To not be thankful MIL has cut the grass?

[Dontgiveaflyingfuck]

Just got back from a week camping to discover MIL has been gardening. How do i know this in the dark? Because the house I spent my only child free day the entire summer holiday cleaning is a fucking tip. She has dragged everything out of cupboards to find things and has left stuff everywhere. I have a 2 year old and the sight of hedge trimmers, saws, two badly balanced ladders and numerous cables gave me palpatations. Oh and the house is covered in mud and grass. My oldest two (9 and 7) are upset because their bedroom is a tip. Eldest child is autistic and everything is now in the wrong place. I assume MIL left my 2 year old nephew whom she cares for in the bedroom while she made my house into a shit tip. DH thinks we should be thankful shes tried to help. I'm dreading the daylight - if shes cut my fucking hedges im going balistic. I have lovely neighbours but very noisy so grow the hedges tall for privacy and MIL has always complained they are too high.

Do ynot u think she's done this maliciously op?

Grrr should say ... ask her when is she coming back to tidy up after herself ..... stupid auto correct

I would totally lose my shit over this but probably best to go with deadly calm cold fury with MIL. Suggest she might like to replace DD's pumpkin plant. Key to be returned with no discussion.

Phone her up now and ask her when she plans to come and finish off the job she started. Don't clean up after her. Demand that she comes and sort out everything today or else you will be phoning the police to report her for criminal damage.

And do it - you didn't give her permission to do any of this - it's trespass and criminal damage. If you had paid someone to look after your plant and they had taken it upon themselves to destroy your garden and home, you would involve the police. I don't see how it is different if a relative does the same thing.

Can you take the kids out for the day so you don't have to be round while everything is still a tip and she is here sorting it out?

Outrageous OP. My stance on such things is that if you don't pay my mortgage then you don't interfere or proffer an opinion about my house. My MIL has form for looking in cupboard/the fridge/the garage etc etc and commenting on it. Cheeky beyond belief and not something I can ever imagine doing in her house (or anyone else's!)

Oh, I'm sorry!

Commiserations. My PILs were a total pain when we moved in. They were especially insistent on cutting our 2" high lawn down to the wire, but mercifully forgot half the lawnmower. I quite like a nice 'fluffy' lawn and it wasn't in any way overgrown yet (still isn't, and we've been there another 6 weeks now). You've got me worried now actually, cause we have some nice tall leylandi shielding us that she say need lopping, and she'll send FIL around with his loppers... ugh.

Or if you don't want to involve the police, I like the idea of going round and destroying her house and garden so she knows how it feels.

You have to say something to her. If not she will think it's ok to do it again. Definately get keys back.

Don't worry about upseting her. Her feelings don't overide yours or your childrens. Don"t leave it to DH either, it needs to come from you.

I can't believe she left everything in such a state or left 2 year old unsupervised for that long!

.

Direct DH to list of clearing up chores to be done today & subequent days until completed, using up his annual leave/goodwill at work, or he gets MIL to do it.
Get emergency locksmith in now to change locks.
Bundle up hedge clippings & donate to MIL's doorstep/garden in loose freestyle dump - OP in mutinous silence, no need to explain.
Take DC out for all-day treats.
Treat yourself away from home.
OP to kindly allow DH to deal with impact of MIL's thoughtlessness.

Overarching principles are to direct negative energy & emotion into something positive & pleasurable for you & the kids, take action to reinforce your boundaries (locks) & hold others to account (clear up their mess).

What are you going to do, OP?

As a mil this thread is so interesting (sorry op know for you that's not the right word)

We always have the key to my dils house to feed the cat/water the plants etc and once I was tempted to do the ironing as I wanted to help them but dh pointed out it was overstepping the boundaries. So right.

But this situation is beyond awful.

Don't mention the mess, or the hedges, just phone her and ask her to bring the key back today. Don't speak to her when she returns it.

She knows what she's done.

go over to her house and do exactly the same. i bet she'll never do it again.

Oh dear.

Has to be malicious though No one would be this stupid

Oh OP I'd be fuming! How dare she decide that your hedges are too tall when she knows you want them that way! Sod it being DH's mum, you need to make it clear how angry you are. And take the key back!!!

Oh and DH should sort the new shed out today. Keeping gardening stuff under the stairs is bonkers.

You have to talk to her. You need to say the place is a mess and dangerous for the children, EDC is really upset at the state of his room, and I want to cry every time I think about my hedges. I like suggesting they get a new pumpkin plant.
My dh would not be at work today! He would be cleaning it all up after that tryingbtp help comment. If he appreciates her, he cleans it up. Properly. Might even inspire him to do that shed..., it's his fault too really
Obviously you can never again ask her to take care of anything, and dh needs to know this.
Seriously. Fucking hell. Poor you OP!

What a nightmare!

Omg what a controlling entitled interfering busybody ( unless there's some dementia or something involved because that is just bizarre behaviour and far from normal )

Is the first time she's done anything like this OP?

OP how old is hour DD? Could the pumpkin plant 'come back' in a new pot, as a surprise, without her knowing it's a different one?

Bloody hell OP, I'd want to go mad with her. I find confrontation awful, but experience has taught me that DH won't say anything to his mother, so it would have to be me

I'd be absolutely livid. So sorry OP, especially about the hedges, how bloody dare she. Demand some bamboo screening until they grow back to how you wanted them before she so arrogantly decided she knew better than you and has the right to enforce your garden looking how she wants it to be. Massive, massive boundary issues. And that's leaving aside the unholy mess she left behind her.

I'd be sorely tempted to hand the kids to dh, take the keys and go somewhere very soothing with instructions that you won't be coming home until that mess is fixed as you are damned if you're cleaning up after her.

Ah, the shed.
The plot thickens.
Add shed to DH's list of Urgent & Important, section For Want Of A Nail...

But aside from that, MIL would still have accessed the tools & wreaked havoc indoors & out. Was 2yo left free to roam indoors or into cupboard ?

Add Resolution of Shed to list of DH's tasks.