To tell this mum off?

[Potterhead113]

I was on a long bus journey in central London yesterday (35 minutes) and a woman and two children got on (aged 6 and 3) and sat Behind me. After 2 minutes the 3 year old proceeded to jump up and down and scream and hit my chair. After less than 5 minutes of this I turned around and asked the mum to get the child to stop as it was annoying me and the screaming was annoying an elderly lady down the bus. 10 minutes later and the child is still doing it and mum is doing nothing. I turned around again and said 'if you won't parent your children I will' and I told the child nicely to please stop. The child stopped for the rest of their journey. The mum made noises and muttered the whole time about how rude I was and how I obviously must hate children (I don't)
WIBU?

[SerfTerf]

Sensible^

[youaredeluded]

Wow. "If you won't parent I will!". What sort of smug, self-righteous arsehole would really say that? Far enough talk to mum and child. But what you did was cunty. Just rude and spiteful.

[SuperPug]

Sure, let everyone else suffer because you can't parent effectively.
Just like the kids I saw today who were kicking trees, climbing a fence to terrorise wildlife and screaming. With a mum who couldn't be bothered to do anything...
Really don't get why the OP should have moved.

[SuperPug]

Hmmm....should add that the first sentence is not to anyone in this thread, just some general horrible behaviour that other people have to endure.

[kali110]

Yanbu at all.
Kicking the back of my seat is very painful for me, i probably wouldn't have had much patience with her either.
As for 'you should have moved' oh yes, the op gets her seat kicked whilst mother does nothing but she should move good one.

[BroomHandledMouser]

@Reborn

Thanks so much for clearing that up for me.

Have a lovely evening Hun xx

[SerfTerf]

But kali and super, what is wrong with "Please stop kicking my seat"?

What did all the AmDram "telling mum off" shenanigans add?

[RebornSlippy]

@Broom

Aw, you too luv! This has been... lovely. Lets do it again. Soon. Who knows, we might even agree somewhere along the way. Just keep your unsolicited parenting advice to yourself you wee minx!

Toodle pips xxx

[Shopkinsdoll]

You were quite right. You gave the mother a chance to tell the child off, obviously she thought this was acceptable behaviour. You dealt with the situation very well

[missmollyhadadolly]

The mum got a 'calm, assertive, proportionate' response the first time her child was messing around. It had no effect.

I can total understand why OP lost patience and said what she did to the child. The child's behaviour was impacting OP directly so she was within her rights to say something to both the adult and the child.

If OP had told the woman 'If you won't parent your child, I will' before speaking up to protest once before, then that would have been unreasonable.

I do find it weird that anytime there are times a woman is assertive in public, lots of people on MN immediately try and shut her down.

[splendide]

I presume you've made up the bit about telling the mum that you'll parent her child. Or you're fibbing about not liking conflict.

Anyway YANBU to ask a kid to stop kicking your seat. You are a massive bellend if you said the other bit.

[RiverTam]

Worra you make it sound like that punch would have been justified. It wouldn't. Sounds like you live among thugs.

OP, I don't think you were wrong to tell the child to stop, but you're opening gambit wasn't the best, I would have gone more with 'well, if you're not going to tell her to stop then I will'.

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

This is why the continent is better for children as strangers WILL tell off misbehaving children rather then entitled parents thinking only they have the right to discipline children and has the knock on effect of them being more tolerated

Well said

I've often mentioned the popular continental attitude towards disciplining others' kids, and been told I'm BU to suggest anyone trying the same here would get flamed

So it's been interesting to see some of the responses here ...

[Buck3t]

you should have moved

And that is what is wrong with this country's attitude to and from children.

Presumably those who would have moved, would have eaten a sandwich after refusing it, to be polite MN is so curious.

[DailyMailReadersAreThick]

Filing this in the "shit that didn't happen" folder.

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

I'm unsure. TBH. Absolutely if someone else tells them. They might learn. However you don't know the back story. The child through no fault of his own or his mums could have behavioral issues.
The mother could be depressed. She could be at the end of her tether and just given up.
Also I'm only going to say this once because. I feel I have to were yours Saints.

[Underberg]

I think asking the child to stop without making the comment about 'parenting' the children (actually only the one child, the other one wasn't doing anything) would have been fine. The comment was unnecessarily smug and dickish, and I'm wondering whether you ACTUALLY said it other than in your head because for someone who says they don't like confrontation it's pretty OTT

[PantPlot]

Best First Response

[SuperPug]

I don't say anything if this happens tbh. Because I'm aware of the abuse other people have received and it's not worth the other.
But the OP did ask politely the first time and it's possible to be at the end of your tether. Surely the mum of the boy who was kicking the chair and pretty much ignoring it isn't exactly blameless?

[woodhill]

Why couldn't the mum stop her dc in the 1st place. OP shouldn't have to put up with her seat being kicked.

[llangennith]

Good for you OP! I'd have done similar but probably not so nicely

[LoyaltyAndLobster]

you should have moved

Exactly that, reason being I wouldn't have wanted to get into any confrontation with a mother who clearly isn't able to "control" her children.

[kali110]

She was nice first, the mother did nothing.
I'm also not the confrontational type, however i'd lose it if someone was repeatedly kicking my seat after being asked not too

[AwaywiththePixies27]

In Potterheads first OP


I turned around and asked the Mum to get the child to stop".

Think some people are missing that bit.

[AwaywiththePixies27]

So because someone's little darling is kicking the shit out the back of your chair and the mum isn't doing anything about it; people should just suck it up and move seats?