To not understand parents crying at the end of infant school

[SEsofty]

So today my eldest left infant school, and will be continuing onto the junior school along with ninety percent of the year.

I was surrounded by parents crying their eyes out, incredibly upset. I simply don't understand.

So could someone please explain to me why lots of people are crying simply because their child is going onto the next year of school.

Aibu to not understand?

I am with you OP. So much horror and distress in the world where few people care and yet rivers of tears when someone moves educational establishment.

"So OP, if a relative of yours dies, do you not get sad at that? After all that is 'the inevitable passing of time' too."

So equating a little change with death? Dramatic much? But I'll bite -not at old age I havent. Of course dying young and dying unexpectedly is different.

El I'm quite pleased my children grow up, as it happens.

I know a fair few people who's children will never meet those normal milestones.

Some people are emotionally anaethetised I think! How can you not feel even a tinge of sadness/melancholy that a part of your child's life is coming to an end?

There can also be an element of affective contagion. One person crying can set lots of others off.

There really is no need to look in dismay at people who aren't being all 'stiff upper lip' about everything.

I don't see it like that Helendee, at all.

"That's like being sad that the sun rises or that trees lose their leaves. It's the inevitable passing of time."

But just because something is inevitable, doesn't mean you can't be sad about it.

To continue your metaphor, I'm sure many people find autumn to be a bittersweet time, especially as they grow older and realise that they will only see Spring a few more times.

Equally, the sun rising or setting is generally not considered remarkable simply because it happen so often, but if you consider say the end of an entire year - there are also feelings of sadness and loss or regret, as well as hope for the year to come.

Do you seriously not get it? Are you secretly a little proud of yourself for "not getting it"?

Pride x

Absolutely, but I personally those feelings are ones more suited to quiet contemplation than crying in public.

Ds is moving from infants to juniors in a primary school. I still nearly cried when talking to his lovely TA this morning about how much he has come on and how much she will miss working with him.

"Today 16:31 otterlieriver

El I'm quite pleased my children grow up, as it happens.

I know a fair few people who's children will never meet those normal milestones."

See, this is one of those things in which one set of people simply don't get where another is coming from.

This is like when people say re. ageing: "its better than the alternative."

Someone who complains about getting wrinkles is not saying that they would rather be dead. They are simply expressing sadness at something -yes- inevitable. And that is ok.

Basically everyone should see things the way you do, behave the way you do and feel the way you do or they're wrong?

I agree with otter - having known many children who will not reach those milestones I couldn't possibly be sad about a child growing up and moving from one school year to the next.

At my school there isn't just the odd tear, it's full on snot bubbling hysteria.

Not in this context, really. After all, it is possible to age and not wrinkle. It is not possible to have your child be six years old forever, unless the unthinkable happens.

And yes, I do know what people mean.

I just think actually crying about it is a bit stupid (sorry.)

I'm not a crier though, really.

" those feelings are ones more suited to quiet contemplation than crying in public."

That is another thread entirely.

But since you brought it up otterlie - is it less than you don't understand people crying, more that you judge them for crying in public? Why could that be? Do you think all public crying is unacceptable? Do you consider it attention seeking?

But then I think because at one point it looked like DS wouldn't be alive to grow up that is part of the reason why I find the little steps emotional.

It's swings and roundabouts surely and everyone will respond differently. I don't cry at films but wouldn't judge someone who did!

I think it's the progression from one environment to another, even when it's what nearly everyone is doing.

I will probably cry when DD leaves primary school next week.

Didn't when she went from infants to juniors but that was in the same school.

"It is not possible to have your child be six years old forever, unless the unthinkable happens."

But nobody is saying that. Nobody would even want a perpetual 6 year old, even if it were possible.

They are simply expressing sadness that the phase is over. And perhaps that there are things that they, as parents, could have done differently.

Do you genuinely not understand that?

I think some public crying is attention seeking, yes.

Obviously, for all of us, there will be occasions where emotions get the better of us. It's not for me to say what those occasions are, but people who are genuinely upset often (not always) make an effort to hide it in some way, so all out 'wah!' at the end of a school year would make me rather

Perhaps they'd be well to start not wailing in public

"And yes, I do know what people mean.

I just think actually crying about it is a bit stupid (sorry.)"

Ah ok.

So you get it, you just don't agree with the crying?

All part of the same nonsense as graduation ceremonies for nursery & primary school, and these awful proms rather than a normal school disco nowadays.

It's not about whether I agree with it or not!

People have the right to cry in public

I have the right to think they are making tits of themselves and setting an awful example to their children.

Just to be clear there is absolutely no judging, and nor do I think there is a wrong or a right way to respond.

I'm just trying to understand why others are responding in a different way. Not because I lack empathy but rather because I want to understand.

Tbh if you're a crier you often can't help it. And it can be embarrassing. I'm very soft hearted and do tear up in empathy easily. I wish I didn't but I just can't control it. I also get the giggles in really inappropriate times and places. I'm 47..... you'd think I've be able to control it but now but I just can't.