Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Swimming party in private pool...should parents stay?

198 replies

Witsender · 08/08/2017 12:04

Very outing but hey ho.

Having a swimming party for daughter at my parents' house at the weekend. When we invited her friends we specifically said that it is a private pool, no lifeguards and that parents are responsible and should bring all swim aids etc.

When I messaged today to tell people the address and ask numbers for food (invited whole family as know it is the weekend and we need adults etc) and one mum replied to say she would just be dropping off and be back later.

Kids are 6/7.

I can't decide if I am comfortable or not? There will be lots of adults there, but I am uncertain of taking the responsibility for another child in a busy setting when I have two to watch already.

What does the MN massive think?

OP posts:
EWAB · 08/08/2017 13:53

What I would be worried about here is because it is a private party people will take the piss and rather than worry about people dropping and running you should be worrying that they will see it as an opportunity for the entire family to go swimming. You will get two parents and they will shove a sibling into the mix. I don't know what would be worse in this scenario, older siblings or toddler ones.
I know people do this especially if they think the host is quite well off.

EWAB · 08/08/2017 13:53

What I would be worried about here is because it is a private party people will take the piss and rather than worry about people dropping and running you should be worrying that they will see it as an opportunity for the entire family to go swimming. You will get two parents and they will shove a sibling into the mix. I don't know what would be worse in this scenario, older siblings or toddler ones.
I know people do this especially if they think the host is quite well off.

EWAB · 08/08/2017 13:53

What I would be worried about here is because it is a private party people will take the piss and rather than worry about people dropping and running you should be worrying that they will see it as an opportunity for the entire family to go swimming. You will get two parents and they will shove a sibling into the mix. I don't know what would be worse in this scenario, older siblings or toddler ones.
I know people do this especially if they think the host is quite well off.

EWAB · 08/08/2017 13:53

What I would be worried about here is because it is a private party people will take the piss and rather than worry about people dropping and running you should be worrying that they will see it as an opportunity for the entire family to go swimming. You will get two parents and they will shove a sibling into the mix. I don't know what would be worse in this scenario, older siblings or toddler ones.
I know people do this especially if they think the host is quite well off.

EWAB · 08/08/2017 13:53

What I would be worried about here is because it is a private party people will take the piss and rather than worry about people dropping and running you should be worrying that they will see it as an opportunity for the entire family to go swimming. You will get two parents and they will shove a sibling into the mix. I don't know what would be worse in this scenario, older siblings or toddler ones.
I know people do this especially if they think the host is quite well off.

EWAB · 08/08/2017 13:54

oh my God just flame me for posting a million times. Apologies.

EWAB · 08/08/2017 13:54

oh my God just flame me for posting a million times. Apologies.

EWAB · 08/08/2017 13:54

oh my God just flame me for posting a million times. Apologies.

EWAB · 08/08/2017 13:54

oh my God just flame me for posting a million times. Apologies.

VladmirsPoutine · 08/08/2017 14:02

EWAB Throw your phone out the window! Grin

Decaffstilltastesweird · 08/08/2017 14:06

EWAB Throw your phone out the window!

....then burn it ...and stage an exorcism Grin.

AtHomeDadGlos · 08/08/2017 14:23

Crickey there are a lot of judgy people on here.

YANBU to ask and expect the parents to stay. YANBU hosting a pool party - the kids will love it I'm sure (as long as it's not pissing down and cold!). The way (some) people have reacted you'd have thought you were hosting a knife juggling party.

Have a good time.

Original poster
Witsender · 08/08/2017 14:25

I'm saving that for my son's 5th AtHome. Wink

OP posts:
Seniorcitizen1 · 08/08/2017 14:28

If parent cant/wont stay then children cant come - simple

SoupDragon · 08/08/2017 14:46

All this "hire a lifeguard" nonsense... what ever happened to parents taking responsibility for the safety of their own child?

Of parents weren't staying then yes, a dedicated lifeguard is a very good idea. However, parents are staying and thus should take responsibility for their child rather than hoping to palm ot off onto someone else.

Mayhemmumma · 08/08/2017 14:56

But you didn't specify an adult needed to stay, just they needed to provide armbands right? I wouldn't expect parents to stay at a private pool party as I'd assume you were taking responsibility of the children you invite like with any other party-i.e not inviting more that you can cope with.

I wouldn't leave my children as they're not strong swimmers so I'd offer to help but I wouldn't assume all parents would stay.

SoupDragon · 08/08/2017 15:15

I wouldn't expect parents to stay at a private pool party as I'd assume you were taking responsibility of the children you invite

Even when the invitation stated that parents are responsible?

Stratosfear · 08/08/2017 15:16
  1. Children do not need to be swimming to drown.
  2. Strong swimmers can and do drown.
  3. Training qualifications need to be up to date (rather than done in the past) legally.
  4. Having a parent there won't automatically absolve you from legal responsibility if anything happens I'm afraid.
CarolinePenvenen · 08/08/2017 15:41

Sounds like a fabulous party, bet it will be a big hit! As for the parents staying and being useless because they’re only watching their own child...well, that’s the point isn’t it? If they all watch their own child then Bob’s your Uncle! And with added life-guardy type people around it’ll all be fine. My 5yo would love it and she doesn’t swim yet.

VladmirsPoutine · 08/08/2017 15:43

Having a parent there won't automatically absolve you from legal responsibility if anything happens I'm afraid.

But it would in a moral perspective. The OP doesn't want a child to die on her watch. If the parent is there then that absolves the OP.

In these circumstances I'd say that all parents should stay.

Flowersandfootballs · 08/08/2017 15:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GinAndToast · 08/08/2017 15:50

Hire a lifeguard!

There is no way I'd do that in my pool otherwise. It's way too risky for that age group imo.

Stratosfear · 08/08/2017 15:51

Flowersandfootballs

A lifeguard, someone who is currently up-to-date with training would be better placed to save a life though.

(And probably not allow the food near the pool with children having sausages then swimming... One of the big drowning prevention points).

Mayhemmumma · 08/08/2017 16:01

But it sounded like parents are responsible for just providing arm bands? I would have made it much clearer. 'An adult must stay and be responsible for each child swimming'

Mittens1969 · 08/08/2017 16:06

I wouldn't do this myself, as there would be a risk of drowning, although a small risk, there are a lot of 6 and 7 year olds who can't swim. And children that age can be very silly.

It will be hard to make sure younger siblings don't come too and go into the pool.

I would find it far too stressful tbh.

Swipe left for the next trending thread