Mother 39 Father 44- your first thought?

[BenFolly]

Shocked?
Normal?
Ancient?
Rather them than me?

Or something else?

Sorry if AIBU to ask

First at 41. Then discovered I had MS. The stats in op's post sound pretty par for the course round here.

TIRED

But pretty normal nowadays

First thought? My mum had her youngest at 45, they'll be fine. 27 year age difference between me and the youngest!

My parents age when I was born. In 1958 it was considered pretty ancient and for the first 5 months I was assumed to be early menopause but wouldn't bat an eyelid nowadays.

My children are like you Luna. 21 year age gap between youngest two. I was 45 and DH 44. He keeps us young!

I was 39 when I had DD. DH was 49.

Mother 43 father 47 that's us I don't give a toss

That's me.

I gave birth at 40, OH was 44.

What's your point OP?

Not unusual for my friends, don't think I would think anything much about it at all.

Not unusual. I am 36 and he is 43, #3 due in October. Neither of us feel much older than we did when we had #1 7 years ago.

My mum was 38 I think when she had my youngest sister! They are now 10 and 8.
I never thought anything of it.

It's probably weirder for her because I have 2 children now (5 and 4) and just found out I'm expect no3 who will be in April. My eldest will be 6 by then though.

I'm sure she'll feel old as that will be her 4th grandchild! But you don't have that to worry about if you're are so young haha! I was 18 when I had my youngest - there's 2yr11m between my eldest and her youngest haha!

I think much depends on your social group as well, most of our friends travelled, built careers or whatever and didn't start having kids until they were safely in their 30ies.

The only families I know who started having kids in the early to mid twenties are a few from the kids' school.

how lovely is my first thought.

I haven't read the thread, what am I supposed to think?

Age is minor consideration. A third is the significant bit!

We were 40 (me) and 35 when our second baby arrived

Higher end of absolutely fine. If the DH was a smoker, making him effectively 50-something then I might raise an (internal) eyebrow but otherwise not at all (and I'm much more judgy about this stuff than MN in general).

My childhood! My Mum was 40 my Dad 45 when I was born.

I was very bored as a child as my parents were tired. By the time I was 10 (and my brother was 14) they were slowing down and preparing for retirement. Everyone thought they were my Grandparents.
Also, I couldn't relate to them in any way at all. The age difference was so vast. They were both born during the war. I was born in the eighties....

I was just 26 when I lost my Dad. I felt robbed. All my friends' parents were still late forties early fifties and I'd just been to my Dad's funeral.... It was as if there was a generation missing?
(Scary to think that I could've been late forties-fifty now if my parents had have had me when they were first married!)

As a result, I've said if I don't have anymore kids by the time I'm 35...36 max then I won't at all. I couldn't do it. But that's just my choice based on my own personal experience.

If the baby is wanted, I'd congratulate them! As I would congratulate anyone telling me about a pregnancy. It is a thing to celebrate.

My first thought is CONGRATULATIONS!!

Especially if they are first time parents. I might speculate that they have been TTC or trying to adopt for ages and they must be over the moon. Or maybe they have only just found each other, just in time to have kids before it is too late. How lovely.

My first thought would be totally normal, and also that by those ages the parents are likely to be pretty financially and emotionally stable and secure and well equipped to deal with parenting

JustDontGetIt - so much like my childhood although go back a decade and my mum tried her best.
Now 40 is the new 30, so I am def 'younger' in mind/outlook than my parents were when they were in their 40s. In the 1970s, when you were 40-odd, you were def 'middle aged'.

I think those posters saying 'my parents were that age and tired out and unrelatable-to' are (with respect) attributing to age something that is more down to the individual, in which age might be a factor. My 12yo, who I had at 28, sometimes makes me feel 'old' (or, more precisely, out of touch), while I don't feel in the slightest slow or old in coping with my toddler, who I had at 38.

The poster above who felt out of touch with her parents born in the war - I think life and experience changed so much in those particular 35-40 years that I can see that happening, but I think the equivalent gap in years seems much smaller these days. Again, it's a lot more individual configurations of experience than quantity of years.

And FWIW, my mother was 31 when she had me and she always seemed 'old'.

Ps: I have teens now in mid-40s. When my mum was nearly 46 I was just 3!!

i was 37 and my DH 45 when our DD was born.

we didn't meet until i was 34. totally normal amongst our circle of friends.

we are financially very comfortable and i'm much more stable than i was in my 20's. perfect for us!

same ages my parents were when they had me. my dad is still alive.

like moose, my parents were very old fashioned and my dad has never driven or owned a car, so it wasnt a fun filled childhood. ( had two older siblings, 12 and 15, so didnt grow up with them really) Totally different these days, plus there is screening for any disabilities - there wasnt then which made mums pregnancy even worse she said. ( wasnt really wanted but it turned out okay in the end!) she must have been exhausted though, you dont appreciate this when your a child yourself.