AIBU to not understand MRA

[ANewAlias]

I get that in the past women have had it tougher than men in most cultures.

This isn't the case anymore. Men / boys are facing their own challenges yet the term MRA is an insult. Is it because it's been hi-jacked in a similar way to the flag of St George has? If so, what is an unloaded alternative?

If it isn't hi-jacked, why is it used as an insult?

I'm not trying to goad. I just want a balanced answer which Google hasn't provided and I'm not sure any part of MN would either.

...and are still considered the main party responsible to provide for their families

No they're not. They can fuck off and then people generally expect the state to pay. They refuse to pay child maintenance and think it's unfair. Unless they are on quite a high income, the state pays the majority (including the v economical childcare option of the mother, rather than the man having to pay for 24/7 childcare...)

I am happy to be "labelled" a feminist because I am one. I don't think the word is a massive red flag for the majority of people.

The expression "MRA" is tainted for me. I had a look at MGTOW and RedPill and thought, yuk, I would not like to meet any of those people in real life.

Proper campaigners for mens issues do exist I am sure and good for them. Although I don't think he is a campaigner as such I liked reading some of Grayson Perry's thoughts on masculinity and I see that his TV series about it is still available to watch. I know that William Hague and Angelina Jolie specifically addressed the issue of male rape victims in their wider campaign against the use of rape as a weapon of war and good for them- it did not detract from the rest of their efforts (the majority of rape victims in warzones being female of course).

Lots of male athletes for example do great work with boys in disadvantaged areas.

But they are not MRAs. And I haven't seen any women criticise them.

Yes, I mean women in England. I'm well travelled and have lived on most continents but my life has mostly been being a British woman.

Chinny reckon.

Seriously, I have no issue with people campaigning for change for issues that affect men. I applaud them. Where is this equality we've apparently achieved?! (we've come a long way, yes. All the way? No)
Why is feminist a red flag to op?
MRA's are denigrated because their primary concern is subjugating women using the excuse of equality - feminism fought for women to have the same opportunities as men - MRA's fight to remove women's rights to increase men's rights...

But why do you care if it's used as an insult? You don't think it is, so what does it matter? I'd be ashamed to be associated in any way with any MRA (for the numerous reasons listed here) but you're not, so crack on.

I am involved in a literacy scheme targeted at boys. This does not mean I am a MRA!

Now it's all been explained to op I am sure they understand.

I'm confused at how you can say that you "are not trying to goad" but at the same time try to say that "it isn't the case anymore" whilst I am reading how women are still paid less than men are, women are constantly facing sexual assault from men and the fact that women are constantly treated in a derogatory way by men. Men's Rights Activists do not fight for men's rights, they want to keep their male privilege in place. I as a man wouldn't mind seeing male privilege be removed as I find privilege to be a disturbing feature of today's society.

I do think that there is a terrible crisis in masculinity in the west, hence so many children suddenly being identified as being transgender, because it has become a medical issue that a fourYO boy plays with a buggy, or a tea set, and seen as an actual medical issue, rather than a 4yo mimicking the grownups around him, and exploring his environment.
The polarisation of gender roles helps no-one.

But I haven't seen any (self-identity) MRAs discussing this, or suggesting solutions, do you have some links perhaps?

Grayson Perry addresses those issues haba, but he isn't an MRA. MRA's seem more concerned with false rape accusations and the fact that women are given custody of the children they care for 90% of the time.

Thing is, there are many excellent grass-roots schemes aimed at helping men - the Men's Shed Movement (allowing men to make friends and gain emotional support in a non-threatening environment built round shared hobbies), literacy schemes like the one Bert takes part in (my workplace gives people time off for this - particularly for boys, seeing a male role model who's done well in life, and likes books, and is prepared to spend an hour or so a week reading with them in school, can be a transformative experience), charities like Help for Heroes and the Army Benevolent fund (because up until very recently, only men served on the front line, so combat-related PTSD was much more a male issue - I regularly do "gigs" for the ABF), Mankind working with men who've suffered from DV (again, something I care about, having had a relative and an ex boyfriend who'd both been on the receiving end of DV in their lives).

MRAs on the other hand don't actually do anything constructive about any of the above - they just spend their time whinging that all their problems are the fault of women in general and feminists in particular. And they do lovely things like threatening violence and rape and threatening to DOXX women online.

Out of interest, does anyone know how MRA's view Same sex couples, particularly male? It seems a somewhat heteronormative movement

some feminists want all men dead.

Really? Shall we compare bodycounts? Do feminists walk into universities, line up the male engineers against a wall and shoot them? Do they plan mass shootings in frat houses because those men won't shag them? Do they specifically target women in acid attacks?

For a movement that supposedly wants "all men dead" it's not very successful is it?!

Egregiious - that's an interesting question, isn't it? Back in the 70s, there were lesbian separatist feminists, and a whole group of feminists discussed the possibility of "political lesbianism" - women who might be drawn to heterosexual relationships choosing to renounce them on political grounds because society as it was actually structured made a heterosexual relationship of equals an impossibility.

But as far as I can see, even the MGTOW brigade still want women around the place - to clean for them, and to use to masturbate into. They just don't want to have to acknowledge that those women are human beings.

OP, do you now see the difference between someone who terms themself an MRA and someone who campaigns for men/boys who are disadvantaged?

MRAs are chauvinist men who are bitter about women. They often (covertly or overly) complain about lack of sex. Unsurprisingly.

Thanks damnde,, I will Google what he's said.

And, I think you'll find there's only three nations in the world where women have it equal to men, equal, not better.

Where are those mythical utopias where there is no more male on female rape than female on male rape, where all men do their equal share of household chores and childcare and where there is no wage gap?
Where are those nations where men do not murder women at a much higher rate than women ever kill men?

I would like to live there. Where are they?

(No criticism of you, I know what you meant to say, but ... we do not really have equality. Anywhere.)

ANewAlias?

Coo-eeee! Are you there?

The meninist page is just full of men saying they're fighting for men's rights which the 'feminazis' ignore ... and then go on to show how they believe those rights include a right to have sex even if women say no, a right to be respected.
They're typical of those who feel marginalised and like their lives are awful when society is saying it's all about 'white male power' ... but they're white males who don't see themselves as having any power. So they imagine they are owed it ... and who owes them it? The women who reject them apparently.

Also I wouldn't say most people I know refuse the label of feminist because of its newer meaning ... most men and women I know accept and own the label.
mRAs would call those men 'betas' and insist they are slaves to women.

Wow. It sure is a busy day for the hairy-handed.

Practically ever country in the world has a male leader and a majority male government. Nearly all the biggest companies in the world are run by men. Most health authorities are men. Most policy makers are men. If men want to make the world better for men, there is absolutely nothing stopping them. They could just do it. But they don't. They just complain that women aren't doing it for them

Did op specify which right s/he felt men were lacking?