Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Swimming party in private pool...should parents stay?

198 replies

Witsender · 08/08/2017 12:04

Very outing but hey ho.

Having a swimming party for daughter at my parents' house at the weekend. When we invited her friends we specifically said that it is a private pool, no lifeguards and that parents are responsible and should bring all swim aids etc.

When I messaged today to tell people the address and ask numbers for food (invited whole family as know it is the weekend and we need adults etc) and one mum replied to say she would just be dropping off and be back later.

Kids are 6/7.

I can't decide if I am comfortable or not? There will be lots of adults there, but I am uncertain of taking the responsibility for another child in a busy setting when I have two to watch already.

What does the MN massive think?

OP posts:
frieda909 · 08/08/2017 12:06

Did you specifically ask for parents to stay?

ASDismynormality · 08/08/2017 12:07

I knows it's late notice but could you hire a lifeguard ?

LadyInTheCaravan · 08/08/2017 12:07

Don't take it on, there was a newspaper article recently about a little girl drowning at a pool party. Tell the parents they are responsible for their own kids behaviour & safety around water.

Original poster
Witsender · 08/08/2017 12:08

We did, we asked parents to stay due to the nature of the party. I have no idea if the girl can swim.

It isn't a massive party, so with parents there a lifeguard is unnecessary.

OP posts:
Flowersandfootballs · 08/08/2017 12:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Witsender · 08/08/2017 12:10

I'm struggling because I am feeling a bit judgy about it tbh.

OP posts:
Flowersandfootballs · 08/08/2017 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 08/08/2017 12:10

I think it's not a v good party for that age in a private setting. Not to mention varied water skills etc.

I'd consider it at 10 but too young at 6. We had some of dds friends over for a swim (just 2 of them and one was 8 and the other was 6) and it was a total nightmare. Especially because they got over excited with the novelty of the pool which led to risky behaviour.

Won't be repeating without parents for quite a while

Original poster
Witsender · 08/08/2017 12:11

And there isn't time to hire a lifeguard...the party is on Saturday. And tbh, it is unnecessary with the number of adults there. No booze etc. I just feel that parents should have responsibility for their child.

OP posts:
stonecircle · 08/08/2017 12:11

Could you do a rota for adults so you always have one or two on watch? Maybe short shifts (20 mins?) so attention doesn't wander and when they're 'on duty' they really are on duty and shouldn't allow themselves to be distracted?

Rainbowqueeen · 08/08/2017 12:11

I wouldn't expect you to host a pool party unless you were prepared to handle looking after all the kids and keep them safe. Having said that, I wouldn't leave my child there unless I was confident in their swimming abilities.

So on the fence here.

As far as logistics go, I think you should ask your parents to watch your own kids and you should watch the guest. And your DH should be in charge of food, drinks, people not in the pool

Original poster
Witsender · 08/08/2017 12:12

We have done it before and it has been completely fine, with parents there. The pool has proper steps into it, not ladders and a shallow shallow end.

OP posts:
GU24Mum · 08/08/2017 12:12

Just tell her that her daughter is welcome to the party but if the parents can't stay then you won't be able to let her go into the pool unsupervised unless she can make an arrangement with someone else's parents that they (not you) will be responsible for the girl.

BattleaxeGalactica · 08/08/2017 12:12

You've already made it clear what the rules are. Message her back. No parent, no stay.

It's very easy and quick for a kid to slip under the water unnoticed. It's even happened when parents have been present but momentarily distracted.

Original poster
Witsender · 08/08/2017 12:14

That's what I'm worried about. All the people invited are family friends as well as just school friends, so we all just muck in and know the drill. I just feel this is a bit cheeky.

OP posts:
Ilovefraybentos · 08/08/2017 12:14

I agree with messaging her back and saying no. You've told them no drop offs.

flickertee · 08/08/2017 12:14

We have a pool in our house, I have had DS friends round but only three or four maximum at the same time in the pool and they're all strong swimmers. I wouldn't be comfortable asking all the parents to stay to be honest. And if you've decided to have a pool party then surely you take on the responsibility to ensure the children are safe. So either hire a life guard or cancel the pool party.

MaisyPops · 08/08/2017 12:14

I'd be more irritated about the way the parent has done to rather than the fact they want to leave.

You've asked parents to stay, what everyone decided just to drop and run like that parent?

If there was a reason then u think she should have called to see if their child can still attend/would another adult mind keeping an eye. Otherwise they should really have declined.

Questioningeverything · 08/08/2017 12:14

I'd reply
I made it clear in invite that due to it being a pool party in a family members home a parent needs to stay as we cannot supervise people's children. Can you please confirm an adult will be staying with your dd otherwise I'm afraid she won't be able to attend.

No way would I send my dc to a pool party and not expect to stay.

flickertee · 08/08/2017 12:15

How many children are going to be there?

PuppyMonkey · 08/08/2017 12:15

If you just put something like "parents are responsible and should bring along swim aids etc" , I think that could possibly be a little wishy washy. Like you're saying "you can leave them with us at your own risk."

Sounds like a nightmare idea to me, sorry can't stand swimming parties.

NapQueen · 08/08/2017 12:16

I would just reply

"Due to the fact its happening at a swimming pool this isnt a drop off party. Please could you confirm how many adults will be coming with X and Y?"

Rainbowqueeen · 08/08/2017 12:16

Ok slow typer here! If you asked parents to stay it is different.

Is she genuinely not able to stay and doesn't want her child to miss out? And thinks you will have enough adults to cover it?

Original poster
Witsender · 08/08/2017 12:16

I'm quite happy with our choice to have the party there tbh, it was made quite clear what the deal was at the time of invitation. My query was more whether it was the norm to leave kids at this sort of thing.

OP posts:
NotLachsAgainMother · 08/08/2017 12:16

I don't know if you've seen the reports in the news recently about a child who drowned at a pool party, I think it was last summer? She was about that age.

I personally think you can't be too careful when it comes to children and water. And the more people around, the more dangerous it is (everybody thinks that someone else is watching).