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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think 300 people are going to hate me?

213 replies

fuckingroundabout · 01/08/2017 08:09

flying alone soon with an autistic nearly three year old and a recently crusing under one. How the hell am i going to survive a flight when the toddler cant sit still for more than 30 seconds and the baby is now wanting to be on the floor consta tly. Dont even have the aisle seat so some poor sod is sat next to us!

OP posts:
sycamore54321 · 01/08/2017 15:26

Long haul planes often have a bulkhead row in the middle aisle where baby bassinets can be supplied and extra legroom. For a flight as short as this one, I doubt it will be that type of plane so not relevant to her as standard emergency seats can't be taken by children

welshgirlwannabe · 01/08/2017 16:03

I have done more long haul flights with babies and toddlers than I like to think about. NT, so undoubtedly easier but still hard.

It is hard work. Agree with the poster who said to treat it like a days work. It is just hard work, physically and mentally. BUT it passes. Most othrr passengers will be on a spectrum that ranges from sympathetic and helpful to not really bothered by your plight. It will be far worse for you than any one around you, and those that do notice your children will most likely either try to help or just be quietly glad it's not them that has to deal with it!

I just recently flew long haul fro Belfast and if you are lucky your plane will be full of northern irish people Grin everyone on board that flight smiled at my manic toddler and tried to make him smile with games of peekaboo or whatever. Bless them all!

My thing that worked the best for this fligt was an empty purse with lots of compartments that I filled with old store cards and receipts. He spent entire minutes playing with that one Shock

MrWriter · 01/08/2017 16:05

Just in relation to being on the floor, we flew with ds when he was 15mths to New Zealand, we had a bassinet row, but it was difficult to keep him in it unless he was sleeping. I had set him on the floor for a minute while I organised the general chaos of toys/clothes etc around the bassinet when the steward told me to lift him off the floor as there isn't air circulated down there?!
I'd never heard this before, and he wasn't causing any issues as we were at the bulk head. But just something to keep in mind.

Original poster
fuckingroundabout · 01/08/2017 16:09

I have just gone and bought twenty (ten each way) pound toys and treats to wrap up, if anything will work this will be it

OP posts:
RTKangaMummy · 01/08/2017 16:27

You could wrap them like pass the parcel - different colours/patterns per layer, with a little sweet not chocolate cos host would make sticky mess under each layer

Would finger puppets or hand glove puppet work?

We had a lovely cuddly tigger one from Disney shop on DS flight to Canada

You making up a story using puppets?

Playing peek a boo with puppets?

Even if you don't use sound cancelling headphones atm would it be good idea to get them just in case the plane noises bothers your little one?

Jellysparks · 01/08/2017 16:34

It takes a community to raise a child. I'm childfree by choice and would always offer to help/ enjoy your children's presence if appropriate OR quietly feel sympathetic/supportive if not. There's "sometimes" some tutty people but tbh they'd tut at anyone. It's public transport, everyone normal expects to deal with the public if travelling. Everyone who travels a lot knows sometimes you luck out and get peaceful quiet time and sometimes you have to write off the sleep time.

Need20yearsofsleep · 01/08/2017 16:55

Maybe try some travel sickness tablets. Mum used to give them to us before we flew as a precaution but have heard some people say they actually make some children a bit drowsy and calmer on flights. Good luck

LizzieMacQueen · 01/08/2017 16:59

Have you seen the news stories about the wait at EU Border controls?

I think that could be more awful than the flight.

Writerwannabe83 · 01/08/2017 17:00

*Writerwannabe do you mean the staff let your child play on the floor at the emergency exit? Usually children or people with mobility issues are not allowed in that row at all?"

Yes, they had no problem with us being there.

HollyHollyHo · 01/08/2017 17:03

Melatonin

Melatonin

Melatonin

JsOtherHalf · 03/08/2017 20:57

Melatonin can only be prescribed by a psychiatrist in the UK.

youarenotkiddingme · 03/08/2017 22:18

Ds GP prescribed it to him.

JsOtherHalf · 04/08/2017 04:02

Was this the first time your dc had it prescribed?

Gp's in this area will.not prescribe it, which I thought was the case across England.

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 04/08/2017 05:40

Mine are 8 and 11 however I remember doing long haul flights and we took magnetic board games, colouring in books/pencils, cross stitch, and there iPads, plus plenty of haribos Grin

DisorderedAllsorts · 04/08/2017 06:43

www.autism.org.uk/about/family-life/holidays-trips/preparation.aspx

You might find the National Autistic Society's holiday preparation guide useful.

Brittbugs80 · 04/08/2017 08:09

The 1 year old I used to boob to sleep

I won't flame you for kindles to watch films on but I will flame you for using that sentence.

youarenotkiddingme · 04/08/2017 10:45

Gp prescribed it because ds wasn't sleeping and I was on my knees. No one else had prescribed it before that. He does have a dx of autism though so don't know if that makes a difference?

sweetbitter · 04/08/2017 11:07

I fly alone a lot (to visit family) and do t have kids and of course my heart sinks a bit when I'm sitting near screaming kids. But honestly for just 3 hours it's not worth worrying about. If I was sat next to you and you wanted me to help or hold the baby I would definitely do it, all the more so if you said your child was autistic. Seems like you've had a lot of good tips here for getting through the flight as best you can, let's just hope the passengers around you are understanding and helpful where appropriate.

Incidentally it's annoying reading so many posts from people who haven't taken on board you aren't going on holiday, you're going to visit family. Read the thread!

RTKangaMummy · 04/08/2017 11:18

I don't know if this is the wrong thing to suggest but what about getting one of those T shirts saying

"I am not naughty I have Autism"

I have no idea if they are a good idea or not so sorry if I have offended - but I really hope not

Hopefully it means you don't get horrible looks and tutting but people will understand that you are really trying as hard as you can

Writerwannabe83 · 04/08/2017 11:27

I don't know if this is the wrong thing to suggest but what about getting one of those T shirts saying "I'm not naughty, I have Autism"

They actually sell t-shirts with that on? Shock

To be honest, if I saw a child wearing that I would just think it was a typical 'logo' t-shirt and the parents were trying to be funny Confused

But that's probably because I had no idea they even existed - now that I know they do and they're genuine I will know in future to take it seriously if I see a child wearing one.

RTKangaMummy · 04/08/2017 11:39

I think this says it but can't enlarge photo showing design from autism society

So if I have read it properly but think it does say

I am not naughty I have autism on the t shirt

There are also autism awareness t shirt s for adults from autism society so I guess it is ok to have it to share awareness etc

butterflying · 04/08/2017 12:08

Has anyone suggested the antihistamines option yet? I know loads of people that still do that.

MoMandaS · 04/08/2017 12:22

OP, there's a Peppa Pig episode where they're going on holiday on an aeroplane that you could use to support your social story - shows them at the airport with luggage and going through security. I know you said she won't watch anything for 5 minutes but if you just find the relevant bit to show her, it might help prepare her.

MrsPorth · 04/08/2017 12:56

Children being noisy on flights never bothered me. I've flown a lot, mainly during school hols, and I genuinely can't remember a flight that was spoilt by a child. Use the pps' practical suggestions and try not to fret. Bon voyage.