To be so fucked off with my toddlers behaviour

[cassiebabie]

My toddler has just tried to head butt my partner after being told off for hitting and trying to kick.
He seems angry a lot of time. Will hit for no reason, scream if he doesn't get his own way.
Can be walking down the street and if you don't take his hand he will just stop and start screaming like a banshee. Then he will run at you, hurting himself more. If you don't acknowledge him he will scratch or bite you
I've just had to turn tv off as he is on his bike purposly crashing into things like his table or his sister's bouncer.
I'm so fucking fed up of being in tears at this behaviour. Is it normal? What can I do please

This is an old thread!!!

get him to play outside, show lots of love, patience. No one told you motherhood was awful? I hear your cry. Sounds awful.

Naughty corner- can you come up with some new methods.

When my second one was born, my three year old became very difficult. At the end of my tether, I was taught something called Watch, Wait and Wonder. I was initially sceptical but it really did have an amazing impact. The basis of it is to spend 20 minutes a day focused on the older child, and crucially, during this 20 minutes, let them set the agenda. The first two or three days, DS1 always chose the same thing: to get into his bed with me, and cuddle for 20 minutes. The next day, he asked to have a bath with me. When I reported back to the therapists, they were delighted, they said that he was re-establishing the bond that he obviously felt had been disrupted by the arrival of his brother. That 20 minutes a day was the best investment I ever made: DS1s behaviour improved immediately and dramatically.

Some of the advice above is great and I don't have much to add except it does pass. We had some interesting issues with one of my older kids in the earlier days. What did halp was not losing it. I found when I lost it ie shouting getting down and being really in his face giving out to himor just punishing by taking something away made everything go on longer. The times I kept/could keep it together(it's hard!!!)and talked to him, doing the 'what if I did that to you thing and then got away from the subject by asking him to help me/talking to him about something etc, he was quicker to be good. It's an awful age because reasoning doesn't help half the time, but so much praise when he's good, and plenty of time with just the two of you or just your partner and him and then incorporating his sister in too and loads and loads of praise. basically just a very calm, happy household and he'll chill out a bit (hopefully!). By the way the bold step/time out has never ever worked for us. Ever! Good luck

I think the poor child is bored.
Wrap them up and go for a walk, which will do all three of you good.
I am adult and it drives me crazy being in the house 24/7, think about the child.
Whilst you are walking, he will be riding his bike, could be around the neighbourhood which gives him fresh air and something to look forward to daily.

I would not be having any child throwing their toys/bike at my furniture that I paid good money for.

I think you should examine his diet - some foods can make you very angry. Examine what he watches on TV. When he gets angry, you should remove him from the area to a quiet place and look at him in the eyes to start setting boundaries. Or you could act out what he has done and ask him if it is acceptable. He's only a toddler and should be able to be tamed. What does he like most? If he doesn't behave, warn him that his treat will be taken away and 3 strikes he will be out. Ask him what makes him angry please.

I KNOW that what I'm going to say, is a bit controversial and some might think me a 'Bully/Abuser', but I would bite back- no really. He may know that he Bites others but does he know, what it feels like, to be bitten by someone? What I'm getting to here, is that the 'Naughty Step, or time Out' approach doesn't necessarily make the child aware of how his action FEEL to others.

As I said maybe NOT the 'done thing', these days but perhaps worth a try? Yes he may, very well, cry but, if this works, only the once.

Whatever you decide, good luck.

Andrew