To not let my friend stay in my house for £30 a week

[Thisismyusername1989]

He's a bit of a spoilt princess. He's found himself in a position where he won't be starting his new job until first September and will be leaving his job on Friday.

He's got a job in the meantime as bank staff and it is 10 miles form my house.

His home is 40 minutes drive away so he has informed me he will be staying at mine for three weeks and will give me £30 a week.

He'd have to just sleep on the sofa as I have only two bedrooms and have two children who have a bunk bed.

He says he doesn't mind.

I haven't agreed yet but he's just presumed. He text me the time he will be arriving.

AIBU to say no or do you think that would be a bit mean? I'd probably do it for £50 but £30 would only cover his electric and food!

He is saving 2 x 30 minutes of unwanted commute by being a 15 hours/ day unwanted guest.

I used to do an hours commute each way on the M1 motorway for more than 8 years, so 3 weeks in the summer when the schools are off is easily do-able. (Noticeably less traffic!)
He's taking the piss big time offering a paltry £30 a week. It will cost him that a day in petrol if he commutes so he's obviously worked out that inconveniencing you will save him £££'s.
Don't be a mug OP.
Suggest he pays £30 a day and see what he says.

Depends on how close a friend and if you can afford to have him.

Like the other posts, say no. He's taking the mic. Don't let people just walk all over you.

You'll have someone staying on your sofa for a month? Sounds hellish.

A 60 minute commute is fine! I think say no but invite him to stay just one night so you can have a catch up. Sounds like you like him despite his faults, otherwise I'd say 'just say no'. He's very cheeky!

One word-no

I would be honest with him and say that it's not about the money but it's a big inconvenience for your family, for very little in return. Yes, it might be nice seeing your friend more but the novelty will wear off, after a couple of days.

36k a year- he should be offering a minimum of £50 excluding food

If you do let him, make sure he buys his own food, I doubt £30.00 a week will cover it! If he's as presumptuous as he sounds he'll have no problem eating you out of house and home.

OP have you texted him yet with a simple NO x

If you get any benefits it will affect that. There's your genuine excuse,

"Princess, can't have you to stay as it will affect my benefits - I'd lose much more than thirty quid a week so it's not possible. Check out air B and B s - best of luck with the job.'

Say no. If he moves in you will not get rid of him. It will be far too convenient having you do everything for him. And why should he take over your kids'sofa? Say it is not possible. You have other things planned. END OF.

OP - what have you decided? or has he already moved in?

40 min drive doesn't seem so bad. As for the 30 quid if he is only going to have breakfast and say a cuppa in the evening well could cover his food and laundry of bedding otherwise tell him you don't want to do it.

Lol... I did 3 your long commutes for 8 weeks.

People saying "oh it's a friend so I would do it as a favour" are not considering how selfish this is... If you don't say no you aren't considering your children. What about what they want or how it will effect them. It is going to get crazy hot apparently soon - the kids will need space to get apart or destress and enjoy their summer holiday.

I have memories of being put in the conservatory over the summer so our room could be rented out or our lounge being rented out... You know what it absolutely sucks. It made summer's suck.

Don't do it - from personal experience it made me hate summer holidays and you will make your friends happy at your kids expense. They will never tell you how much they hate it but trust me they will.

Tell him "Sorry I really can't - I don't have the space and I can't risk our friendship"

I fell for this some years ago to help out a friend for a couple of weeks.
She ended up staying for nearly 6 months, I hardly ever got to have coffee in the morning because she kept helping herself to my milk, suddenly had to share my own fridge, she'd 'be too tired' & leave the washing up, I'd want to use the bathroom but she was in it, I'd want to use my washing machine but find it already on & somehow the cost of washing powder etc... were my issue.
I also basically ended up losing my front room for that whole time, she'd feel tired & want to settle down for an early night & I'd end up in my bedroom (no tv in there back then) then hear the tv on in the front room - she'd be on the sofa in her covers.
She started hanging her clothes around the front room, the bedding took up space, it just became somewhere you wouldn't let visitors in or go in yourself.
She was a teacher & suddenly my coffee table was the place to store kids work she had to mark etc... which mustn't be touched.
This was back in the landline days, she gave it out as her number & basically hogged that too but never did pay a penny towards it.
Then post started turning up.
Oh and of course there were the requests for everyone to be quiet v early in the morning/not expect to watch tv because it wasn't fair to wake her up etc...
Somehow the money - some nominal sum far less than £30 - became expected to cover her meals & me cleaning up after her.
It also stopped turning up after a bit.
When she finally moved out she did give me a 35cl of Jamesons.
I only saw her once or twice after that, the 'friendship' never recovered.

Of course, it might not turn out that way, but honestly I was feeling like a visitor in my own home after the first fortnight.

If you are anything like me & feel you should always make visitors feel welcome so you should put yourself out for them, you may find you spend all that time making him cups of tea etc... & it's frankly exhausting.

Just try banning yourself from your own front room for 24 hours straight & see how you like it.

I'd do this for my sister but not for anyone else.

I had a 'friend' who tried to do this. And I had a spare bedroom. I said no quite emphatically. And she was a hard person to say no to! Just do it, you don't need the intrusion.

I would say no. Not even taking the rudeness or money into account.

If I were you (I'm also in a 2 bed place with kids in bunk beds) and a friend assumed/asked to stay on my sofa for 3 weeks just to make a journey to work shorter I'd say no. If they were homeless then I would say yes but just to make their travel time less for three weeks? No. It's a massive inconvenience having someone living in one of your communal rooms. You have kids that will want to play and watch tv etc and you will want to enjoy your living room also. Surely your living room would end up looking like a bomb site for 3 weeks? Well...maybe not that bad but certainly more cluttered than you'd like.

Basically he's is trying to stop himself being inconvenienced but in a way that instead inconveniences you. So I would say no sorry.

What a cheeky bugger! Tell him to sod off and mean it!

Ffs stop being pathetic and needy and just say NO. What is wrong with you??!!

I'm really laid back.
Is it that big a deal?
Help a friend out...he is a friend, right?
Tell him it's 50 quid a week plus his own food/drink...or ask him to cook dinner a few nights a week. Make it fun, all good karma in the bank.