To not let my friend stay in my house for £30 a week

[Thisismyusername1989]

He's a bit of a spoilt princess. He's found himself in a position where he won't be starting his new job until first September and will be leaving his job on Friday.

He's got a job in the meantime as bank staff and it is 10 miles form my house.

His home is 40 minutes drive away so he has informed me he will be staying at mine for three weeks and will give me £30 a week.

He'd have to just sleep on the sofa as I have only two bedrooms and have two children who have a bunk bed.

He says he doesn't mind.

I haven't agreed yet but he's just presumed. He text me the time he will be arriving.

AIBU to say no or do you think that would be a bit mean? I'd probably do it for £50 but £30 would only cover his electric and food!

You need to be brave.

Think how the situation, if at all, would suit you.

Are you ok with him staying with you for this period of time?

If not, say it can't happen. If he is your friend truly, he will just bite it and make other arrangements.

If you are ok, but under different terms, consolidate the terms that would suit you in your mind and then tell him he can stay "if you are ok with the following and state your terms".

Do it all by email so you can pace responses.

If he is a real friend he will comply. It's your home after all, so your rules!

Good luck. x

I had a lodger several months prior to my oldest being born, who is now 22! At the time I charged £60.00 a week all in. That was the going rate in London at the time. I had a job getting him out as although he had haggled with the price at the beginning he soon realised this was massivly cheap and struggled to find accommodation equally reasonable! Don't do it!!!

Firstly - do you own your own house?
Because If not you're going to end up in a world of trouble if you get reported. Both council and privately rented, whether you pay yourself or get housing benefit, have strict clauses about this sort of arrangement in.
It would an illegal sub let technically.

So straight away - there is your get out clause if you don't want him to stay.

Secondly, If you get any benefits they will all be effected.
You will also need to declare it on your council tax otherwise risk a heavy fine (possibly even prison)

Lastly, think of the effect on your children! "sorry darling you can't sit an eat your cereal on the sofa, there is a strange man asleep on there" 🙄
There is also the issue that no matter how long you have known this friend, it is never, ever, a good idea to let an adult man into your home around your children over night - you read about these things going wrong all of the time. Why would you even want to take the risk? No matter how low of a risk you think it is, you never truly know anyone well enough to say it wouldn't happen.

The answer the this is a big fat resounding NO.
By the sounds of your post you are a single mum, which I presume therefore means you receive benefits of some sort.
Tell him "sorry I can't let you stay, I'd lose the benefit money I get and be charged extra counting tax if someone rings the council, I cant take the risk - but best of luck with the new job."

What did you say?

I would say to him, look, I love you lots but there's no way you can stay for 3 weeks on my sofa. I'd end up killing you. It's not about the money either but £30 wouldn't cover anything anyway, you're going to have to think of another solution. I could cope with a weekend, but 3 weeks is absolutely a non starter.

My DH commutes 2 hours each way every day (2+2=4!) -what is he on about?!

Don't do it! We've been in a similar situation and it went horribly wrong - let's say his true colours came out.
We're no longer in contact. Such a shame as DH and I had known him since uni.

This sort of thing is exactly why I have sofas which are just that bit too short to sleep on.

IKEA has a lot to answer for, IMO.

"Sorry, that just doesnt work for me. Have you checked AirBnB, theres probably somewhere close you could rent?"

As UnicornQueen pointed out it would effect any benetfits you may get, unless you are of independant means that is.

If you are on benefits, you risk having them stopped and reassessed in the light of another person living in your home. You also risk losing any child tax credits while you are asked to prove household income and that your friend is only a short term guest.

My daughter was in a new flat share, when she was made redundant, and despite separate bedrooms, her flatmate having a long term girlfriend, she was accused of living as a couple and refused benefits!

Not worth the risk if you claim any form of benefit.

He's there now, isn't he OP?

His stuffs piled up behind the settee, and you are already wondering what you can maker his dinner that the kids will eat, too.

And you're havingtodrag the kids off his things every two minutes because they want to play with his overnight bag and draw on his shirts with sharpies.

Spot on Schadenfreude!

Just say no!!

User149933 etc -- you might do this as a favour for friends and family but I suspect your situation is rather different. OP is on minimum wage with a toddler and her friend earns £36K. If he was a true friend he'd be offering over the odds to help her out for the convenience of staying with her!
I remember putting up a friend who was on a very large salary when she was visiting the city on a paid business trip. I was a single mother on a student allowance. When she left she gave me a small packet of cooked meats because she didn't have room in her bag to take them home with her. I'd fed her for a week and ferried her around in my car. I'm a lot more assertive now! I think lots of people who are comfortably placed just don't understand how difficult it is for others on low incomes.