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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be thankful MIL has cut the grass?

223 replies

Dontgiveaflyingfuck · 17/08/2017 01:06

Just got back from a week camping to discover MIL has been gardening. How do i know this in the dark? Because the house I spent my only child free day the entire summer holiday cleaning is a fucking tip. She has dragged everything out of cupboards to find things and has left stuff everywhere. I have a 2 year old and the sight of hedge trimmers, saws, two badly balanced ladders and numerous cables gave me palpatations. Oh and the house is covered in mud and grass. My oldest two (9 and 7) are upset because their bedroom is a tip. Eldest child is autistic and everything is now in the wrong place. I assume MIL left my 2 year old nephew whom she cares for in the bedroom while she made my house into a shit tip. DH thinks we should be thankful shes tried to help. I'm dreading the daylight - if shes cut my fucking hedges im going balistic. I have lovely neighbours but very noisy so grow the hedges tall for privacy and MIL has always complained they are too high.

OP posts:
pullingmyhairout1 · 17/08/2017 08:17

Never, ever will I give a key to my parents or any il's (if I ever live with someone again). I like my privacy too much.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 17/08/2017 08:20

Sorry your hedges have been hacked. This is exactly why we live 80 miles from my pil!

Is DH on your side today and helping with the tidy up effort?

Shadow666 · 17/08/2017 08:25

Oh. god. Why do people do this? Hope the garden is not too bad. Really not what you want to come home from holiday to.

diddl · 17/08/2017 08:27

Sounds awful.

Hope that your husband is cleaning up if he won't tell his mum to & def. either get the key back or change the lock!

BertrandRussell · 17/08/2017 08:27

There has to be some sort of explanation, surely- although I can't think what. Why would the hedge trimmers and stuff be in the house?

MarmaladeIsMyJam · 17/08/2017 08:28

Tell her you had to ring the police last night because you thought you had been burgled Wink

Therealslimshady1 · 17/08/2017 08:29

Can't believe she did this, how hopeless

Dawnedlightly · 17/08/2017 08:30

Turning this on it's head- is there any way you can accept what she's done, get the keys back and get DH to clear up.
Don't stay angry. Flowers

Nomoreboomandbust · 17/08/2017 08:30

Oh god sounds awful.

I feed my dils/ds cats while they away and left a loaf and milk and wine in their fridge.

Was that ok? I wouldn't dream of doing anything else

Sayhellotothemoomoos · 17/08/2017 08:34

Nomoreboomandbust I think that's fine and very thoughtful.

metalmum15 · 17/08/2017 08:35

Why do people think it's acceptable to go round to someone else's house and treat it like their own? If it was my MIL she wouldn't have a key. I think you just have to be honest with her. Do you have a key to her house? If so, next time she goes away somewhere pop round and do some 'helpful' tidying and gardening. See how she likes it.

metalmum15 · 17/08/2017 08:35

Why do people think it's acceptable to go round to someone else's house and treat it like their own? If it was my MIL she wouldn't have a key. I think you just have to be honest with her. Do you have a key to her house? If so, next time she goes away somewhere pop round and do some 'helpful' tidying and gardening. See how she likes it.

Original poster
Dontgiveaflyingfuck · 17/08/2017 08:35

SHE CUT THE HEDGES (sobs)

And left hedge clippings all over the garden. And dd1s beloved pumkin plant which she has nutured since October has been moved outside and of course is dead. The only reason MIL was suppose to come in my house was to care for thay fucking plant. Do not know how to tell her :-(

OP posts:
CurbsideProphet · 17/08/2017 08:38

Get your DH round to MiL ASAP to get the keys back. Gosh I would be fuming Angry

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 17/08/2017 08:38

YANBU. My exPIL from my first marriage used to do this sort of thing when we were at work or away. I would get upset, exH would act innocent and say he would speak to them about it, apparently to no effect. Later I discovered that he was actually colluding with them and agreeing to them coming round. It was one of the many many reasons he became an 'ex'. Even 20 years on it still makes me cross just thinking about it.

Nomoreboomandbust · 17/08/2017 08:39

It's totally awful op really really overstepping any possible boundaries.

Get the key off her and to be honest I would go ape shit at her.Angry

So so disrespectful to you both. And wierd.

Thanks sayHello Smile

Dawnedlightly · 17/08/2017 08:39

Forget my soppy thread earlier!
Angry about the pumpkin? Is it dry? Is it worth watering and planting out Sad

FanwankTheAbsurd · 17/08/2017 08:39

I'd be going ballistic. What does your dh say about all this?

Fedupithink · 17/08/2017 08:40

I would be livid. Straight round there this morning, demand your keys back and a massive conversation about boundaries to be had. None of his, it's his mum stuff. She needs to know you can stand up for yourself. Such a betrayal of trust.

Original poster
Dontgiveaflyingfuck · 17/08/2017 08:40

Oh and we don't have a shed (long long story) so currently all gardening stuff is stored in the understairs cupboard. Its the kind of cupboard where things get chucked into to get out of babies reach. I can find stuff in there but anyone else has to pull the whole lot out. When DH replaces the shed (4 years waiting so far, not actually expecting one!) I will tidy the cupboard. Marital stalemate in short.

Bedrooms messed by my 2 year old nephew whom MIL cares for

OP posts:
VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 17/08/2017 08:40

Aargh, how dare she?! DH needs to step up and kick off.

PandorasXbox · 17/08/2017 08:41

Get the keys off her today but first tell her how upset you are. Not DH, you. And ask her why the house is a tip.

OvercomeByGravity · 17/08/2017 08:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for personal reasons.

c3pu · 17/08/2017 08:43

Go round MIL's and pull the place apart looking for the key?

Queenioqueenio · 17/08/2017 08:43

Phone her up and Ask her when she is coming back to today up after herself as she's left your house a tip.
Not surprised you are fuming