To tell this mum off?

[Potterhead113]

I was on a long bus journey in central London yesterday (35 minutes) and a woman and two children got on (aged 6 and 3) and sat Behind me. After 2 minutes the 3 year old proceeded to jump up and down and scream and hit my chair. After less than 5 minutes of this I turned around and asked the mum to get the child to stop as it was annoying me and the screaming was annoying an elderly lady down the bus. 10 minutes later and the child is still doing it and mum is doing nothing. I turned around again and said 'if you won't parent your children I will' and I told the child nicely to please stop. The child stopped for the rest of their journey. The mum made noises and muttered the whole time about how rude I was and how I obviously must hate children (I don't)
WIBU?

[PodgeBod]

'if you won't parent your children I will'

Sorry but this line makes me think you have a chip on your shoulder and makes me wonder if you've exaggerated the child's behaviour. I've noticed a trend of people who are very prickly about children making any noise at all in public and they tend to make comments like this.

[2littlemoos]

I do think you should have said something. But I do think you were rude. Sometimes I think we can't help but be rude at times but as long as you're aware of it then it will help prevent rudeness in the future.

Think I said rude too much... rude.

[Ropsleybunny]

@Reborn

Yeah, you were totally being unreasonable. Who do you think you are? "If you won't parent your children, I will." WTF?!

Get over yourself.

And you have the cheek to say my post was lowering the tone with personal insults and name calling

Oh the irony indeed!

[PodgeBod]

And I make that comment as somebody who has pulled up a mother who was letting her kid kick my seat before. There was no need for it.

[53rdWay]

You weren't wrong to tell the child to stop. As you say you're a calm person who doesn't like confrontation, though, maybe leave off the "if you don't parent your child I will" comment next time?

[WorraLiberty]

"If you won't parent your children I will", could well have got you a punch in the face in my area of London.

If you don't like confrontation, my advice is to speak to people without using such confrontational language.

[RebornSlippy]

@Ropsley, erm, where exactly have I personally insulted or name called in that?

[JuicyStrawberry]

Well they could have always used a phone or iPad?

Just sayin.

[SilverySurfer]

You did the right thing OP - why should you put up with that sort of behaviour. Personally I have developed a death stare which seems to stop children in their tracks at ten paces

[Ropsleybunny]

@Reborn you said, directed to the OP:
Yeah, you were totally being unreasonable. Who do you think you are? "If you won't parent your children, I will." WTF?!

Get over yourself.

I wouldn't have said that your post was exactly complimentary towards the OP.

Yet you pulled me up for personal insults and name calling, you hypocrite

What I actually posted was:

I think you did the right thing OP. Some of the comments you've received on here are from twats, so just ignore them.

I didn't say which comments were from twats, so hardly personal, however, you must think I meant you, I can't think why

[RebornSlippy]

@Ropsley I think that's what they call clutching at straws! Lets break this down, nice and simple.

You called 'some' of the posters here twats. That's name calling and insulting to those you directed it at. And yes, of course I think you meant me! It doesn't take a genious to figure out that 'twats' referred to me and anyone else who didn't agree with the OP. So yeah, I find being called a twat both personal and insulting. You know, since you meant me personally. Or did I misunderstand?

Asking the OP who she thinks she is to approach a stranger and announce 'if you won't parent, I will' is neither an insult or name calling. That is my reaction to a thread she posted in AIBU. A thread she posted asking for opinion. I gave mine.

You, on the other hand, threw unwarranted insults at me and others here. You offered nothing else to the thread actually. Just an insult. A pretty lame one at that. Pointless, rude and ironic considering the theme of the thread relates to bad manners. Yet you wade in with the kind of manners that would most likely provoke a dressing down from the OP on a bus. Would you agree with her if you were on the receiving end I wonder?

Give it up. Seriously. You're wrong.

[Ohyesiam]

Op for PM;
I wish more people had balls. Well done

[brasty]

Of course you were right to say something.

[Ropsleybunny]

@Reborn

I can't even be bothered with reading your post.

I think the OP did the right thing. Yes OP for PM!

[RebornSlippy]

@Ropsley, come on now, of course you read it. Actually, I bet you read it a couple of times and you have no answer. You know, what with being wrong and all

Have a lovely evening.

[HappyintheHills]

Telling off the child seems fair enough.

Telling off the mother doesn't seem so fair.

I would have asked the child to stop. It's surprising how often it works and the mother is grateful.

It takes a village...

[YouRat]

Good for you OP. the mother was obviously useless.

[BroomHandledMouser]

there's a few of your type here

Which type is that then @Reborn?

Oh I see...the type that think it's important for children to grow up with awareness for others around them?

YANBU op, well done for saying so. Too many people shy away from pulling people up on - quite simply - piss poor parenting at times.

[missmollyhadadolly]

YANBU OP. Seems like there a lot of passive people on MN (excluding those with anxiety issues).

I would have done the same as you.

How dare you not put up with being harassed for as long as you bloody had to?!

[SerfTerf]

"If you won't parent your children, I will" is what tipped you over into completely smug and unreasonable twattery.

Other than that, you might have had a point.

But you wrecked it by completely overdramatising.

[missmollyhadadolly]

I think the people saying YABU are either

1. similar in parenting style to the entitled woman on the bus
   
2. threatened by a woman who stands up for herself when they wouldn't have the guts to do it themselves (again, those with anxiety issues are excluded from this)

[SerfTerf]

YANBU OP. Seems like there a lot of passive people on MN (excluding those with anxiety issues).

Yes it's a subset of the "passive people", such as the OP, who make a complete dog's dinner of speaking up calmly, assertively and proportionately. Probably because they're not used to doing so, get all internally het up and then overdo it.

[SerfTerf]

No missmolly, it's the opposite. Confident women can handle situations assertively without going all telenovela about it

[RebornSlippy]

@BroomHandled

The type that would come out with such a superior and self-righteous statement as "If you won't parent, I will". There is most definitely a lot of this type on Mumsnet. This thread is proof of that.

It would have been sufficient to say to the 3 year old directly, "please stop doing that".

Saying what the OP did to the woman she presumes is their mother (who actually knows?), she lost my support and agreement, therefore, I consider her unreasonable. It's allowed you know, we don't all have to agree all the time. It just so happens, I don't agree in this instance.

Hope that clears it up for you.

[SerfTerf]

It would have been sufficient to say to the 3 year old directly, "please stop doing that".

Which is what sensibly people do every day.

Doesn't have the "legend in my own lunch hour" drama llama appeal that some people are after, though