To not let my friend stay in my house for £30 a week

[Thisismyusername1989]

He's a bit of a spoilt princess. He's found himself in a position where he won't be starting his new job until first September and will be leaving his job on Friday.

He's got a job in the meantime as bank staff and it is 10 miles form my house.

His home is 40 minutes drive away so he has informed me he will be staying at mine for three weeks and will give me £30 a week.

He'd have to just sleep on the sofa as I have only two bedrooms and have two children who have a bunk bed.

He says he doesn't mind.

I haven't agreed yet but he's just presumed. He text me the time he will be arriving.

AIBU to say no or do you think that would be a bit mean? I'd probably do it for £50 but £30 would only cover his electric and food!

Text him back 'haha very funny, £6 a day for that privilege, I think I'll pass mate'

Thanks for the replies.

To be honest I'd be happy to have a friend over for three weeks and keep asking my best friend to come over. The fact I won't have him over says it all really.

He takes the piss big time. He's only staying over at mine to save money and he earns 36k a year. I am on minimum wage with a toddler. If I was inconveniencing a single mum like that I'd be offering £60 at least.

£30 in my opinion is incredibly stingy. He is stingy with money and I just don't feel he would help and be a good house guest.

£30 to him obviously seem reasonable.

I've stayed friends because we all have faults and he has many positives. But you have to be assertive or he'd have you for a fool. He wouldn't steal from you or anything but is mean with money and will be cheeky to save money if he can.

We have had a friend stay for several weeks twice (different friends). Both times a true emergency, middle of an ugly divorce situation. It was extremely trying, and the friendship took a big knock both times and a while to fully recover.

I would do it again, but they were truly emergencies. To save 30 minutes commuting? Fuck that.

Text him you have no room nor the money to subsidise him like that.

To be fair he'd help you out with anything.ive never asked him for a favor but he's helped me out when I needed practical help (like moving house etc).

He's not an awful person.

He's just stingy with money and bad mannered. When he see the way his mum is with him you can see why. She's never taught him manners and has spoilt him rotten but he's almost 30
Now so should have learnt!

I'm a good friend but for some reason when I do him a favor I feel I'm being taken advantage of.

With my other friends I do not feel that way.

So what are his good points?

lets face it 6 quid isn't even the price of a couple of drinks in starbucks - he has no idea.

30 quid is an insult to you

tell him to air bnb it

That's even worse, so because you're a single mum on minimum wage he thinks you'll be wowed with £30

He'd be lucky to get a camping pitch for £30 a week!!!

Stingy and bad mannered! Awful combination. Say NO and mean it! Say it's not convenient for you and your kids to have a house guest for three weeks, let alone one whose presence will leave you out of pocket and land you with a load of extra cooking if and cleaning! Practice saying no in the mirror until you feel comfortable with it. Honestly, some people!

ASD is a diagnosis, not an excuse for asshattery. I appreciate you mean well, but please don't correlate someone being grabby and presumptuous with autism. Autistic people cope with enough stereotypes as it is.

My DH has a minimum commute of 90 mins (three hours all in) that's if traffic is ok, tell him to suck it up, I can't see why he needs to stay at yours x

If he's earning 36k and is a tight arse, odds on he's saved a stash of cash and could afford to not work for a few weeks. So it sounds extremely likely he's choosing to work when he doesn't need to. Then to compound it, he expects you to help him out and subsidise him. That sounds awful and very different from staying in an emergency. Just say no.

Let me frame it for you this way OP - you'd be paying to be inconvenienced by someone who makes you feel taken advantage of.
No. Just no.
No need to give a reason.

So - plenty of advice here - what are you going to do? Its time to make a decision.

It wouldn't matter if he'd offered £200.

He did not ASK.

You might not WANT him to stay with you for 6 weeks.

Asking to stay at someone's house and offering them £30 isn't rude at all. It's a favor that you don't have to do (although o know how hard it can be to say no).

He is a good friend. You have known him for years. Fgs!!! What is wrong with people on here. It is a favour for a friend. If the money is an issue you could ask if he could maybe help out with some food on top. You could say, thats fine, will you be getting your own food?
My ds come to stay regularly. I usually get them to pay for take away or a treat. I dont usually ask for any money. Sometimes they stay for a fortnight. It is a favour. They do eat quite a lot but very often they buy some food for themselves.
At the end of the day, its a favour. I think you should do it.

If you're happy to have him to stay, tell him it'll be at least £100 a week, and that's still way under what he'd spend in a hotel.

..and if you read the OP she did say he had a 60 min commute. I will stay at yours if thats ok, is kind of asking.

and its only for 3wks.
..but i would make sure thats all it was for. Things like this can drag on.

So what will you do?

OP have you posted about this friend before ie coming for lunch, expecting you to fund everything and not contributing??? This rings a lot of bells.

You would be silly to agree to this unless if you don't want to do it, you are allowing this friend to use you!!! Time to stand up for yourself and say NO

OP have you posted about this friend before ie coming for lunch, expecting you to fund everything and not contributing??? This rings a lot of bells.

I was thinking this, but wasn't the guy in that thread a single dad to several DC?