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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Husband says I am punching above my weight

216 replies

Maybeoneday77 · 31/07/2017 06:41

Just looking to clarify something here. Yesterday my husband said he thinks i am punching above my weight. He is very into fitness and spends a lot of time on the gym. I have 3 small children, one is 6mths and I admit I have 16 pounds of baby weight to lose and don't feel good about myself at the moment.
He says it was a "nothing" comment and can't understand why I am so upset.
Who's he unreasonable twat here?

OP posts:

poweredbybread · 31/07/2017 17:07

OP I'm really sorry but your husband is being a thoughtless knob. If this unusual forgive him if not tell him to bugger off. Tell him he needs to look after his kids more and then go to the cinema and eat popcorn see how energy he has for the gym after that. Or put laxatives in his protein shakes! Good luck.

lljkk · 31/07/2017 17:07

I can only find one post by OP and it means nothing.
Am completely baffled by this thread.
If someone said I was "punching above my weight" it would mean I did an amazing job at a challenge that would obstensibly seem beyond me or beyond my historical achievement. It would be a compliment.

I can't tell what the words meant to OP & can't figure out how anyone else thinks they know what the words were supposed to mean.

Oh well, usual MN confusion.

Aeroflotgirl · 31/07/2017 17:09

Punching above the weight, means that he thinks he's better than her, so she better be lucky she's with him, as he's so fit, and she's oh so fat after having 3 kids.

JetBoyJetGirl · 31/07/2017 17:36

I'm very baffled by the level of understanding of some people on here

Even when people are trying to say it's a compliment, it still essentially means "doing better than one would expect based on their status and resources".

If you have secured a job you are not qualified for, it would be a compliment because it means you have demonstrated the necessary skills, qualities and experience despite your lack of formal qualifications in the area and others have recognised you for these. A lot people have done this and it's an achievement. A bit of a pat on the back for getting something that is technically out of their league.

When used in a romantic/sexual relationship sense, it means that the person has secured a partner they wouldn't have been expected to attract as their level of attraction, physical appearance, intelligence, income etc is lower than their partner's. I.e. Something that is technically out of their league.

In terms of a partner, it is never a compliment.

When my exh and I split up several people, including his friends, told me they were shocked that he'd had an affair as he was punching well above his weight with me. I not think they were complimenting him!

StormTreader · 31/07/2017 17:39

"If I wasnt looking after your three kids all the time then I'd have the time to waste prancing about in the gym as well."

Laine21 · 31/07/2017 17:46

Gobsmacked!!!! How dare he!

Never let yourself forget or forgive this! he's a prick of the highest order!

I still remember a little charming comment my ex made to me just after I had DD1 and in full pnd swing....... "glad I married a plain girl, they'll never run off with another man"

he's the ex and I have a much nicer, definitely more gorgeous slightly younger man (11 years and counting) who for some strange reason beyond my ken, (cos I can be a crabby cow!) adores me. when I do see him, when he pops round to see a DD I still remember what he said, and think, his new wife is welcome to the shite!

sending you a huge huge (((((HUG)))))

JetBoyJetGirl · 31/07/2017 17:51

If someone said I was "punching above my weight" it would mean I did an amazing job at a challenge that would obstensibly seem beyond me or beyond my historical achievement. It would be a compliment.

I can't understand why people don't understand.

In any context, it means you're doing better than you should be/could be expected to be given what you have to offer.

MsHarry · 31/07/2017 17:54

It means you are competing in a field that is above you. In boxing terms(punching) a feather weight taking on a heavy weight. In this case the OP's DH is the heavy weight and OP is the feather weight, i.e he is saying she is not in his league, she is Corby FC trying to play Man Utd.

kaitlinktm · 31/07/2017 17:54

@AtHome

I'm simply saying that 6 stone is a lot to be overweight by, and it's unhealthy.

But you didn't say that - what you said was:

6 stone isn't 'baby weight', not unless you gave birth to a 10 year old

Which was a mean thing to say. I was only skim-reading through but your comment leapt out at me because it was so nasty.

SonicBoomBoom · 31/07/2017 17:55

What a shit.

However, men say it to other men all the time if their wives are good looking.

But it seems particularly nasty for a man to say it to his own wife, it's basically "I'm better than you".

Roomster101 · 31/07/2017 18:00

What a knob. He is basically saying that he could do better and then wonders why you are upset!!
Some people's interpretation of "punching above your weight" is interesting....

Want2bSupermum · 31/07/2017 18:03

Punching above your weight!!!! I'd be telling him he is cruising for a bruising with that comment.

I'm the other side of 3DC too and I got DH to buy into me getting back in shape by telling him it was his sperm that caused the damage. He is 6'4" and my girls were both 8lb8oz and my son was 10lb6oz.

MissCommunication · 31/07/2017 18:48

In what context OP? When I first read it is thought you were going to say you were going to do a race or something and he was undermining you...or going for a job interview for something you might not ordinarily. IMHO it's good to aim high but it's undermining to say that you are PAYW as it implies you won't succeed. If he means he's on a different "attractiveness" level then, well, he is still a fuckface and do as others suggest!!

JetBoyJetGirl · 31/07/2017 18:56

"Punching above your weight" doesn't mean you're being aspirational. In any context. It means you're being a bit cheeky going for something that is a bit above and beyond you and, if you manage to pull it off, good on you.

And that's best case scenario.

Some people's understanding of language and idioms is baffling.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 31/07/2017 19:33

If you're going to insist it's a compliment, then you'd better understand that it's definitely a backhanded compliment because basically you're saying to that person that "no one would have expected YOU to be able to achieve this", which implies quite heavily that you're surprised/shocked/amazed that they DID manage it. Because you had low expectations of them to begin with.

embo1 · 31/07/2017 19:48

What a twunt. I'd be punching him!

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