My neighbours are thick as fuck! I'm stuck in their house!

[squattingposition]

I can't even understood what's happened!! They've locked me in their house and set the alarm! What the fuck do I do now ???

Meh I could believe it... When I was about 20 I worked for a big furniture company. After my colleague screwed up an order I was sent to a families house to build the furniture. Five beds, 8 bedside cabinets and 3 chests of drawers. Family hadn't moved in yet but when I arrived the two adult sons were there pottering around. I went downstairs to ask for a glass of water to find they had left and I was locked in.

Frantically phoned the customer (their dad) who explained he was in London working (I was in Scotland) and his sons should have left a key as they were going away. He phoned them, they hadn't remembered to leave key (didn't have to brain cells between them) and were on a train half way to Manchester by the time I had noticed they were gone. Their dad had to pay for an emergency locksmith to come let me out and then give me keys, so for two days I had the only keys to this families new house after a few scary hours being locked in.

Also had my partner accidentally lock me in our new house (took my car which has my house keys attached but still took his own bloody house keys) which I only discovered when the delivery of our new internal doors showed up. Had to ask the guy to leave them at our front door through the letterbox while frantically phoning partner.

This thread actually reminds me that I meant to get a spare key cut to leave in the house at all times in case of a repeat incident 😂

Once got locked in at work at the weekend, with a colleague I'd previously had a drunken one night stand with - awkward! Luckily I covered reception occasionally and knew where the caretaker's number was kept, or it'd have been a leap out of the window and possible broken ankle.
Friend got locked in Sainsbury's recently. No idea how :D

You're going to really hit it off and just as he's about to invite you to stay the night/jet off to Maui with him/marry him on the spot, he's going to see that you called his grandparents "thick as fuck" and call the whole thing off.

So are you out now or..?

I rescued a colleague from being locked in an ensuite bathroom in an empty care home - he was there an hour before I wondered where he was and went looking.
We were the architects and we're snagging (looking for faults to rectify before completion) and one thing we test is the locks on doors, stupid bugger went inside locked it and found out it was faulty when he couldn't open it again. It was in a small hilly town with now mobile reception so he couldn't call for help, we were the only ones on site and I was at the other end of the building so didn't hear him shout.
I always test from outside and with great care so you can't get stuck especially as I often do inspections on my own and you'd think he'd have know better he's a director with 40yrs experience

I got locked in the toilet in a loud bar last year.

Really long thin toilet room with solid walls and doors. Sat down on the toilet and noticed a sign on the door saying "do not lock gets stuck". FFS.

Spent about 10 mins banging and banging until someone heard me and the bar staff managed to jimmy the lock and get me out!

CaOnV
Never ignore a call to stool xxx

WHAT IS PLACE MARKING ?????!!!!

@lyn placemarking is when you comment on a thread so it will show up in the 'I'm on' bit and you can go back to it. If you press the three little dots and bookmark it'll take you back to that post so you don't need to go through pages to find where you were up to.

IS There a FECCING land line???

Actually the boiler service man needed the loo!
yuck 😤

Why thank you xx

A young colleague phoned another colleague in the morning recently to come help her as she had got locked in HER OWN HOUSE! It didnt surprise me

Anyone remember the man who got locked in Waterstones somewhere in London?

Yes, the lucky sod, my idea of paradise being locked in a bookshop or library

I feel like I stepped into another world reading this thread...a very weird world. OP did you go through the medicine cabinet before you left the bathroom?

This is the best thing I have ever read in my entire life.

Evangeline3 you seriously need to get out more.

Surely this thread would be more exciting if it were bollocks?

Sorry for no updates! My friend went home this morning before we got up taking her charger. I've just got home we went for a long drive and had a cheeky Nando's. I think George and I are becoming good friends.

I wasn't going to tell the truth because I wrote it In quite a few different ways and it still looked fucking ridiculous but I can only tell it how it is.

It's bizarre and it's been the best time of my life we've had such an amazing time! We had a moment last night when he helped me sort out my head when I hit it on June's exercise bike in the bedroom

I was bending down to pick up my bobble and hit it as I stood back up.
We've laughed so much together especially about this thread and he liked the bit where I called him fit!

He isn't too bothered that I called his nan and grandad thick as I apologised profusely given the fact that I was stressing out in the situation I found myself in and the fact that swear a lot anyway he understood and laughed even.

So yes it's nearly midnight the next night and I'm shattered. I fell asleep on the journey home in his van for an hour or so and I'm worried I've farted in my sleep since my obvious lack of bowel control yesterday. Not to mention the spicy Nando's which I've never tried before! George couldn't believe I had never been to Nando's in my life so basically dragged me there!

It's been fun

If you are a neighbor why didn't you go to the toilet at home

Because it's 3 miles away - please read

We had a moment last night when he helped me sort out my head when I hit it on June's exercise bike in the bedroom

Ok I'll ask - what were you doing in June's bedroom, with the grandson, under the exercise bike?

I'm 24 pages in and still not sure if OP is a cat or not

Oh please fall in love with George and marry him. This would make the best ever "how I met my dh" story.