Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell this mum off?

212 replies

Potterhead113 · 16/08/2017 15:10

I was on a long bus journey in central London yesterday (35 minutes) and a woman and two children got on (aged 6 and 3) and sat Behind me. After 2 minutes the 3 year old proceeded to jump up and down and scream and hit my chair. After less than 5 minutes of this I turned around and asked the mum to get the child to stop as it was annoying me and the screaming was annoying an elderly lady down the bus. 10 minutes later and the child is still doing it and mum is doing nothing. I turned around again and said 'if you won't parent your children I will' and I told the child nicely to please stop. The child stopped for the rest of their journey. The mum made noises and muttered the whole time about how rude I was and how I obviously must hate children (I don't)
WIBU?

OP posts:
HorridHenryrule · 17/08/2017 15:01

Church will help you understand that. Not everyone is the same some people do need help it takes a community to bring up a child not one parent. It shouldn't be one smug disgruntled woman on the bus to do it. Most mums on here agree with you but not your attitude. Know one on the bus is going to be upset over kids makings bit of noise. Kids will be kids. You had a right to be annoyed with her child kicking your chair she's 3 she doesn't know better. As adults we should have learnt how to control our feelings and address situations with more diplomacy. You might as well tell her she is a shit parent who shouldn't have kids because that's how you come across.

HorridHenryrule · 17/08/2017 15:23

You don't see many 3 year olds jumping up and down on the bus screaming. I have never seen it happen. The mum could have been at the end of her tether or her dd could have a disability. You don't know what card you'll be dealt with later.

FlyingFox95 · 17/08/2017 15:28

Church is irrelevant to this post, preach elsewhere.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 17/08/2017 15:35

YANBU, OP. She wasn't parenting her child so someone else had to do it for her.

If she doesn't like that, she should grow up and take some responsibility for her own child, and then people won't have to do her job for her.

HorridHenryrule · 17/08/2017 15:40

The ending to my story is don't judge others if you don't want to be judged back. Why come here if she thought she was right in what she done. Why don't she boast about it to her friends?

One of her friends will say I feel sorry for her then the stories will come out about family or friends with kids. The op will feel like a twat in the end.

woodhill · 17/08/2017 17:23

Perhaps it will help the ineffective parent to do better next time with her dc on the bus. This reminds me of the car park/trolley thread.

Alancarr · 17/08/2017 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Curlysue87 · 17/08/2017 18:11

When my grandma was raising my dad telling other people's kids off was the norm. If they were doing something dangerous or being a nuisance other parents dealt with it.

Being raised by my grandma I was taught the same even though it takes a lot for me to tell someone's else's kids off.

I think you did the right thing it was not only bothering you but others on the bus so why shouldn't you have said something.

Too many parents now let their kids do what the hell they like and when another parent tells the child/ren they go up in arms about it.

Original poster
Potterhead113 · 17/08/2017 18:21

alancarr is that supposed to be offensive? How childish. Clearly you weren't there because I neither have bad hair, smell or have problems fitting in a seat. Perhaps you would like to say which bus number and time of day it was as well. Oh and the colour of my top.

OP posts:
Alancarr · 17/08/2017 18:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mctat · 17/08/2017 18:41

Oh dear that one really went over the head, OP.

I don't do religion or church however the rest of what Horrid says is pretty perfect, actually.

'Not everyone is the same some people do need help it takes a community to bring up a child not one parent.'

'As adults we should have learnt how to control our feelings and address situations with more diplomacy.'

Be careful up there on your high horse, OP.

Nancy91 · 17/08/2017 18:50

Wooooo! Go you, OP. You really showed that 3 year old who is boss!

KimmySchmidt1 · 17/08/2017 18:52

YANBU - she had the chance, didn't take it, she sounds like she is hopeless and not coping - you did her a favour. Absolutely no reason why other people should be subject to her inability to parent.

Deidre21 · 17/08/2017 19:06

It's not acceptable for children to behave rudely towards others. It all comes from the way they're brought up. My child at that age wouldn't behave that way. It's always easy for people to say you shouldn't have said something but it's also not fair for people to have children then don't care to show them right from wrong and in turn cause an issue to another. If they're not going to do their jobs as parents then of course there'll be persons as the OP who will feel they need to say something directly to the parents/child. It all comes down to respect. Some might find the OP being petty but that's just another way of saying that what one person is annoyed by should be ignored. Why not think, how you would like to be treated before you deciding that someone else feelings /expectations is irrelevant. I don't see children as the problem it's not usually their fault it lies with the parents or bad parenting. Some expect teachers other carers to do these jobs yet it is all supposed to start at home. If manners / consideration is part of your daily life it's easy to be considerate to others in public too.

rushmess · 17/08/2017 19:11

Well done OP.Smile

userofthiswebsite · 17/08/2017 19:14

You did the right thing OP. It's not on to let kids sit there and scream. Some people just can't be bothered to control their children.

pinkpantherpink · 17/08/2017 19:16

Good on you!

falange · 17/08/2017 19:18

I don't think you were being smug and ywnbu. If I was on the bus I'd have cheered you.

Crowdo · 17/08/2017 19:28

You went too far, OP.

Strygil · 17/08/2017 19:32

You remind me of a line in a Stan Barstow novel - "the bossy lavatory attendant like the world is full of....." I would have done the same, but I wouldn't then have come out with that dazzlingly snotty, pompous one-liner, which was solely aimed at insulting a woman whose situation you can't even begin to guess at.

kali110 · 17/08/2017 19:32

You need to go to church Grin

Aridane · 17/08/2017 19:44

Let's welcome Neutrogena to the thread Grin

nokidshere · 17/08/2017 19:45

I tell other people's children off all the time, I don't have a problem with it. I have no issue at all with people telling off my children (now teens) if they think they need it.

But if you had said "I will parent your children because you haven't" I would not be impressed.

If they need telling off just do it. Mostly they will respond simply because they are so shocked that someone they don't know had the cheek to tell them off.

Katherine2626 · 17/08/2017 19:47

Well done. Sounds like the mother could do with a few lessons in manners too - perhaps she was really annoyed that your telling the child to behave worked.

Talith · 17/08/2017 19:53

On the fence. Yet again. Just this evening I told a 6 year old (estimate) not to jump and rock on a display in the shop as they were breaking it. Childhood isn't a bubble - interactions with other people are part of that. I wouldn't have cast aspersions on any parenting going on though. It was more an observation than a massive judgement.

Swipe left for the next trending thread