To not let my friend stay in my house for £30 a week

[Thisismyusername1989]

He's a bit of a spoilt princess. He's found himself in a position where he won't be starting his new job until first September and will be leaving his job on Friday.

He's got a job in the meantime as bank staff and it is 10 miles form my house.

His home is 40 minutes drive away so he has informed me he will be staying at mine for three weeks and will give me £30 a week.

He'd have to just sleep on the sofa as I have only two bedrooms and have two children who have a bunk bed.

He says he doesn't mind.

I haven't agreed yet but he's just presumed. He text me the time he will be arriving.

AIBU to say no or do you think that would be a bit mean? I'd probably do it for £50 but £30 would only cover his electric and food!

Well you would be an absolute mug to agree to this.

I personally think he's being rude, and ridiculous! A 60 min drive to work isn't unreasonable. Surely he can just stay in his own place?!
Plus, it'll totally put you and your kids out having someone living on your sofa for over a month.

Say no! Apart from anything else, he'll never bl00dy leave! Practice: "No, you cannot stay, it's not convenient". Repeat like a broken record

Why on earth would you even consider doing this?!

Either say no like 99% of the population would, or be a total doormat but don't then moan about it!

It will be a nightmare, OP. You know it will. And he'll expect everything to be included for that £30.

I did have to laugh at the commute, it's fuck all compared to many. Tell him it's not convenient and leave it at that.

The money wouldn't be my issue, I wouldn't want someone living on my sofa for 3 weeks!

I've known him years. He's very loyal and has many good points.

He's very stingy with money and incredibly rude at times but I wonder if he has aspergers or something!

How much would his electric/food/has be a week?

No way would I agree to this.

Just no!!!

Why are you even mulling this over?!

He has been unbelievably rude - and that is a big red flag you should take notice of right there. Because he will spend his three weeks taking the piss just as much as he's displayed in that text. So if you want to fall out, go ahead and let him sponge.

Either text back:

'Sorry, no. There is really no space here, certainly not for more than one overnight!! You'd be far better off with an airbnb? Or the commute would be cheaper than the £60-70 it would actually cost to cover your board here!'

Or text:

'Yes, ok. You'd be on the sofa, so probably wouldn't be able to have private time until around 11pm when I go to bed, and the children come into the sitting room anytime from 6am so you have to be ok with that. It will cost me upwards of £75 to cover your costs. More expensive than commuting and you won't exactly get a longer lie in! Not sure it's worth it?'

No no no

If you do it, get the money up front.

But

You

Will

Fall

Out.

Having asperger's doesn't make you stingy and rude! you might want to rephrase that

And yes, if he's yet to sort out accommodation closer to work, then he will NOT just be with you for three weeks.

No way would I have him lodging after he assumed you'd be accommodating him on his wishes.

John bit shocked by your text, sorry that won't work for us.
Let us know when your free after work one evening would love to meet up somewhere for a burger. Good luck in the job.

I definitely wouldn't unless he was the DC's favouritest ever 'uncle'.

Otherwise no - if he isn't used to DCs then no, no, no

he has sort of asked, so that gives you an in to firmly answer!
'No, sorry it's not okay. You'll be okay driving, it's only for a few weeks!'

or if you want to go into detail.
'No, sorry, we don't have enough space, I can't afford it and it will be really inconvenient with the children. Try looking on gumtree if you really don't think you can handle the drive, but I don't think £30 a week will get you much" You can throw in a 'good luck with the job,' if you really want to be nice but to be honest I would just go short and to the point, as he has done.

The worst that can happen if you say no is that he'll be a bit annoyed with you, and,seriously unless this guy is usually absolutely wonderful and has done you lots of favours in the past, why would you even care if he is? He obviously isn't at all bothered about putting you out.

If he's only got a month between jobs he's not likely to be destitute. If he can't face a week's commuting he can just do the few days bare minimum needed to tide him over for the month until he's in his new job. £30 wouldn't even cover half his petrol for a 2 hr commute each day per week ffs!

Do you want him to stay? Personally I'd hate to have someone in my living room all summer (which it will be...........!) and would only consider it for a very good friend who was desperate - your friend just can't be bothered to do the drive and pay for it. So, unless you want him to stay, just say that he can't. Don't offer reasons other than that you don't want someone staying in your living room and there would be nowhere else. If you start saying that you don't think he can stay because the children wake up early, that won't put him off. Be strong!

Thisismyusername1989 What he has or has not got is not your problem. 'No' is a complete sentence. He's a freeloader.

So is: Rearrange these words into a well know phrase or saying 'off sod'.

£30 a night maybe

His home is 40 minutes drive away so he has informed me he will be staying at mine for three weeks and will give me £30 a week.

Really?

I would be telling him to fuck off. However he is...

Why The Fuck are you even putting up with this?

Has he given up his current flat/house? Even if he has, I'd be saying no. Even for a really good friend, it's the sort of situation which very, very rarely ends well.