To not let my friend stay in my house for £30 a week

[Thisismyusername1989]

He's a bit of a spoilt princess. He's found himself in a position where he won't be starting his new job until first September and will be leaving his job on Friday.

He's got a job in the meantime as bank staff and it is 10 miles form my house.

His home is 40 minutes drive away so he has informed me he will be staying at mine for three weeks and will give me £30 a week.

He'd have to just sleep on the sofa as I have only two bedrooms and have two children who have a bunk bed.

He says he doesn't mind.

I haven't agreed yet but he's just presumed. He text me the time he will be arriving.

AIBU to say no or do you think that would be a bit mean? I'd probably do it for £50 but £30 would only cover his electric and food!

I have Aspergers. I'm not stingy or rude and I'm perfectly capable of doing an hour's commute (I do this every day, hour there, hour back). Tell him to shove off. Politely.

Tell him to try finding a hotel for thirty quid a week, cheeky get.

Do you want him to stay? If not, say no. It is not his choice. Lots of people in London have an hour commute or more so driving to and from or going by train to and from his work is just the price he will have to pay for getting a job 60 miles away.

I don't see why your kids should have to share their home with him for three weeks.

IF you do it please, please only offer it for a week at first to see how it works out. AND please charge him what it costs you for food, electric and the lot. I bet he will eat breakfast and dinner and for a whole week it will be a lot. I would also hope he would go home for the weekend so would only be with you Mon to Thursday nights.

Please think carefully before saying yes. And if you want to say no, please just say no.

You will get fed up of his company and you may even fall out if you say yes.

I suspect that you will end up backing down in the face of his entitlement. But FYI the words you are looking for are

"No, sorry that wont be possible" "But why?" "It just wont be possible"

End of.

For the love of god dont do it....im an introvert and i cant bear anyone in my home other than my kids...It is so unfair on your children....let them enjoy their school hols without this oaf lounging around.

A grown man sleeping on your sofa for 3 weeks?! You'll never get the smell out of your sofa! Your living room becomes inaccessible for 3 weeks as it's his bedroom? Where are your children going to go?

He didn't really ask, just told you. If you want this much of a favour you basically beg and apologise profusely, you do not see it as a fait accompli!

£30 is not enough even if he is feeding himself. Where else would he find a room for £30 a week? A cheap B&B would be at least £30 A NIGHT Say no or tell him you want £70 a week and he can barter down a bit.

It is going to be a huge inconvenience and imposition for you.

Ask him if he means £30 per night as £30 per week would be a joke amount for that level of inconvenience (not to mention increased bills etc). Otherwise just say NO!

Can't believe this is a unanimous YANBU.

Text him back "Sorry about this but it's not convenient for you to stay at the moment. It just wont work and we'll end up falling out over something that we really shouldn't even need to be discussing. I wont be able to put you up, even on the sofa for any length of time and it is unfair of you to announce to me that you're coming, as if it is a done deal."

How rude!! £30 a week is very, very cheap camping rent, hope he's got a good tent, perhaps maybe £50 per week for the shed. Cheeky bugger.

Just the fact that he announced his time of arrival with an 'if that's ok' tagged along would piss me off enough to say no, let alone the £30 PW,

Just no!! I do have a shed however, he would be welcome to that, if he has a blow up bed of his own!

Have you replied yet? What have you said?

No.

Overnighters or weekenders I reluctantly tolerate. As long as I have been given notice, and time to change the sheets it's all good. Then they go home!

But even at that it is a pain if we are all really honest about it.

Sorry OP, it's a no from me.

I feel like you've written about this friend before.... does he often take advantage?

I wouldn't want ANYONE staying with me that long, on my couch!!

It's your home, OP! Man up and decide what you want to happen there!

£30 a week is a real piss-take amount, I think. If that's all he's prepared to pay then he'd better be providing ALL his own food and toiletries etc.

If he's expecting to be able to use your facilities and possibly your food, then definitely tell him he needs to offer more.

3 weeks on the sofa is going to be hard work - is he a drinker? will he be out on the lash and coming home drunk? will he be hoping to go to bed earlier than you're ready for? I wouldn't like this, I have to say, a few days would be bearable but 3 weeks... no.

As is often said on here...

"No." is a complete sentence.

A couple of days maybe. But weeks? Where will he put all his stuff? Is he going to stow away the bedding every morning? And that sleeping mansmell in the living room? I don't think so. With two children in the house I'm guessing clutter is to the max already, having a living room lodger will be horrific. And what if he wants to go to bed early and you want to stay up, or have friends round?

It just wouldn't work. Tell him no, sorry, you don't have the room. He might not mind him commandeering the living room but you do.

It sounds like you have a problem saying no. Now is the perfect time to start.

If you're happy with £50 then text "make it £50 a week and it's a deal"

You could always give him a little back at the end if it works out less
I'm think the extra though will be an incentive for him not to stay longer than needed

Good points about his stuff etc

Who is he?

Those saying £30 is a pisstake, how much exactly would you expect him to offer?!

I think that's enough.

I guarantee from what little info you've given us about him that he'll take the piss once he's got his foot in the door: taking food that isn't his, expecting dinners cooked and bitching it's not lobster tails every night , expecting you to clean up after him/do his laundry, leave the bathroom not as he found it, hogging said bathroom, hogging the tv (cos that comes with the sofa don'tcha know), leaving his stuff everywhere but then moaning if you DC touch his things.

We had this when I was a DC, relatives from abroad announcing they're sending their DC over on holiday and assuming you're loaded because you live in England (ironic because we were the poor relatives). I felt like a stranger in my own home

I'm sure you mentioned before OP that your DC were wanting to learn to play the Cymbals during the school holidays

Those saying £30 is a pisstake, how much exactly would you expect him to offer?!

She's handing over 1/3 of her house, so 1/3 of rent or mortgage unless he's a homeless relative. He's just someone too lazy to get up half an hour earlier than he would have to if staying with the OP.

Plus easily £50 for 5 dinners plus necessities a week or is he going to have his own washing powder, loo roll, washing up liquid, coffee? Electricity is probably only £10.

Please say No to him,OP. You will be so cross with yourself otherwise.

"Go with your gut" is what I say. If you're not immediately pleased at the thought of him coming, don't let him.