to think 300 people are going to hate me?

[fuckingroundabout]

flying alone soon with an autistic nearly three year old and a recently crusing under one. How the hell am i going to survive a flight when the toddler cant sit still for more than 30 seconds and the baby is now wanting to be on the floor consta tly. Dont even have the aisle seat so some poor sod is sat next to us!

How severe is the autism? Is she verbal & can be bribed? If so lots and lots of sweets/chocolates?

I felt like that with young twins. The look of horror when you get on with two very active wriggly children. We had to do it as DH's family lived in a European country and refused to travel.

I would buy a pack of ziplock A4 folders from pound shop and I would make a giant party bag. 2 four going there and two for return. All the usual suspects in there mainly from TIGER and Poundshop as other have mentioned mini colour pads. Mini play dough, mini puzzles. Nothing noisey. Plus comics when they were slightly older. I would put chuppa chup lolly in too with instructions that whoever over got to suck it down to the smallest was a winner. The children were under instructions to eat something first and then if they behaved.

Some airlines have kids packs. Ask when you get on. I see you're travelling by yourself because DH and I would sit at either end of the plane and with one each and that calmed things down a bit.

Once on a BA flight I was sat right at the back with one of them and a young flight attendant told me that on the plane were more kids than adults (first few days of school holidays) and I joked they must dread it. He laughed and said it wasn't the kids he minded, you could understand they getting fidgety and bored being cramped in but the whingers in business class were always worse than the kids. I suspect he may have been trying to make me feel better but I have always remembered it.

It does get better. We sit together now they are 10 and I get them a comic and it's relatively stress free.

Good luck OP.

if its that bad why are you flying? I'm sorry but you're already stressed already.

I don't know if the flight is long enough to sleep on but we had a 3 year old and one year old and they each took a cuddly toy on the flight. It was a large snowman with a big soft belly that they used as a pillow, not behind their heads but on their laps and they slept on it for several hours during a particularly long flight.
I don't think they do them anymore but you could check out if there was something similarly shaped about.

Does the toddler like using a tablet? That might occupy him. They will both need lots of food treats and drinks. Do they nap at all during the day?

Unless she loves the Trunki, I'd leave it at home - they're a huge PITA. Heavy, not much space for stuff, and awkward to carry. A small backpack is much easier.

Things which helped us when flying:

• cloth bag full of tissue-wrapped surprise gifts (just cheap little things)
• pop-up box (one of those IKEA nursery ones) to put on the seat/floor for toys, crayons, taken-off shoes, wipes etc. Easier than rummaging through bags or losing it all on the floor.
• own blanket and snacks.
• using the airport family room and generally being as active as possible pre-flight.

I fly a lot, generally without DS, who is neurotypical anyway. But I do know that they will fast-track your family through the airport if you flag your DD's special needs. I know at Manchester aiport they have lanyards for people with autism going through security checks. Definitely speak to your airline and the airport check-in desk.

On the flight itself, something to suck/chew on ascent and descent, plenty of snacks, and something different to do for every half hour of flight time. I do feel for you.

I disagree about the Trunki being a PITA. DS loves his still, aged 7 (we got it when he was 3), and it saves all sorts of whinging about having to walk long distances through airports.

Would the 3 year old be helped by a weighted vest or lap pad?

Could you ask for seats at the back of the plane then you might not feel all eyes are on you and your little ones could wonder about a bit more without you feeling all eyes are on you.
I wouldn't worry about other people, those with children will want to help and those without children probably won't mind too much either. Let the judges one judge that's probably their favourite holiday thing to do.

It's 3 hours of their lives (the other passengers) so what? no one exactly expects the flight to be as luxurious as Airforce 1 nor for the zen-like of a spa retreat & if they do they've booked on the wrong airline (not your problem).
Do your best to prepare them to know what to expect, enjoy your trip & don't fret about the others. (Would role playing at home or YouTube videos of plane interiors help?)
If anyone kicks up a fuss, remind them that's they were a child once too! and we've moved on from the dark age view of children being seen & not heard

user disablist, much? So kids with SEN shouldn't travel, see their family, leave the house? I suggest when you finally get a name you choose JudgyMcJudgypants you judgy fucker.

user disablist, much? So kids with SEN shouldn't travel, see their family, leave the house? I suggest when you finally get a name you choose JudgyMcJudgypants you judgy fucker.

Most will NOT hate you and the ones that do can easily put the headphones on.
I would speak to the person at the check in and explain the situation. They might be able to give you the seats with more legroom, so that both can sit on the floor and play when the seatbelt sign is off.

I've done massive, long haul flights with my 2 from the age of 10 weeks. I give calpol to set in before descent as it seems to prevent the ear pain.
Obviously, I don't know the extent of your DC's ASD so that would change things but here are some general tips:

Let them crawl/run around as much as possible before you get on the flight. Change nappies/so toilet trips immediately before boarding and if recently potty trained, put a nappy on for emergencies. Make sure you have packed spare clothes for all of you incase in case of accidents.

Some recommend boarding plane last but I never do, I find earlier helps so that someone doesn't use all the overhead space and create more problems.

Take dettol wipes on the plane and wipe down everything, like armrests and trays. This may seem crazy to someone but they're covered in bugs/viruses and eases some of the anxiety when your DC might start chewing the arm rest or licking the window (been there).

Do not skip nap times in the hope that they will sleep. It will just make things worse.

Have a really organised hand luggage for all of you. I made simple games like button in a jar (get a small Tupperware box and cut a slot in the top and fill with big, coloured buttons. Little kids love spotting them in and it kills 15 mins. Buy cheap buttons so doesn't matter when they're dropped).

I went to Wilkos and bought each a big cosmetic bag and filled it with cheap, party bag type toys. I kept hold of these and took a new toy out every time they were about to kick off.

Pack lots of snacks. Healthy is better for obvious reasons but whatever works for your kids and keeps them happy. Don't pack anything that is an obvious choking hazard.

iPads with their favourite movies and games already downloaded. Earphones if your DC can stand them.

Ask for cups of ice when the hostess comes round. Kids love playing with and chewing on the ice. When cups are empty, use them for games like guess the cup and draw faces on them. Puke bags also make useful puppets!

Stickers are good. I let them stick them anywhere they went and just remove them before the end of the flight. Letting them stick them to my arms and face seems to amuse them for a while.

Take lots of dummies if they have them and lots of bags for dirty things. I have gone as far as to label them 'clean' and 'dirty' to make things easier. Plenty of baby wipes!

Good luck and make sure you go with the mentality of being at work. You aren't going to be able to have a drink, watch movies and read a book like the other passengers but treat it like a shift at work and tell yourself that you will relax afterwards. Don't worry about other passengers, it is what it is

they wont be totally out of control, Im hoping the baby will fall asleep as its a 7am flight so a very early start. Autism also hadnt crossed my radar when the trip was booked.

She is just startinf to develop words, no concept of bribery and the understandinf of around a 12-18 month old. Im going to make her a social story as verbally her understanding is shocking but does really well when she can see things visually. She doesnt have any concept of now and next yet though. Im going to raid poundland for lots of new bits.

if i can keep her calm going through the airport the flight will be a lot better but if she gets too overwhelmed she will literally just want to spin which could be interesting!

I did x2 12 hours alone with (admittedly NT, so not anywhere near as hard as for you) 4yr old and 1 year old. I had read loads of threads and was so worried everyone would hate us.

Everyone was SO LOVELY. People offered to help. No one tutted. The flight wasn't fully booked so BA gave me an extra seat. When I apologised at the end for noisyness/crying/general craziness a lovely retired couple told me it was me they felt sorry for and I should have a large glass of wine! It was really tough but I didn't feel judged.

There is a huge difference between letting kids freely run riot while the parent sits back for a snooze; and a parent doing their best to pre-empt and help children with known difficult behaviours in a confined space with other people to consider.

Seems to me like @fuckingroundabout is the latter; and suggestions she become the former aren't helpful or considerate to anyone on that plane.

User....you're either a hairy bugger that lives under a bridge or in a pathetically narrow world

There are SEN .....that makes things unpredictable and "control" is not that simple

Plus ....sod off with the suggestion she's entitled....do you know why she's flying? No.....maybe it is a holiday (which if it keeps op sane all power to her)...or she could be moving through no choice of her own or going to family after bereavement

I would suggest open your world view because yours is pathetic

Op my mum took myself and dsis on a 8 hour flight whilst I was 18 months old and dsis was 7 ....there are stories of pelting felt tip pens (me ).... Eating all the food in sight (also me) but she made it through and still says it wasn't that bad and people were lovely and helped

I saw somewhere a mum gave out little packs of ear plugs and sweets to other passengers as they were getting on to apologise and it really moved the other passengers

Unless your user as above of course and then ignore the judgey crap ....

Children out of control certainly endangers the flight, and may in extreme cases endanger the aircraft.

Do you always start drinking this early?

User this is a 3 year old who will be annoying at most and can be 'contained' in her seat if necessary. Not an out of control adult rampaging around the plane.

I'm sorry user .....you are suggesting two children could actually endanger a flight? Seriously?

Are you actually this ignorant or is this a prank?

Nonetheless, user, fuck off anyway as you sound like a miserable, small minded, judge fuck.