To not understand parents crying at the end of infant school

[SEsofty]

So today my eldest left infant school, and will be continuing onto the junior school along with ninety percent of the year.

I was surrounded by parents crying their eyes out, incredibly upset. I simply don't understand.

So could someone please explain to me why lots of people are crying simply because their child is going onto the next year of school.

Aibu to not understand?

Seriously.

Whilst I didn't cry at my child's, I can't say I "didn't understand" why others did.

Open your mind. Could it perhaps be that it is the end of an area and represents another leap forward - a bittersweet mix of happiness they're progressing but sadness that they are growing up.

I was

Many people get inexplicably distressed by the passing of time.

No, I've never understood why people do this either, but I didn't shed a single tear when DS left junior school last year so maybe I'm made of stone!

Sorry posted too soon.
I have found transitions at every stage to be hard. I cried loads when my kids left primary to go to highschool !

inexplicably distressed?

Christ almighty, someone is sad at their child growing up. What is the matter with that?

I get it. But then i'm not stone cold, so there's that.

Holiday. I guess that's it, I really can't understand why people would be sad about their children growing up.

That's like being sad that the sun rises or that trees lose their leaves. It's the inevitable passing of time.

I felt sad when ds2 left for secondary school and leavers assembly was emotional. The rest was just the usual school progression.
Everyone is different though.

For some, it's a reminder that the parents are also getting older. They think ahead to graduations, weddings etc and wonder if they will live long enough to be there

Well in Scotland there is no junior school so the leap from primary to high school is a pretty big one, all of a sudden your young DC are going to be in school with kids who are almost adults. Plus there are dances and bagpipes and all sorts to get the emotions going. I was quite emotional and mine is 3 years from leaving but lots of my friends had p7's who were leaving. I don't see what's so hard to understand. Some people get emotional that their kids are growing up, and that is fine, if you don't that's fine too.

So OP, if a relative of yours dies, do you not get sad at that? After all that is 'the inevitable passing of time' too.

It is OK for you not to be emotional about your child leaving infants, but it shows a lack of empathy to not be able to understand why others might feel differently.

They may, of course, not be crying because they're 'sad'. It's something different.

Also depending on the school, it can feel a bit like an extended family, good relationships with staff, place where your dc has been happy etc. If you don't have younger children, then you're saying goodbye to a special place that you may never return to. Lots of things to tug at the heart strings. Dd is about to start gcse years but I still look back very fondly at her infant and junior school years

I didn't cry but had a lump in my throat at my Son's leavers assembly last year. Watching those kids singing together and showcasing various talents was really emotional, they've nearly all been together for 7 school years and have all achieved so much. I was proud, I was sad some were going separate ways, and also nervous about the change from primary to secondary education.

Some people were sobbing, particularly parents of kids who had many more obstacles to overcome during their years there. They sang a very emotional song at the end, I can't remember what it was but I'm sure it will come to me.

It's natural. It's also ok not to cry with these things. I don't cry at films or tv programmes, But I understand people do.

I didn't cry when my kids were born, but I don't find it strange when people do. We're all different.

Someone's had an empathy bypass...

Yes. It can be like the end of an era, especially for those families who might have their youngest child leaving a school they've had a relationship with for more than a decade. You aren't crying because you're simply sad but for much more complex reasons.

Just like you get parents crying (with pride) when they watch the nativity, or when their child gets married or all sorts of other events (both minor and major).

It's a bit odd not to be able to recognise the wide range of emotions that can be expressed through tears. And also to fail to recognise that there is an element of sadness about leaving behind a part of your life (especially where you've been happy).

it is just that a chunk of their childhood is over, it goes so quickly

listen to "slipping through my fingers" by Abba (no really, do)

it explains it.

I'm a bit evil and don't cry often, but admit I had a tear in my eye when I went to DS1's assembly yesterday where he was given an award which was the highest one they give. In fact I'm welling up just thinking of it. Being a parent is generally not a very tear-jerky thing for me but yeah, the passing of time is one of those which occasionally provokes a response.

It's more odd not to understand it, tbh.

I did at the end of primary, but then my son was going to a completely different school to his yeargroup and he'd known them all since the age of 2 at preschool.

I cry at everything, and wish I didn't, I cry for other people's children moving on because it reminds me that one day my dd will be moving from primary school to secondary...and the "inevitable passage of time" highlights our own mortality. Just thinking about that song in Mama Mia sets me off!
Yes, I am a sad sap.

I'd be looking around in dismay too!

I think I've had an empathy bypass too.

I don't understand all the sobbing at leavers assembles either, and actually I think there needs to be a lot more emphasis on celebrating achievement and being ready to move on to the next exciting phase of your life with new opportunities.

Ruby I can't listen to that ABBA song without sobbing and I RARELY cry. Something about those lyrics really gets me.

From my perspective I can say that I feel emotional at each 'last time' to do something - school etc as we only have one child (not by choice) and we only get to do each of these stages once. And it makes me ultra aware of how fast a childhood really is and it highlights that dh and I need to do everything in our power to enjoy these days and make sure that dd has the best childhood we can provide.

In the humdrum of everyday it is very easy to imagine things will always be like this and then one day - it's all over and they have grown up.

I am also very very proud and glad that she IS growing up and in no way would I wish to hold her back - she needs to do this. But privately sometimes I have a little cry about it.

I must be completely empathyless - when I started school I had no idea why some of the kids were crying. I had been looking forward to it for so long, and was so happy to start school.

People cry at graduation ceremonies all the time. I often speak to parents who cried with pride watching their child graduate. It doesn't mean they're wishing their child wasn't growing up or that they're not celebrating the achievement. It's just that it's an emotional thing and one of the ways we can express strong emotion (of various kinds) is by crying.