to not rush divorce for sake of STBXH new marriage

[TeenageDirtBags]

I'm a single mum of two teenagers. I met my STBXH when I was very young and we were married a very long time. We have been living apart for 3 years and for most of that time I've dipped in and out of dating sites, never settling but I have not been lonely IYKWIM. I would like to find someone permanent. Split was agreed by bothof us.

STBXH met his new gf after we split and i'm sure he's planning on marrying once the divorce is through. They are not engaged yet but he's a tradionalist and he'll be waiting until it's right. My children have told me they're talking about it. Divorce is taking a long time but I'm in no rush.

AIBU to take a little longer than I need to with the paperwork?

What would you achieve by delaying unnecessarily?

You have moved on, so has he.. I would cement it asap really.

Just fucking do it.

I think I would want it all over with to be honest.

Unless you're going to drip feed an actual tsunami of back story into the thread, why on earth would you delay things?

Why would you do that?

So you want to delay just to be spiteful? .

If you agreed to the split and are dating yourself, why would you want to purposely delay things for them? It sounds a bit unnecessarily spiteful. Or is there more to this that you haven't told us?

Nothing like a woman scorned OP .... if you showed that small minded attitude whilst married, I'm not surprised he's moved on.

yabu

It doesn't benefit you to delay, it just makes his life difficult.

Do you hate him that much?

Delaying the divorce to delay their engagement smacks of spite in all honesty. YABU. Set him & yourself free.

Grow up.

"AIBU to take a little longer than I need to with the paperwork?"

Yes.

Why on earth would you do that?

Not so much unreasonable, more nasty and spiteful.

That is really unpleasant

No drip feed or heavy back story, i'm just a bit pissed he's moved on and I haven't. He was always more sociable than me. I have our children 70% of the time but every other weekend he has them. So he's had more opportunity to meet others than me.

Grow up

^This.

I wouldn't delay it. Delaying it won't stop them getting married. Do it, draw a line under it and move on for your own sake.

Yes just get it done and stop being so spiteful. You don't want to be with him so why would you make it hard for him to marry someone else? I would hate to be married to someone I no longer loved one second longer than necessary.

Wow thats really spiteful

Why bother? Just get it over and done with. Delaying it won't change the final outcome, you're just playing silly buggers!

YABU and controlling.

He is more than reasonable having waited 3 years already!

Oh come on, everyone. Obviously it would be better for the OP if she could let it go, but when you're separated from someone and taking on the bulk of the childcare and they're happily swanning around with a new girlfriend, it's easy to be bitter.

Maybe when you let go of him properly you will indeed move on - more chance of you also meeting someone then.