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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think 300 people are going to hate me?

213 replies

fuckingroundabout · 01/08/2017 08:09

flying alone soon with an autistic nearly three year old and a recently crusing under one. How the hell am i going to survive a flight when the toddler cant sit still for more than 30 seconds and the baby is now wanting to be on the floor consta tly. Dont even have the aisle seat so some poor sod is sat next to us!

OP posts:
Original poster
fuckingroundabout · 01/08/2017 08:09

this was for tips but actually forgot to ask the question...

OP posts:
SweepTheHalls · 01/08/2017 08:10

Have you looked into the Cares harness for the 3 year old to keep him safely in his seat?

coconutwater1 · 01/08/2017 08:16

Can you travel in charge of both children? I know some airlines have restrictions on how old/many children 1 adult can look after on board.

mummytime · 01/08/2017 08:17

Have you told the airline and the UK airport and looked up the special assistance offered? My other top tip was to wear my children out before flying, including visits to airport play areas.
I also prepared them for the airport and flying and repeatedly told them and rehearsed behaviour needed on a plane and going through an airport. There might be family/special assistance security - which could help.
Also be prepared. Look up "earplanes" for children, and have things for both to suck.
Have things to distract them during the flight- small cheap colouring, games, toys. And pull out one at a time when needed.

Stellar67 · 01/08/2017 08:18

Tell the airport and the company you booked the flight with. They should give you assistance. If you are anxious, then so will toddler.

Which airport are you flying from? There are a couple that let you go on a "practice" flight so can get used to situation.

Also social story. Photos of places you will be at, from check in, security, seat on plane etc. It's all getting familiar with the unknown.

On plane, iPad, any distraction. Sweets for ears. Ear defenders.

DesperatelySeekingSushi · 01/08/2017 08:19

You will be right to absolutely flame me for this but I would (and have) used kindles and headphones with downloaded movies to matrix them Blush
Alternatively a mini magnetic drawing board for the toddler. The 1 year old I used to boob to sleep, sorry have no idea for that: mixture of rattles/books.
Mini pot of playdo if you really hate the airline
I don't fly longer than 75 minutes for this reason but my kids at that age were complimented (am not even being stealth about , am bragging!)
Because I devoted my handluggage to every damned thing going and power of the boob. I feel your pain though.
Kindles have a fan colouring in/painting app thingy - they colour pics using their fingers. That was handy.
Lots of finger food snacks.
KLM were bloody awesome when I flew alone with mine.

It might be okay. The person sat next to you might be me with kids on the other side. Or my other half flying alone. If it were either of us, we'd go out our way to make you feel comfortable/help out as have been in your shoes.
Shamrock

Me264 · 01/08/2017 08:22

Flew recently for the first time with a one year old and he spent most of the flight glued to Peppa Pig on the iPad. Technology is your friend, especially for the three year old. Screen time restrictions do not apply on planes!

That and snacks.

Devilishpyjamas · 01/08/2017 08:24

I think up to age two would have been the only age I could have flown with my autistic son, so there is that. Agree about looking into a harness (crelling do ones which fit on a plane I think if there aren't autism proof toddler ones). Also bring lots of food? That's what I would have done as it was the only thing that would have kept my son's attention.

monkeyfacegrace · 01/08/2017 08:25

Why in earth would you get flamed for recommending kindles and headphones Confused

I pad ipad ipad. Sweets and colouring books. You'll be fine, the anticipation is worse than the event.

DesperatelySeekingSushi · 01/08/2017 08:27

^ Because I'm not sure they're helpful for kids with autism (as in can mesmerise them short term but you pay the piper later. Each child is different though incl those with SEN).

CoolCarrie · 01/08/2017 08:31

Definitely ask for assistance OP, just having an extra pair of hands will help, and maybe you will get in ride on the airport buggy, which the dc will like, and as pp have said technology is your best friend.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 01/08/2017 08:31

iPad, ear plugs(for those sitting around you--, colouring books, etc

How long is the flight?

Treesinbloom · 01/08/2017 08:32

How long is the flight?

We never take advantage of early boarding with children. We wait until the last possible minue before making them sit in a small space for several hours!!!

Check in every possible bit of luggage. Only keep things that will be useful for the flight.

I have a small cross-bag that contains passports, money and phone. Easy access for passport controls. Then an ordinary rucksack for toys/food/distractions etc. From 3 I would say that your DC can carry their own bag too.

Original poster
fuckingroundabout · 01/08/2017 08:35

I canr get her to sit still even lomg enough to make it through an episode of peppa pig.

I did buy her a trunki and i just had a look and at the moment there is some tickets left so im hoping the seat next to us will be free.

will ask for assistance, hadnt realised I could.

its a three hour flight!

OP posts:
Mymouthgetsmeintrouble · 01/08/2017 08:39

We have a flight routine also do make the most of special assistance , we use a social story i made which has sit in your seat and put seatbelt on , (he wears ear defenders for take off and landing) , he then has activity time where i bring out the poundland colouring and sticker books (he has a weighted blanket to help him sit still) until the trolley comes past and he gets to choose a snack then its quiet time with his tablet for the rest of the flight , what about a sling for the little one so they can snuggle up with you it usually settles them pretty well

paradoxicalInterruption · 01/08/2017 08:39

My BIL gets assistance with his autistic son and they get fast racked through security, well worth enquiringly about. I think that was via the airport so worth talking to them.

Neutrogena · 01/08/2017 08:41

Fuck what others on the flight think of you.
You won't see them again.

Do whatever makes the flight as least distressing as possible for the children. If that's moving around and making noise, then do some of that.

user1497480444 · 01/08/2017 08:42

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Girty999 · 01/08/2017 08:44

Huge bag of bits of interest, never seen before books, games, plastic crap from the pound shop also electronic gear for games and apps etc, my son is autistic but I'm lucky in that he loves planes and will just go through possible crash scenarios etc, not good if you are nervous. People will stare etc but it's tough everyone has the right to travel, us Sen mums need people to be more educated about autism xx

MidniteScribbler · 01/08/2017 08:44

Can you buy the extra seat next to you. I always bought the extra seat for DS, even when he was able to sit on my lap. It was much easier having the whole row to myself and for him to be able to stretch out a bit. Also, if your dealing with toddler, you will have more difficulty if you are also juggling a baby. If you take your car seat as well, you can strap baby in and hopefully they'll have a nap.

Witsender · 01/08/2017 08:44

Realistically, she can, and may well need to as against just want to. So that's not entirely helpful.

Imolderthanithought · 01/08/2017 08:45

Lots of good tips already, but the main one is, try to keep calm and keep reminding yourself that you and your children have as much right to be on the flight as they do, and even if your children do 'fuss' it's only 3 hours out of your fellow passengers lives and not the end of their world, nor something that will scar them for life.

DesperatelySeekingSushi · 01/08/2017 08:47

Ooh. Twice the length. That's a hard one. I have a trunki, it worked well enough apart from a short transfer so I stuck them both on a luggage trolley and pegged it.
I did not get special assistance in the airport except for someone taking pity on me and guidinme to the lift but KLM crew members on the plane made lots of fuss of the kids/gave crayons/more snacks/blankies/pillows and helped me on and off plane.
Shout out to Sarah Malpass here! (Or anyone who knows her). Will always remember her kindness.
All you can do OP is breathe and try and think of slots of activities...so a dozen things. 15 mins story/15 mins I spy/15 mins playdo/15 minutes eating/ 15 minutes magnetic board/15 minutes spinner or stress ball (6 things x2)
My four year old now uses those trendy at the moment spinners.
I would not give out gift bags to fellow passengers necessarily but I would explain she's autistic so they can hopefully make allowances if she has a meltdown.