To hate the summer holidays

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

I'm really fed up of the summer hols. I have 3 dc. Their dad had them for 4 days while I did thankfully get away with my friend. 2 hours after I got back from the airport he's dropped them off. I've got them day and night for the next three weeks. He's having them for just one weekend all holiday. I'm exhausted. He's only recently starting paying maintenance after a year. My house needs loads doing to it, but I can't afford it. I must be the only teacher who dreads the holidays. I'm knackered.

I'm sorry you feel crap, but I can't imagine as a teacher that looking after your own 3 is as bad as looking after your own three and working all day.
You need a plan.

How old are your DCs?

Honestly it's worse. As a teacher my day is structured and I'm intellectually challenged and respected. I have a 7, 9 and 11 year old and they fight constantly. I feel resentful that their dad thinks seeing them once every fortnight is great parenting. And I'm skint. At least I don't have the issue of entertaining them all day during term time. It is difficult.

I think it is the relentlessness. All day and all night and their dad can do a total of six days in eight weeks. Is it that difficult to understand why I might find the holidays harder than work?

I feel your pain. I'm a single parent who works in education too. Ex is having the kids for only one week this holiday - the last week. So I have to entertain them for 5 weeks on my own and with very little cash. Fortunately they are normally pretty well behaved (although their bickering drives me bonkers!) It's fine if the weather is ok and we can take a trip to a park for a picnic but I'm really struggling when it rains. There is only so much craft and baking I can do!

Meanwhile, ex is swanning around with his new GF, banging in about how much he loves his kids but not actually making any effort to spend any time with them. He hasn't even phoned them once in the last month.

Yes my ex doesn't phone them either. It's rubbish isn't it. I want to go to a creative writing group on Monday and I can't even get out for an hour. I feel trapped.

Are there any single parent organisations your way? A friend of mine joined one in her area and she and her DC met up with other people in similar circs once or twice a week during the summer, and she found it fun and it seemed to share the load a bit, or made the load-bearing more enjoyable anyway. She's kept some of those friends now the date older and they still do trips out that they organise privately.

Oh sorry, x posts. See it is the blokes who are the issues here. Why are they allowed to get away with it? (Genuine question not being hoorible). Sounds really unfair.

It's pants. I'd love to go to a yoga class a coupe of times a week but it can't happen because of childcare issues. I do all my exercise via YouTube vids these days!

I've got some playdates lined up for next week which should help. Kids much happier to mess around in their rooms/garden if there is a friend there too.

Are there any local (cheap) holiday clubs on? I'm a teacher but I book DD into holiday club in the summer for one day a week, for her sanity and mine!

Or- can you invite some of their school pals over to play? If you've got 3 then you may as well have 6 and they all might go off and play separately in pairs- the added bonus here being you might get an invitation back!

Look out for a cheap trampoline on selling sites- it's something they can all enjoy and it wears them out.

Also, i'd be asking their father to have them the first week back in Sept. Then at least you can look forward to that week and get your head around your own new class(es), timetable etc.

You have my sympathies - I've just broken up from school, I've got a virus (typical) and I'm completely burnt out.

Their father will not have them the first week back. No point asking him. He lives in a 2 bed flat with another woman, her two children and their baby together. So he doesn't have a suitable environment anyway really.

Playmates are a good idea. We are camping this weekend. I did look at holiday clubs but with three of them it is still too pricey. There is a nice play centre nearby.

I don't understand why you're unhappy that you're children are home- you did have 3 kids knowing that they'd be there until they grew up.
They are mostly old enough to entertain themselves now.
When they fight separate and punish them.

Maybe because the op didn't anticipate that she'd have to do all the parenting virtually alone thefutureisfemale and wouldn't have time for herself even for an hour to do a creative writing course or whatever. That has got to be hard from anyone's perspective. And I disagree that DC of that age don't need much input.

It's a bit of a slog being skint and having 3 to feed and entertain all by yourself . I'm sure OP didn't expect to be a single parent when she set out to start a family.

Our local library has got lots of free craft events and a ZooLab on for the Summer Reading Challenge if that appeals to any of yours?
Also last year Pets at Home did free small animal and reptile workshops, DD 7 enjoyed them and it passed a morning.

Geocaching is a bit of fun, and free. It's like a real like treasure hunt, might be good where you're camping.

I think it takes a while to adjust to the holidays with children. Usually by the middle weeks I feel more chilled but the first week or 2 is hell as you come to a sudden, abrupt end. I'm a TA and I know how busy the last few weeks of term are for teachers. At least you got away on your own, many mums with partners don't get to do that as hols are taken with DH/DP and the kids.

I'm a teacher at an independent school and have 9 weeks at home with my DCs! My DH took the first 2 weeks off and we had a glorious sunny holiday but now it's all down to me until September. There are days when it's wonderful but it's also relentless and bloody hard work. My DCs are 7 & 4 and mostly get in brilliantly but we've had a rainy day of bickering today and at was counting down til wine o'clock in a way that I never am at work!

I've signed them up for a (bloody expensive) holiday club for 2 days next week for all our sakes.

Otherwise, I find that having a tiring trip out planned for every day - meet friends, big walk in the woods, park, library, soft play - is the wa forward. You are definitely not BU.

no one alive could say you ABU op

I have enjoyed this week but a) they have been at holiday club/creche 2 days while I was at work and b) we have spent a fortune and I am worried it's unsustainable. So I think yanbu but I think it's worth putting a bit of research into free or cheap activities. I'm in London and there's a great facebook group for day out ideas and lots of stuff on the council website. Is there anything near you? Or can you do swaps with people in the same boat? They're often easier to entertain with a friend and you get a break in return.

Last year my ex tried to have them a few days here and there. It was so irritating. So I stated that there are 13 weeks of holiday and asked that in 2017 he identify 4 full weeks he would have them.

Didn't matter which weeks.... he huffed and puffed but it did happen.

Thank god.

I feel for you op it's so bloody hard.

I'm a teacher who dreads the summer holidays too op. My dc are younger than yours and, at the moment at least, get on great but they are loud, full on and very giddy.

When I'm working I feel fulfilled, there are people to talk to and every day is different but during the long holidays I'm stuck at home doing the same things over and over again and I feel so lonely because everyone else is either at work or away.

I'm skint too. I'm a supply teacher so I don't get paid during the holidays and there's no guarantee that I'll get anything at all for the first few weeks in September so I'm trying to make every penny last as long as possible. I had hoped to get out to the park or for walks in the woods etc but the weather has been awful - not just a bit rainy but absolutely slinging it down and windy as well.

Today we went out properly for the first time all week only for ds to start complaining of tummy ache and saying he felt sick so we had to turn round and come home again. He bloody perked up as soon as we walked in the door.

I was looking forward to the last weekend in August - the bank holiday weekend when dh could be off work and we could share the load a bit but he's only gone and won himself an all expenses paid trip abroad - the whole weekend in a 5* hotel with a range of exciting activities etc. We're not invited. I can't help but feel very jealous and very put out, especially given the timing and the fact that we're not able to have a family holiday this year because of one thing and another. I've booked a few days in a caravan for me and the dc but it's not the same and it's certainly not going to be a break for me.

Sorry op for writing a moaning essay on your thread but I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in not liking the summer holidays and you're not the only teacher looking forward to September!

I have 4 that are younger than yours so it's prob a bit easier for me as mine are still young and are happy with park and library younger type things. I think your situation must be really hard going. Have you looked at the oden kids cinema they do kids films every mornig very cheap I think my local one is 2 quid per film. Runs through the holidays.

Instead of a holiday club which as you say would be really expensive what about a local babysitter? Some of thw ladiea from my local pre school offer babysitting as like you they have holidays off too right now. A few quid for an afternoon out for you is well worth it. You could arrange the babysitter fot the time of the creative writing club and then timw for a coffee or whatever after? Some of the local churches run holiday clubs my local one does but if your child is under 8 parents have to stay if your kids are over 8 you can leave them. A couple of hours is 2 quid. Look into something like this.

Things I do to break up the workload of them all being at home is to give myself little breaks. Ie. One night a week is tin on toast night like beans or whatever as then i don't have a huge meal to do. Another night of the week is freezer meal night. Sometime we have paper plates. So not for me to clear up more mess. I once a week or so have lunch in our local asda when the weather is bad as everything on the menu is a pound pretty much so lunch for 5 of us is cheap and saves me having to cook and clean up.

I do try to structure the day a bit. Breakfast we have together then straight after they have to do some reading and school type work. Then we head out mid morning try to take a picnic. Afternoons we have a walk I usually make up some reason like I've run out of bread and then we have to walk all the way to the shops and back. By the time we've doen that it's tea time and after tea I let them do what they like before bed.

I have to day I'm very grateful when my oh arrives home as by then I'm run into the ground! The constant noise and bickering gets to us all. Must be relentless for you at times.

I have a 9 and 11 year old, and l confess l love the holidays with them, no getting up at 6am, this morning l surfaced at 8am!

But l do have rules, they are not allowed to wake me up or be noisy before l get up, quiet tv watching.

Any squabbling results in seperate rooms reading for 20 minutes, so they hardly bicker as they would rather play together.

I recommend a zero tolerance approach for sulks or arguing !

I am pretty east going with allowing movie afternoons and a reasonable amount of minecraft....

I think we all love not having the rigid structure of term time as they are at seperate schools it feels quite rushed and we are all tired at the end of the day, whereas in the hols it is lovely not having to fight traffic and rush endless homework....

I hear you. It feels like it's been a month already and we're only one week down

It's the weather that's not helping here! Lovely weather when everyone was stuck in school, as soon as they break up in comes the rain.
I have work still 2 days and 1 morning a week so get a break from dd and then make the most of my 2 days with her.
Don't think I would cope without a break. I would try the play date thing I've heard it said on here before and hopefully the weather cheers up soon and everyone will cheer up with it.

Are there any church holiday clubs near you?

My Dd has been in one all week from 9-1 getting breakfast and lunch for £1 a day.

She has had a great time and it breaks up the day.

I know it is hard but think of the positives like not having to get up early and rush getting everyone ready. I enjoy having time to exercise even a DVD in my bedroom.

Have a walk out for an hour or so too even Pokémoning or geocaching helps and don't worry about too much screen time; you do what you have to to survive.

I am sad the first week is over and feel a bit panicked that there are only 5 werks left. Now I am totally unreasonable.