AIBU to be absolutely furious that husband hasn't come home?

[Frogandbear]

My husband has gone out today with people from work for lunch and been out socialising/drinking the rest of the afternoon. I had something I needed to do at 7pm, for which I needed him to be home. I text him at 6pm to ask why he hadn't left yet. He said he had forgotten that he needed to be home for 7pm but he would be back as soon as possible. So then it was 6:15pm and he still hadn;t left the bar. I text him again to ask why he hadn't left yet. Then it was 6:30pm and he STILL hadn't left. I phoned him and he eventually picked up. I asked him why he was still there, and he wasn't going to make it home in time considering that he had to walk to the station, get a 20 min train and drive home. He said that no one else had left yet and that he was finishing his drink - wtf???

He won't be home by 7pm now and I have had to cancel my activity whilst he is out enjoying himself and I have been at home with the children all day. I am absolutely furious that he made no effort to get home in time and would do this to me. I told him that if he wasn't home by 7pm then he wouldn't be coming in. AIBU?

Nope, not unreasonable at all, your "D" H is a wanker.

YANBU. that's terrible.

Do you mean he has been drinking all after noon, and will be driving home?

He's an arse.

No, he is getting the train and then walking

Train and drive home? I hope not as he's been drinking all afternoon

Selfish man.

Is this a 'chicken or egg' situation? Yes, he did promise - but if I spoke to someone at 6 and said I'd be there by 7, then got a text just 15 minutes later asking if I'd left, I'd be ordering another drink.

I would have rang the pub and asked them to pass on a message to not bother coming home. .
Sounds like a real catch op. .

He just text me and said
'Can I stay? Please. Be 8pm home max.' I'm actually crying .

Drinking all afternoon then driving???

Well you can't tell him he can't come into his own home

I think you were both being slightly unreasonable if you thought it would be possible to leave a boozy work lunch on a Friday at 6 on the dot.

Depends on which event is more common. If he goes out once a month like this and has ruined your sister's hen do then obviously he is massively unreasonable. If it's a once a year thing for him and as a result you're missing your weekly Pilates
Class then you're being a bit U. Unsure without any further context.

But, if everything else is okay in your marriage this isn't really a lock him outdoors kind of situation no? I mean, people make mistakes sometimes. I've sometimes (rarely!) promised DH I'll be back at X time when out drinking with work and then lost network stayed out late etc. He's annoyed I don't just tell him upfront this evening is a write off, but I apologise for my unfair behaviour and we move on.

Yadnbu - selfish arse! Lock the doors and have a nice hot bath without your phone on case he calls!

Is this a regular occurrence or is out of character?? Where is it you need to be?

Just to clarify, we live within 10 mins walk of the station...he will be walking home and collect his car tomorrow.

Is this a 'chicken or egg' situation? Yes, he did promise - but if I spoke to someone at 6 and said I'd be there by 7, then got a text just 15 minutes later asking if I'd left, I'd be ordering another drink.

Why? Why be such a fucking spiteful cow bag?????

Honestly some people.

YANBU. He should have been home on time for you to get to your activity. And he shouldn't have been out on the piss all day in the first place if he is supposed to be caring for his children later.

What were you planning to do, OP?

But yes, he's a twunt.

can you re-arrange your event, OP?

No matter what, I guess he's on childcare duty the rest of the wekend.

Why 8pm max? He knows you've missed your thing right?

it would be okay if pre-arranged/he was not expected home. But looks like he is doing the old "I'll be home in plenty of time.....just a tad late.........oh no, I wont be home til much later......etc". This infuriates me more than DH saying "I'm going out and and it could be a long one - expect me when you see me" type of thing. Sounds like he is a bit pissed up and full of bravado now.

It's not the fact that he's late - it's the fact that he's still texting me asking to stay out longer....despite knowing that i;ve had to cancel and not answering his phone...

He just text me and said
'Can I stay? Please. Be 8pm home max.' I'm actually crying sadsad

that sounds like my 8 year old asking to stay at his friends house! Why is he asking? He is an adult, you aren't his parent, he doesn't get pass the buck for his decisions on to you. He either stays or he doesn't, but it is his choice! Do not answer that message. Do not give him "permission" to make this your decision. It is his. He wants to stay. he has to own his decisions.

I am so angry for you. I bet this isn't the first time, right?

*Why? Why be such a fucking spiteful cow bag?????

Honestly some people.*

Because the OP herself said that he had to walk to the station, catch a train that takes 20 minutes and then walk home at the other end. Why call after just 15 minutes unless to make a point?