Mother 39 Father 44- your first thought?

[BenFolly]

Shocked?
Normal?
Ancient?
Rather them than me?

Or something else?

Sorry if AIBU to ask

Not unusual for first baby, entirely unremarkable for third!

My grandma was 46 when she gave birth to my mum. What's the problem?

I probably wouldn't give it any thought at all.

Normal, but weird for asking?!

A friends just had their 4th baby, both the parents will be 50 next year, it was a surprise pregnancy but they've got over the shock now.

I was a bit surprised but then delighted when sil announced her third pregnancy aged 46. Not necessarily surprised because of her age, but mostly because she had been taking precautions. She was also surprised, and then delighted.

Different sil had her first and only at 39.

My aunt had her two children aged 42 and 47 after 20 odd years of taking no precautions. What a surprise those two must have been!!

Unprotected sex for 20 years and then suddenly pregnant! Why!?

So in answer to your question, my first thought would be "Yay! Congratulations!"

I'd figure that if you weren't happy about it yourself, you wouldn't announce it to anybody. So I would feel free to enthuse! 50 years ago, women had children in their late forties, and one or two early fifties (that I personally know about) There is nothing new under the sun. 39 is very young.

To analyse it a bit further. I had my last period when I was 59, So I could have become pregnant mid fifties. (Not likely, given the depletion of ovarian eggs and stuff - these are all technical terms) but I COULD have. And I would have been pleased if not delighted.

39 is nowt. Honest. Nobody will turn a hair about somebody being pregnant at 39.

You just have to stop giving a fuck about what other people think.

My Mum is as 37 and Dad was 49 when they had me. Youngest of 6, and that was in the 60s.
I was 39 when I had ds2

now my kids have no grandparents and that breaks my heart

Well, you must know that loads of kids don't have grandparents alive. It's not exclusive to you. Some grandparents die young from medical issues exclusive of of old age. My own two children have never known their grandparents. Yet they survive. It's sad, but its just how it is.

I'm glad I was born, obviously, but having much older parents has its drawbacks

I think that's not fair. However, I think that in the context of this thread, a 39 year old Mum is well within the limits of not being an older parent.

OP - DD now 53, youngest DC 13, no problem, go for it!

I read that as your daughters are 53 and 13, and I started doing some sums

Then I realised what you meant.

I'm eyeing DP. He's telling me to STOP IT . Hehe

Mother 24, Father 70

Fucking hell, that's a bit Yewtree.

My great grandmother had twins (at home, no warning of twins, no pain relief ) at 43. Two years later her eldest daughter had my aunt. So mother to babies 6&7 in 1937 and grandmother in 1939!

^Or a bit rockstar, haven't Jagger and the other one just had kids in their 70's with much younger woman?
Personally I think having kids when you are that old is selfish.

Op 39 & 44 is normal now, I wouldn't do it but if you are comfortable with it then your choice.

My mum was 38 when she had her last child back in the 70s. We al had a brilliant relationship with our grandparents until they died, all at 92 weirdly.

It's also completely normal.

@StrandedStarfish, 24 and 70? Wow. Now that I'd judge. A lot.

39 and 44? I don't even think I'd blink.

the norm around here

Normal, I had my first - dd - at 39 (assisted conception) and my second - ds- at 49 (adoption).

Totally normal for my area of London, in which parents of similar ages to those you've quoted look at my DH and I with disdain for 'daring' to have a toddler when we're in our early 30's.

In contrast, there are many grandparents in the area of London I grew up in, who are only a few years older than me.

I don't think it really matters how old you are to be a parent, but how you feel about it yourself. Most people these days are not in a financial or relationship position to be able to have children when they're in their 20's, and increasingly in the 30's either.

Des O'Conner definitely had a child in his 70's, David Jason was 60 odd when he became a father and I think Michael Gambon was well into his Dumbledore years when his GF had his youngest children (google it, his poor wife :( ).

No one turned a hair (apart from "good on him!") yet when Janet Jackson had her child, all anyone could talk about was her age.........

Rather them than me! I'm 33 expecting my second (and probably last) and I'm KNACKERED.

I'm 39 and 20wks pregnant with my first, DP will be 41 when baby is born :)

Entirely normal.

And funnily enough people in their 40s still have plenty of energy and ability to cope.

Can't bear the patronising 30s assuming that 40 year olds are decrepit.

I had kids later, one at 43. No issues st all: though I think that multiple children take more toll than your own age. I.e harder to have 3 at any age than 1 at 43.

Sweet article here by John Simpson about becoming a father in his 20s and then his 60s.