My neighbours are thick as fuck! I'm stuck in their house!

[squattingposition]

I can't even understood what's happened!! They've locked me in their house and set the alarm! What the fuck do I do now ???

Oh green that's what I wanted to post!

I am trying to work out where this village is. Clues so far; 90 miles away from the nearest city/cheeky nandos/slimmers world group, but close enough to civilisation to have a takeaway delivery and easy travelling distance of social coach station.

Btw, why to the octogenarians need you to pick up food from the village shop when they have a car?

Local, not social.

I am trying to work out where this village is. Clues so far; 90 miles away from the nearest city/cheeky nandos/slimmers world group, but close enough to civilisation to have a takeaway delivery and easy travelling distance of social coach station.

Also need 3G which would rule out 99% of the countryside around where I live. 😭

Scottish highlands, maybe? Though I doubt there'd be much 3G there... too mountainous.

I also live super remote, we don't even get take away delivered!!!

@GriefLeavesItsMark it's not a chuffing trolley full of a weekly shop! I've called past and asked if they would like bread or milk picking up. Apples , flour sometimes .....benylin cough medicine!

They don't go out In their car much and it's a waste of fuel to nip to the village for a couple of bits. It's not like you can bulk buy and store bread and milk from Costco is it?

We've not arranged as yet when to meet up again. We've not really said that any things happening just being very smiley and flirty I suppose around each other.

Oh and to answer the question about why was I In June's bedroom when I banged my head! We had gone up to pull out the airbeds from under their bed and when I stood up I banged my head on the edge of the exercise bike.

He slept in the spare room and me and my friend stayed on theeee most amazing blow up bed ever! It stayed up all night and I slept so well!

We were once staying in an air b&b which was one of two faults inside a building, and on the last day when we left we followed the instructions on the welcome packet to leave the keys on the table and to shut the door to our flat to lock it. Only then realising that the door to the building was locked and our key was attached to the key that we'd left on the table.
We were locked in a hallway without a toilet and a flight to catch.
Luckily the host was brilliant and came and rescued us in about half an hour but that feeling as we realised we were trapped was horrific.

@GriefLeavesItsMark oh and I was obviously joking about the takeaway surely you got that??

And the coach station isn't too far it's technically a bus station and mot garage/petrol station joined on.For the few of us out here that want to travel into the city it's much much cheaper to go by bus than waste fuel. Takes a little longer but the views are lovely come rain or shine.

Oh gosh is my face red! I must be the only person on this thread who didn't know you were joking about the take away! Honestly, I'm so gullible ! I believe everything I read on here!

@EveryDayANewName hence the consistency of my updates! June's house picked up signal pretty well ! My house has always been rubbish unless I sit on the bench outside my summer house at the end of the yard. Which is where I am now with a glass of wine and my book. When I go into the village I go to a friends cafe to catch up online, social media etc and that's where I work from too from my laptop and generally socialise and get lunch. Literally spend around 4 hours some days there. I don't know how I ever coped without the internet! The rest of my work doesn't require internet at home though and to be honest I find it's distracting anyway to me getting on with my job or other things that's why I like it out here. I go away too twice a year for about 3-4 weeks at a time travelling to and from clients in other countries.

Was it an aerobed thingy? I want one of those! Random question, I know - but in light of this whole thread, why not ask!!!!

And before anyone asks , I get June's milk after I've finished my work on the laptop, I don't spend 4 hours with milk going warm in a bag next to my feet

@cailisto I'm not sure what it was but I'm bloody close to swopping my saggy double bed for one permanently!

Was it one that had a automatic pump thing, so it inflates itself? They look bloody cool! I want one but don't like the thought of it making promises it can't keep! (

And yes I'm envious of you sitting in your summer house when all I have is a shed that's falling apart and held together with glue, nails and hope) but I'm suppressing those feelings in order to ascertain the aerobeddiness (it's a real word, honest...) of the mattress!

Hahaha @GriefLeavesItsMark your in the same boat as me then! I feel ridiculous after all this! Glad it's all happened though I think I've made some good friends In them I can't believe how amazing they've been with me and George staying over and things. Although I do think it might have been to do with me riding home on my bike after a glass of wine maybe? Then again he or my friend could have taken me home in that case. It was a very innocent night though

So do I ask him for another cheeky Nando's?

Although this maybe where the 'cheeky' comes from when people say that ! because to be fair it's a pretty long round trip and after fuel cost and Nando's it will be very fucking cheeky I suppose

Why not?! If he's willing then he's def interested as it's not exactly a quick trip down the road!

I couldn't tell you to be honest @cailisto as he said he had sorted it while me and my friend went outside for a cig and a chat before bed. I will try find out for u though haha

Only I could turn this into a chat about Beds!!!! Ha ha! I'm off to try to sleep and dream of comfy mattresses. I def think you should make George take you out again!

Those aerobed things are a bit rubbish. What they don't tell you is that it isn't breathable, so is like sleeping on an incontinence sheet, and you end up lying in south pool of your own sweat.

OP, what job do you do that allows working from something laptop and international travel? Is it multilevel marketing #bossbabe (I am guessing it isn't internationally renowned writer!)

I might message him tommorrow or purposely drown the fish so he HAS to come back over and nip me on the same round trip to Pets at home on the same retail park for more fish 😂

Plot twist -I say goodnight to mumsnet and go to the house to get ready for bed only to realise I've locked myself out du du durrrrrr!!!

This is also a lie @GriefLeavesItsMark

I've loved this thread. Thanks, OP.

I'm afraid my job would probably out me for good to be honest and I'm so scared about what mumsnet has said about the daily mail stealing posts as it wouldn't be very constructive for my career!!!

We slept In it fine but had a thick mattress protector laid on top and a sheet so don't know if that helps

Your welcome @PrincessFiorimonde I shall keep you all updated if me and George meet again!