To not be thankful MIL has cut the grass?

[Dontgiveaflyingfuck]

Just got back from a week camping to discover MIL has been gardening. How do i know this in the dark? Because the house I spent my only child free day the entire summer holiday cleaning is a fucking tip. She has dragged everything out of cupboards to find things and has left stuff everywhere. I have a 2 year old and the sight of hedge trimmers, saws, two badly balanced ladders and numerous cables gave me palpatations. Oh and the house is covered in mud and grass. My oldest two (9 and 7) are upset because their bedroom is a tip. Eldest child is autistic and everything is now in the wrong place. I assume MIL left my 2 year old nephew whom she cares for in the bedroom while she made my house into a shit tip. DH thinks we should be thankful shes tried to help. I'm dreading the daylight - if shes cut my fucking hedges im going balistic. I have lovely neighbours but very noisy so grow the hedges tall for privacy and MIL has always complained they are too high.

I really wouldn't be happy with that 'explaination' but it's not my house/garden...

If this happened on Tuesday she had plenty of time to send you a message and warn you that she'd 'been taken ill' and left your house and garden looking like crap.

She's also lied to your neighbour and killed the one thing you asked her to look after. And you think she's lying to you about the illness.

You say she wants your DH to do her garden because she can't do it herself. Do you think she was making a spiteful point about that inability by coming over to ruin yours? Or she resented being asked to look after a plant and decided to ruin it? Or she just takes pleasure in causing upset? Or she thinks she knows best how to run your house and garden and doesn't like how you keep it?

Either way, you need to get back your key and never, ever, ask her to help again at your home. It's clearly too much for her in one way or another. Either she can't cope, or she's deliberately destroyed something your daughter cared about, messed up your home, and caused problems in your garden because she felt like it.

It's very odd behaviour. Do you think there might be something else going on like the beginnings of dementia? It can be very insidious.

You should ask her why she lied to your neighbour. Also, next time she tries to get your husband to do her garden, tell her she's obviously quite capable of doing it herself!

You were growing a pumpkin indoors?!
How does that work?

pointless Thread x

Moonshine in a massive pot. Dd1 does not attach to things nor really care for much. Last Halloween she planted a pumkin seed at a family workshop and has devoted herself to caring for it. Repotting, waterimg, taking it outside for sunshine and remembering to bring it into 'bed'. Its been lovely to watch her nuture something and has provided a way into her world. It was inevitable it would end badly but just sad.

I've spoken to my neighbour and he was told we had asked her to do it and stepped it at the sight of an old disabled lady balanced on a ladder with a hedge trimmer.

What the ACTUAL fuck?

I'd be annoyed too.

gemini69 - pointless post.

Blimey the neighbour update. Omg I'd have gone nuclear.

Your MIL either did this deliberately or has some form of Dementia/Alzheimer's either way this needs to be urgently addressed, DH and you have an obligation to speak to his DSis. MIL left a three year old unsupervised to cause havoc whilst she, a disabled person, used a ladder and power tools as well as leaving other potentially dangerous items unsupervised but within his reach.
Have you got the keys back!

You poor, poor thing, this is a complete nightmare for you. One thing to mention is it's probably pointless asking for the key/s back, chances are she will have had them copied. You will need to change the locks to have any peace of mind this could not happen again.

Trespass and vandalism I call it.

Get the keys back, don't leave the kids with her and keep a close eye on how she is coping at home. Been through the same with my MIL and FIL. They think they are helping but they put everything/ everyone in danger. The worst was when FIL painted our bannisters while we were away. Disaster. Can't even describe the level of my horror when we stepped through the front door.

Can't even describe the level of my horror when we stepped through the front door

Please try .... I need to hear this one

I once came home from holidays to find no seats in our kitchen chairs! My mother had removed them to be cleaned.
I love her though.

My youngest is autistic and I know how attached they can become to certain things. My heart breaks for her. I would be worried about your mil lying to the neighbours and leaving the toddler unattended. Sorry you came home to all that xx

Greentulips me too. For now l've made up my own version:We walked through our front door thinking 'At last , home sweet home when l noticed my beautiful bespoke solid oak hand carved staircase was glowing white in the darkness. I turned on the light to see an empty paint tin ( Wilkies Everyday Value White Gloss ) at the bottom of the stairs. Just then l heard a bloodcurdling scream ....then realised it was me.

Oh OP. I will restrain myself from saying what I think, because you don't need me fuelling anger, but as a fellow mum of an ASD child with a MIL the good Lord sent to teach me patience in the face of stupidity and, sadly, malice I send so much sympathy. Hope DD is okay over the next days and weeks.

pointless Thread x

Oh dear, Gemini. There is nothing of value, worth, or even accuracy in your post at all. I suppose that has a certain comedic value, given... though I doubt you will comprehend why.

My there is a lot of colourful language on this thread.

Both my wife and I were pretty clear with both my mother (my father passed away some time ago) and my in laws when we first married that it's our house, (subsequently) our children and, our rules. We are delighted to see them but they come and go as guests of ours. We ask for nothing and we expect no input - we love them but we have our own family so to speak.

I studied, lived and worked all over the world with my career before settling down 50 miles from where I grew up and 150 from my in laws. My siblings have never really cut the apron strings from my mother and as well as living close by my mother, involve themselves more closely from receiving dog walking favours to "borrowing" stuff, baby sitting, unloading emotionally and, getting lots of lifts - they naturally then get more of my Mum than I would ever want, love her though I do.

Bahhhhhumbug

Holy shit! What did you do?

OMG! I'd have hit the roof!!

Did they pair to correct the damage?

Why on earth would she need to ransack your DC's bedrooms to find gardening stuff?! . No YANBU! I would go fucking ape-shit if I got home and found what you've described.

FHs the 2 year older of wrecked the bedrooms whilst locked in during MIL attack at the hedge