My neighbours are thick as fuck! I'm stuck in their house!

[squattingposition]

I can't even understood what's happened!! They've locked me in their house and set the alarm! What the fuck do I do now ???

Didn't June ring the landline to contact OP when they realised she was stuck in the house?

I don't find peeing on the lawn remotely unbelievable by the way - I have to pee constantly, with no access to the toilet she didn't have much choice.

But why on earth did all three of you stay the night? Did you have a threesome?!

They locked her in whilst on the loo then a while later remembered she was there?
Sounds unlikely doesn't it?

Bizarrely, that's the most likely thing about the whole episode, Pandora!

Because after being locked in a house, the first thing you do after being rescued, is stay in the house for a sleepover, with a stranger in poor June's bed uh huh

Well, it's been entertaining anyway. I didn't believe it. No-one is this absent minded or stupid.

A bit of light hearted fun after the week we've had is definitely needed

I can believe it. I just don't get why you stayed over? Did you at least chat for a while? You leave a lot of details and WHY's out.

Why I stayed over ..... because when he arrived all 3 of us got chatting. He made himself at home as he used to live there whilst he was renovating it so I'm guessing he usually comes and makes himself comfortable when he comes over. He's still doing some work for them and he was the one who was supposed to be building the Ikea flatpacks while they were away. He's been intouch with his grandparents who said that he is welcome to stay over and he told them we had had a drink and a natter and became friends. To be honest I take back calling them thick as they have turned out to be quite laid back . They raised him alone and he has repaid there love by doing this house up for them they are quite close knit family.
As for Nando's we are about 90 miles from the nearest city. We had a ride out for the day once we had sobered up from our hangovers.
The reason why I didnt use the landline to ring anyone as I didn't have anyone's number whilst my phone was dead. I knew the number obviously for the police but waited until my friend arrived until I decided to ring them as knowing my luck they might have put the keys in my bike basket I don't know!
June and Richard ring the house phone because once they found the envelope containing the key and alarm code on the coach they realise neither of them had shown me out and said goodbye. Then realising the last thing they knew was that I had called to the loo leading them to panic and ringing their own housephone to check if I was there!!
Yes it's unbelievable but I'm so glad it's all happened as me and their grandson have really hit it off! We are similar age and similar situation with our family background too.

Any more queries??

Any more queries?

Yes - when's the wedding!

So... your first date was at Nando's?

They locked you in on purpose, OP...
Just hope their grandson is not a serial killer.

Oh god @Lweji yes! What's wrong with that ? Funnily enough their wasn't a posh restaurant in the retail park ! Argh if it wasn't for the fact that I'm scared to death of being outed in the daily mail I'd post a load of photos to go with the story! 😩

I hope you've change June and Richards sheets dirty bastard.

Wow what an excellent novel story. 😮🙈

Does seem a bit far fetched .... however, for those of you questioning whether the couple would actually leave and lock her in and take the key... I can believe this! I used to work in a restaurant and we had a little old couple who would come in often. One day after they had left the lady rang from home to ask if her husband was still in restaurant as she couldn't find him when she got home.... turned out she had gone out of the front exit, he had gone down the stairs and out of the other exit. She had got in the waiting taxi and fucked off without him.
We had to send a search party to find him! Still don't know to this day how on earth she managed to lose him between the door and the taxi and didn't realise he wasn't in said taxi until she got home!!

So did you get the keys, what about the fish? are they outside fish or inside

OP must be the slowest cyclist in the world. How do you make friends with stationary people when you're cycling past?
She must be wobbling along at 0.5 MPH, and the neighbours permanently out right at the very front of their very large property for this to be remotely possible.

And why couldn't Georgie Boy feed the fish if he's going to be there assembling furniture anyway?

Maybe I'm gullible but I believe this and I've been really entertained by it.

Glad it's all turned out successfully for you OP and fingers crossed this is the start of a very happy relationship with George. If it that doesn't happen, please give him my number :)

I have no idea if this real or fake, I basically assume most of MN is trolls lately. However:

Finding it funny does not make some thick or pathetic or bit well read etc. Saying these things makes you a dick.

Secondly old people shopping at IKEA is not a 'hole' in the story. Nor is them eating a pot noodle

If they ate them twenty years ago, yes they'd still eat them now. There isn't an age limit for pot noodle!

Very good point.

THEFREAK about gorgeous George feeding the fish.

Presumably Georgie would only have needed one visit to build all the furniture whereas the fish need feeding more frequently.

I'm not seeing all the supposed holes in this story tbh. OP reminds me of a uni friend who something like this would definitely happen to!