a bad back that day. Or if the hem is deep enough get some of that instant hem stuff no need to sew and lower the hem. Enjoy the day regardless.

Hope you've managed to sort out your dilemma. If it's only tips of shoes that should be ok.

Your mother was being a helicopter mom and it has hurt you. First! You must wear the shoes that go with the dress to the fitting. YOU MUST GO TO THE FITTING.
But for now, it's Grecian, will look lovely with flats/sandals. I'm sorry for this stress. Best wishes and live and learn. We are all on a learning curve.

I agree with the suggestion by CinderellaRockeller, i.e. gently blame the dressmaker, send photos to the bride of you wearing the dress and both pairs of shoes fir her viewpoint - or buy the new dress, if you can afford it. The wedding day is for the bride and bridegroom - everyone else should really be there to help the happy couple have a fabulous day with great photos! 🌺

It says low stock now. I was able to put a size ten in my basket. Takes me a the way through to checkout.

I think I was a very relaxed bride - I let my bridesmaid choose her own dress. However I do think ankle length looks shit and very dated, so I don't think bride is being bridezilla by saying keep it floor length ie the style that I bought in the first place.

Your two options are wear flats or buy the one off the dress villa website and get it altered yourself. I'd also make sure you're mum knows that she's messed up - that the bride isn't being problematic; she's ruined the dress.

If it was me, I'd order the dress again and ask my mum to pay for it.

If you blame the dressmaker, won't the bride be wanting a refund for the dress?

Like everyone else has suggested wear flats; the advantage is that while the inevitable photos will be taken on grass, you won't be sinking backwards like everyone else. You definitely won't fall over while the photos are being taken too! One silver lining in every cloud....

What have you decided to do OP?

wear ballet shoes

Did you pin the hem to the correct length? I'd have issue with whoever shortened it tbh. If they've left a hem then that could give you a little leeway. If you can get it lengthened do. I'd expect a shop to pay for a dress they shortened too much unless it could be rectified. I'd expect a bridesmaid dress to be either ankle or floorlength. Covering shoes suggests it should be floorlength so if it isn't, you're going to look odd unless you're the only bridesmaid and it won't matter what shoes you wear as they'll show!

@Pombearsandnaiceham - has the wedding happened yet? Did you replace the dress or wear flat shoes? Please come back and let us know what you decided to do....

diddl, the dressmaker didn't make the dress, only turn up the hem on the OP's dress. Which DM paid for (I assume), not the bride.

Just wear lower shoes. It's not rocket science.

If bride doesn't know yet, don't tell her. I doubt she would notice as she would be more concerned with other stuff such as her own dress, whether groom will be there, flowers etc.

If the bride was bothered about having a short bridesmaid she wouldn't have asked you!
Just wear lower shoes (you could try several pairs until you find the optimum height).
I wouldn't say anything to her as she'll be getting more and more stressed as the big day approaches: if you compromise on shoes she'll never know.
Enjoy the day.