Hate bloody MAN HOBBIES

[1wokeuplikethis]

My husband has one of those expensive hobbies (LTB immediately, I know) which takes him off for nearly a whole day at a weekend if he wants wants to fully embrace it. I encourage it because what's good for him is good for us and he is wholely supportive of me getting some hobby to do (I don't have any, can't think of any, my hobby is spending time as a family).

As a SAHM to a 4 & 1 year old (who don't go to nursery) and with a husband who works full time 9-5, I actually dread these weekends because it cuts into our family time massively and it's more of me doing the same thing I do every day of the week (clue: being run ragged). I was supportive of him taking up the hobby because I love him basically. But my teeth are hurtin from gritting them as I say 'oh this weekend? Yeah no problem' and acting breezy. I have told him how I feel and he is considerate aka doesn't go every single weekend & gives me plenty of notice and we do things as a family the rest of the weekend.

I just don't like it!

It's interesting how men with these hobbies claim that they need to spend a lot of time on them to improve/do it seriously, make it "worth it" or whatever.

Also, I disagree with the idea that "what's good for him is good for us". NotThere are plenty selfish men who

which men Loopy? i've not heard that before?

I'm a SAHM and I absent myself from most evenings (to go to the gym or a class or the cinema) and weekends (I go hiking, or meet with friends, or cycling, or to see exhibitions.)

Well, you're not at home then, are you? It sounds like you are living off your DH money, and even though he is working, he is also looking after the children every evening and at weekends. He must be knackered, the poor sod.

Hissy The OP doesn't want free time. The OP wants her DH to give up his hobby in order to do hers.

Boak at 'family time' being a fucking 'hobby'!

my hobby is spending time as a family

Then what's the problem? You're getting to do your hobby and he's getting to do his.

Huskylover1 did you not know SAHMs are allowed out the house

I'm a woman AND a mother AND I have a hobby which sometimes takes all day at the weekend. I obviously missed the memo that hobbies are for men.

If my DH asked me to stop because it really bothered him I'd respect that, but I'd also be really sad. He doesn't have a hobby but he does spend a lot more time down the pub than I do

As an aside, I love how online you can call it a hobby. In real life I have never heard anyone use that word. Or at least not since I was about eight!

josh absolutely! no problem then is there...

Only ltb if the hobby is cycling.

Lolling at spa day dame

Can I extoll the virtues of hobbies that children take an interest in? My DP has taken up a hobby prompted by the DCs. This holiday they have done it a fair bit an I have managed to read a novel which I crave but never can concentrate on

DH hobbies on own requiring weekends = baaaad idea.

MineKraftCheese You may drink your weak lemon drink......................now!

OP I know your children are young so looking after them must take a lot of time and energy. But I find it quite sad that you cannot think of any interests that you might pursue. Is there nothing you've ever wished you could try?

If you're looking for a hobby/interest how about a class of some kind? When DC2 was a baby DW took up a geology evening class, and loved it.

Off topic but RandomDent and MineKraftCheese it's nice to find some other Fist of Fun fans!

Right, thank you. I feel like I need to invest a bit of time in thinking/researching what is going on around me that I might like to do or get involved in. It would be good for me to get out. Over the past 5 years I've lost a lot of confidence and as a result identity other than being a mum. I've become very introverted & struggle to make conversation sometimes with my friends outside of my kids, telly, diets etc.

I've not wanted a hobby but the advice on here has made me feel that actually it would do me good. And I hadn't thought about the importance of the kids having alone time with just their dad too.

Hmm. I used to love netball but haven't played for about 20 years (or exercised for about ten) is it still bitchy?
Anyway, yes. Need to have a bit of a think and suppose, be less clingy to my family? Although up until now I really didn't think that was a bad thing!

I read fairly recently that netball is undergoing a resurgence in women who used to play when younger but stopped and have gone back after a number of years.
I think that looking into joining a team is a really great idea, I hope there's some near you .

Get a hobby you loon! You have correctly identified how healthy it is for him, why are you being blind about the benefits to you?

And put your kids in bloody nursery at least one day a week to give yourself a life. If he doesn't like that he can give up his hobby.

Everyone needs to exist as something more than a parent. It is healthy for body and mind.

He shouldn't have to give up his hobby just because you don't have one.

Netball is absolutely perfect. Go for it.

Were you at school last time you played? Could your perception that 'netball is bitchy' just be that there were some mean girls that played. Hopefully they will have grown out of it by now.

It's weird how many men take up time consuming hobbies when they've got young kids

My DH currently has 4 'hobbies' - the more I ask him to cut down the more he seems to acquire

I am very resentful - but all I am told is get a hobby of your own.

Well I would like my hobby to be sitting reading books or bingeing on box sets - but apparently that's not good enough as it's not out of the house!!!