To hate the summer holidays

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

I'm really fed up of the summer hols. I have 3 dc. Their dad had them for 4 days while I did thankfully get away with my friend. 2 hours after I got back from the airport he's dropped them off. I've got them day and night for the next three weeks. He's having them for just one weekend all holiday. I'm exhausted. He's only recently starting paying maintenance after a year. My house needs loads doing to it, but I can't afford it. I must be the only teacher who dreads the holidays. I'm knackered.

A friend of mine is going through chemo atm and her tipple of choice is an elderflower and lime spritzer with a load of ice. Says it's as close to a g&t she can get

Hats off to all lone parents anyway.

God reading that facebook thread and it's vicious. Are we castigating people for their thoughts now?

It's like 1984

Obsessively rereading the facebook thing. People saying I've made them angry. I've enjoyed quite a bit of the hols with my kids despite having a moan. Now I feel awful though. Really vulnerable and panicky and like I've outed myself and everyone will be looking at me and judging me. When you can put faces to the nasty comments it feels much more personal as well. I have been off my ads for a while but I don't think I can cope with being scrutinised like that by these women. They were all jumping in.to support this one woman and it felt like being bullied at school :(

MN quoted me on that FB thread and I'm not particularly happy TBH. Like the OP, I was having a bit of a vent about the fact that I'm finding it hard to entertain the DCs on a budget while their dad does basically sod all to help. The vitriol on FB is eye opening and not very nice. Feel a bit shit now.

Yes it really isn't nice. One woman in particular was saying vile things and everyone was saying how wonderful she was and what a great parent she was.

It is ok not to find things easy all the time. It is ok to politely disagree with someone. It isn't ok to suggest someone shouldn't have had children when you have NO evidence to suggest those children are mistreated or not loved.
Mental health is important. Feeling like you don't matter or that your feelings are not valid is not conducive to good mental health. Many people who struggle with the lack of structure in holidays have had issues with anxiety and depression.
God I used to struggle with them before I had kids!!! That would be most people's dream.

Yeah, I noticed a lot of people piling in to say how much they loved the summer holidays with their children. Well, good for them! That doesn't mean that others are wrong for struggling a bit. It was also clear that the vast, vast majority hadn't read the full thread at all. Why does MN do this? Several people posted on the actual thread to say they emphasised with you OP and to say they were also struggling. Now it feels like MN have thrown us all under the bus for clicks and comments.

They have. It was total click bait.

A few months ago I was really really struggling with the kids. I went to the gp and he took a blood test and told me I was very severely anaemic. But I suppose I should still have been skipping around singing about rainbows

There are posters who are poorly physically and mentally. Posters in all kinds of situations who will now feel alienated. I'm really cross.

The good thing is that MN is anonymous so if you're quoted then no one you know will work out it's you, unless you give too much away in your quote. I find that very liberating.

Those comments feel very personal though when they are directed at you. Really horrible.

faron I've no great ideas but I just wanted to say that I understand how incredibly draining it is having an emotional 11 yr old. My eldest is 19 now and will always be an emotional person, but being her mum when she was 11 was one of the hardest times of my life. Just that really. And her dad wasn't interested either, which added to her emotional strain. So I empathise massively with how worn down you feel having to be the sole strength for a needy kid. I hope you get some breaks and if you don't, I hope you manage to make some space for yourself in the midst of it all. It will pass and you'll have your Renaissance!

Thanks madmomma. She's a lovely girl but she has full on temper tantrums. Tells me she hates me and knocks chairs over in her room because her phone isn't working. Then sits on the stairs sobbing because I've told her off and says she wants to die. It's bloody hard when you see that. But tra la la Mary Poppins and all that, hey. Sorry I'm bitter at the moment, but I'll get over it. It's just an anonymous thread. I am finding ways to help her and I didn't put it on here, because I didn't want the thread to be about that. She is clearly anxious too and really needs help managing her emotions.

That's incredibly difficult. She must be all mixed up and probably also hormonal bless her. Not going to lie it's a long long road and I've got it to come with my younger ones. I remember she cried buckets every single day for 18 months at 11, and that moved on to clinical anxiety at 15. I gave her an hour of active listening every night for most of her high school life as she wept and worried and wept and raged. She had noone else. You think nothing is helping and that you're not doing her any good, but all the listening and hugging and loving - it goes in you know? And it pays off, so never think it's wasted. Dd got a medication at 17 that did her the world of good, and she had a bit of cbt, started jogging, has a part time job and is genuinely a happy, fully functioning woman. Everything you are slogging away so bloody hard for for your kids will count.

@Wafflingwell, I know what you mean. It's why I haven't posted anything on AIBU as yet, I don't like the idea of that kind of attack. No doubt I'll do it eventually.

@Farontothemaddingcrowd, I'm so sorry, there's nothing so awful as seeing your DC suffer and know that you can't wave a magic wand and make everything ok.

I have just looked at Face Book for this and I'm appalled at the replies on there. It's just a race to the bottom of how bad lives are. I'm so sorry that you're having a rotten time - I remember school holidays always leaving me a bit ragged too and I had my husband, extended family (for some of the time I had a nanny - shoot me now) and I also got to go to work some times which was utter bliss. I loved my kids but my god I wouldn't have wanted to deal with them single-handedly for the entire holiday.
for you

Thank you ginslinger. I got very depressed last holiday, though I'm a lot better now and doing well without medication. I think it was partly the fear of it happening again that worried me when I posted this thread. I'm doing ok and I'm going to try to spread happiness around like fairy dust to make up for all the bullies on Facebook.

Madding Just seen the Facebook thread and thought I'd pop by with and .

People can be vicious dicks. I know it's tough but please try not to focus on what they're saying.

Thanks geekywombat. Ps I love your name. Makes me

What is this facebook thread? I've looked on the mn.com fb page and can't find anything about it?
I'm flag to read that you're doing OK op. Try to remember that people find it really easy to be nasty over the internet when they can't actually see the person they're virtually spitting at. I sometimes think that once one person is nasty, others then pile in and try to outdo them with their viciousness.
I said upthread that I'm not really enjoying the summer holidays and I am struggling with lack of money and poor weather, similar in some ways to you. Children are delightful but it's bloody hard when they are tired, emotional and unsettled for whatever reason and being cooped up indoors day in, day out with their siblings is going to create friction and bickering that absolutely does your tits in!
Well done on getting off the anti d's op.

Hopefully MN have removed it like I asked them to do earlier. Thanks TF. Just watching jumanji with the kids.

No it is still there and no response from mn. One poster is passive aggressively suggesting she is too old to bicker on facebook and to have a good day after declaring it wrong to complain about looking after your own children. I hate when people do that. Fire the bullets and then run.