To hate the summer holidays

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

I'm really fed up of the summer hols. I have 3 dc. Their dad had them for 4 days while I did thankfully get away with my friend. 2 hours after I got back from the airport he's dropped them off. I've got them day and night for the next three weeks. He's having them for just one weekend all holiday. I'm exhausted. He's only recently starting paying maintenance after a year. My house needs loads doing to it, but I can't afford it. I must be the only teacher who dreads the holidays. I'm knackered.

Oh that's a bit rough op. As you say, Mumsnet are within their rights to do this (I suppose when they see the Daily Fail lifting threads on a regular basis, they rationalise that they should be able to disseminate threads wider for their own benefit too) but it is a bit much for a site that purports to be supportive to parents. They are treading a difficult line here I would say.

I'm very sorry you have suffered unfair and unsympathetic feedback .

Surely one of the prime reasons for Mumsnet's existence is that parents can have a vent about the difficulties and challenges of raising dc with like minded people. It's evidently far from "safe" to do this any more. And yes, I know, this is a public site which wasn't ever "safe" but Facebook and Twitter didn't come in to the equation before now.

In the end, imho, it will be detrimental to the site though, because no-one will post anything remotely salient in case it becomes fodder for wider social media (or for journalists). I can already see this happening.

It's such a shame. I absolutely love Mumsnet and I am very grateful to it because it has provided me with huge support at times and I have met on-line and rl friends because of it. But, imho, Mumsnet are in danger of devouring their own creation.

I have already changed my posting habits and name change all the time because of this issue, as do many others, all of which diminishes the overall cohesion of the site.

I am going to report this post so that you hopefully get a response from Mumsnet towers.

Thank you waffling. Facebook is a very different environment to mumsnet and I wouldn't post this on there. To have people suggesting you shouldn't have children and talking about you in the abstract, as if you are not a person, is really odd.
I have had depression but thankfully I'm not particularly vulnerable any more. Some posters could be.

I wonder if the issue is that you get all kinds of people on here, people who don't like kids seem to love coming on here for some reason I don't get! It's as if some troll this site to attack parents, which is very sad.

You also get posters who are struggling with infertility who can be the most judgey ever! I was in that position so I'm not just having a go. It's hard for someone in that position to cope with parents complaining because they feel that they would swop places in a heartbeat!

Now I'm a mum myself I understand both positions, and as I adopted people really don't understand me moaning as DH and I went to hell and back to create our family! But it doesn't mean we mums shouldn't vent as it can be flipping hard sometimes!!!

Most sites I'm on have rules about how posters should treat each other and threads are closed if these rules are not followed.

The anonymity on here means that posters can be as rude as they want with impunity.

I have found people on here to be lovely actually. It's on facebook that they have been really aggressive. I don't know where the anger comes from.

What? MN put stuff on FB? This is news to me! Why?

They certainly do. It popped up on my Facebook feed with loads of random strangers completely tearing me apart and accusing me of being a moaning Minnie who shouldn't have had children.

Oh what a shame. I naively thought MN was a bit different to most social media.

Most are lovely, I agree. But yes, the anger on Facebook can be intense. People are angry for their own reasons, I believe, and then direct it at mumsnet posts, sadly. I suppose the key is to not take it personally, though that's easier said than done. I haven't yet dared to ask an AIBU question yet for that reason lol!

I think they all get on Facebook eventually but some get very little response.

Don't worry OP, being a mum has been fabulous but god have I had some rough moments, don't know anyone that hasn't.

Yes it's quite ironic, all these people angrily protesting about how happy they are and how they adore every single moment with their children, despite the father being absent and having no money. It's all WONDERFUL and anyone who says any different is evil and should never have a child. They really do sound truly happy

And what some people seem incapable of understanding or acknowledging is that it is possible to love your dc to bits and find them extremely wearisome and irritating at the same time!! Yes, people are capable of experiencing conflicting emotions at the same time, imagine that!!

Yes it's as if I'd posted that I don't love my children.
It does worry me, that reaction. It could really alienate someone with pnd for example. And I hate this 'well you can't complain because my situation is so much worse.' In that case no one can ever have a whinge about anything! Someone on there said she was basically a single parent as he husband worked all the time. I'd love a second income!

Putting it on FB is a low blow, what were MN thinking off?! Ignore the comments .

faron I'm a lp too and my feeble attempt at life goes on hold for six weeks. All appointments and gym sessions have to wait until Sept. Drives me loopy. I can barely get to the shops because I have to go straight from work to holiday club. Endless fighting from the dc's too.

I totally see where you are coming from and my own children aren't even at school yet! All our regular toddler groups and classes are not on over the holidays and our usual haunts like cafes and farms are absolutely rammed with older children. It is a really long time for anyone to be constantly trying to provide entertainment and of course you are going to feel fed up and frazzled!

A lot of grandparents post on here too, too, and rose coloured sunglasses spring to mind. My DM is like that, and so is MIL. My DM says constantly, 'I never had that with my children' meaning me and DSIS and DB! All I can say is, if we were that good, why were we smacked so often?? (Not meaning to start a debate on that issue but I think the point is clear lol!!)

Oh God, it was probably mixed with the whole FB thing of everything being fab all the time etc etc.

I assume they just use your undermanned though as maybe something like in the popular threads? So people n Fb don't know it's you?

Not really what you need though when struggling!

People on fb don't know it is me thankfully but it's horrible. Really vicious.

Apparently I'm over entitled and spoiled and how dare I expect my dcs dad to do even 25%

Fuck sake mumsnet, really? How utterly shit. OP, ignore the huns. Their own timelines will be full of wine o'clock and let's all have a night out ladies. Hypocrites and twats, the lot them.

This is when we need a 'report mn" button!

Yep. They are all 'hubby works 24/7 to provide for us and I'm not moaning luv'

By the way I have a supportive partner and no money worries and I hate the holidays too. Two weeks would be fine but six? Fuck that. And I only have one kid. You're doing brilliantly so ignore the arseholes.

Also part of the reason I ditched FB a few months ago. Don't miss it. But I would be mightily pissed off if MN decided to put my, albeit anonymous, comments on there!

Thanks Morris. I honestly don't think anyone who is that aggressive can really be happy with their lives. Some of it sounded like jealousy that I'd had a holiday. It WAS lovely and I hadn't been on a plane since 1999, so well needed too.

Let's hope hubz isn't a train driver or a surgeon. I suspect he works the same hours as everyone else but the hero narrative always plays well.