To not understand parents crying at the end of infant school

[SEsofty]

So today my eldest left infant school, and will be continuing onto the junior school along with ninety percent of the year.

I was surrounded by parents crying their eyes out, incredibly upset. I simply don't understand.

So could someone please explain to me why lots of people are crying simply because their child is going onto the next year of school.

Aibu to not understand?

I have never cried about any school related stuff and didn't get why other parents cried.
Then my dd became a boarder and I cried every night she wasn't here for the first term.
people couldn't understand why it hit me so hard, I guess we are all different.

I cry at pretty much any intense emotion - happy, sad, frustrated - so leavers assemblies are usually tear jerker a even though my own children are still nowhere near leaving. I wasnt like this before children at all, but I think my empathy switch got stitched on with my firstborn born. It's a big step - new classroom/playground/building/staff whatever, these children feel it and I feel it watching them go though it.

And pride. I often just literally burst with pride too. Total wreck around school in July!

i cried when my ds (23) left primary school, and I am a hard bastard. they played clips of the kids and had the 'friends' theme tune as background music. it was too much!

sometimes, its just being emotional at all the children have achieved!

I love watching assemblies, but I often cry! Especially when its a special needs kid doing something! It is more of a wow! They did it!

Assuming they're actually sad is a but much if you ask me

Does it really matter in the scheme of life whether parents cry with real sadness, joy, proudness, etc, when their child leaves school?!

Personally, it doesn't concern me as to why people cry at the school gate. In other situations, yes, I would be concerned and offer any help, no matter and whatever, if I see people crying for no explicable reason whatsoever.

If those people wish to cry, it's their choice. Not mine or anybody else's. Each to their own. Live and let live...

its emotion.pride at them growing up.watching them becoming little humans.
the passing of time and watching someone you love move on.how can it be bad.
not all do it perhaps but can we put stick onto those who do.really?

Crying doesn't always mean your upset - crying is an emotion that's overwhelming you can't make yourself cry it's a feeling. I flooded at my sons leavers service they all looked so grown up and we've all know each other for years. My DS is totally ready for the next chapter and I wasn't 'upset'.

My mum recently told me she wept in the toilets after my primary school leavers assembly. I played my grade piece on the piano and won the English award. My father had died half way through year four and she was proud of how far we had come since and how much I had achieved despite the huge upheaval.

You don't know what's going on behind closed doors, OP. You don't have to understand, just be mindful that others are probably in very different journeys to you.

I knew someone would mention that awful slipping through my fingers thing....I'm afraid I'm another one with a heart of stone. I'm just always relieved one phase is over successfully and excited for the next one. Read the "off to university" threads if you want real angst. You would think the dcs were dying instead of off on a great adventure becoming independent adults. Dd graduated two weeks ago and I was so proud I could burst but it wasnt something to cry about.

I agree with OP - I used to actively avoid the school gate gang as I couldn't be doing with their over the top emotions on everything. People crying because their kid was going to a different side of the school in September and then the full on distraught mothers when they left primary school - Christ on a bike. I don't get it. Be thankful your kids are healthy and reaching these ages!! Many don't!!

I remember when they left primary and the school played Green Day's "time of your life" song. The parents were a blubbery mess ... I was holding back laughter as the official title of the song is "Good Riddance" 😂

Sleep Sorry, I wasn't referring to your post. I was thinking of far more mawkish and annoying posts/articles than yours

A columnist wrote an appalling piece of crap about her 'dead' children a few years back. It was truly dreadful. Self absorbed bollocks.
She started a twitter campaign to label anyone who called her out as 'trolls'.
I called her out

This week's leavers' asswmbly and play broke my heart. My DTs are leaving their friends and both boys themselves are off to different secondaries to their friends and each other.

Seeing their friends, hearing the songs and re-living memories was all too much for my DC. I sobbed on our drive home and shed a tear on my last pick up yesterday - despite loathing school run for years.

I think if they were moving to secondary together and with friends - and if we hadnt had such a battle and sadness with school places - it may be different.

I did not cry from infant to junior as they all went up together.

But the passing of time can be emotional. I can't get Paul Weller's 'Time Passes' out my head.

I will miss juniors so much. The boys had a strong group of friends who met on day one in reception (sobs) and we have moved area too so the change feels big right now.

I cried at my son leaving nursery, i cant believe my littls man is going intp reception he is growing to much and i cried becaise of his teachers what they said to me as he left and made me so proud xx

In my son's primary school (he was there from nursery, through to the infant's and then onto the junior's - all on the same campus, all interacting with one another at points) it wasn't so much the parents being upset about our children leaving the infants and going into the next building for juniors... it was the teaching staff! You would have thought they'd never see their little pupils ever again, the way they carried on about it... rather than seeing them every playtime, every morning for the school assemblies, interacting with them at points during classes, and on "special" school days. It was ludicrous. I remember a lot of us actually being very cross about the fact that our children were crying and carrying on about "having" to leave the infants as though we were carting them off to Siberia, or somewhere else out of reach!

Their school leavers assembly in Yr 6, however... I went thinking that it was just going to be the last time we'd all assemble together to watch our little darlings sing their hearts out and put on a play for us... and didn't pack any tissues, because, c'mon! No one actually cries at these things, do they?! I didn't at my daughter's (different school to my son - she went to separate infant and junior schools, and neither of us shed a tear when she left either!) after all, so why would I need tissues...?!

Thank God for my neighbour, who was also there, and her endless supply of tissues is all that I can say! She was handing them out along the row of parents, sobbing herself, as the tears rolled down all of our faces. It sounds ridiculous, but I'm actually welling up now, just thinking about the leavers assembly - and my son's going into Yr 8 in September!!! Still surrounded by all of his friends from primary school, a tight little group who've known one another since they were 3 years old, so it's not even as though anything other than the level of their education has changed, really.

Ludicrous!

(The Yr 6 teachers, however, all had very serene smiles on their faces and not a tear in sight... obviously my son's year chafed a little and they were glad the end was near...!)

I'm usually a heart of stone person but I find it moving. Ours is a small junior school. Warm, friendly and caring. A very special place in a big city. Very few of the kids go onto the same high school. Like someone said up thread the children have all known one another for 7yrs and look after each other. It is sad to leave that familiarity. DS has SEN so having him happy and settled is a huge thing and the potential turbulence of change will no doubt make me shed a tear.

I might bring little whisky bottles to DS's Leaver's Assembly. Or a flask to pass around .

I am so glad I am not the only one who is at parents getting so over emotional about their children growing up.

Everyone just fucked off home when I was a kid

Yes, its a big thing these days , so many different things going on, proms in year 11, special parties and assemblies. Nothing like that in the 70s!

I had a tear in my eye when ds1 had his graduation from year 6 to start high school after summer. Can't believe he's now in year 8!!! No tears till he leaves year 12!!! He got an award which made tear up with pride.
Ds 2 will have his graduation this year from year 6. His dad , my dh is in the navy and will miss it. This will make me have a tear in my eye. I will be happy and proud of him also.

I cried really badly when both my kids left nursery. I was a mess. I didn't want to be. I couldn't help it and it wasn't because I was sad, I was happy too, and proud; the end of an era thing just got me. I have also had tears in my eyes at school plays and even easter bonnet parades, so I must be a sad sap. When my eldest left primary I was just about ok managed it with just a lump in my throat. When my youngest leaves I know it will be bad. He cries every year watching the leaving assemblies so I know that will make me worse. Primary is so lovely though, I have loved it all. It's not that I want to stop the passage of time, just that we will never have it again. It makes me very tearful thinking this with another year to go!!

I'll be crying I even well up thinking about it. Schools been totally amazing for my kids and I am crying as I feel so blessed that they had such a great time. ..Happy tears

My DD left primary school yesterday. I admit to shedding a tear or two but was not as tearful as I had been for her elder 3 siblings, partly because her final two years had been marred by friendship issues (more parental than child, ie parent picking on her) and also a new head in final year, whom I didn't particularly warm to. DD is my youngest and have 4 children so have had a child at same school since Jan 2000.

DD, through her own choice, is going to a different secondary school to her siblings, so will be starting on unfamiliar territory. I am happy she is becoming increasingly independent, but feel sad that she seems to be growing up so much quicker than her siblings did.

The whole crying thing has got silly. So me parents do it because that's what everyone expects.

Why on earth are so many people so judgemental?!

People cry for so many reasons and none of us is in a position to judge.
People cry with sadness, yes, because their child may have overcome huge SEN obstacles that you're completely unaware of. Or maybe they're crying with joy, happiness, relief and all manner of mixed emotions. It's not some competitive sport amongst the mothers of year 6 leavers for which the winner is rewarded with a box of tissues. "We would like to congratulate Mrs Bloggs for being the most hysterically upset mother, here today, who has made it abudently clear at just how upset and distressed she really is by shedding the most tears and using absolutely all the toilet tissue in the school."

In my case I had to take in a child with SEN issues and I couldn't just drop them off at the school gate, so I had no choice. I think I shed three tears with absolutely sheer bloody relief that I wasn't going to go through that awful gaggle of really judgemental bitches(ever again) who wanted my DH and I to sell our house to one of them at a substantially reduced price, especially for them. They told me to my face that we'd never get the asking price in a million years! At the time I just shrugged my shoulders and said "let's wait and see". In the meantime though I had to go through that bitching gauntlet for quite a few months until contracts were finally exchanged and I could let on. They were really and truly put out and behaved as though I'd committed some awful crime like buying all the Proseco🍾 in the local supermarket. God forbid!. Goodness can't women be bitchy🙄!*

Imagine my glee when we were able to tell them that we'd not only had I got the asking price, but 10k on top and got the next house very substantially reduced, by five figures, not including pence! Their faces were a picture at the school gate. They thought I was lying until I told them straight that you can check (after a certain period of time), online and they were welcome to, by all means. My OH leaves me to do the wheeler dealing anyway, as I'm renowned for my skills in that department, in my extended family. My couple of tears, about three(!), were in the car, on leavers day, due to sheer and utter joy, mixed with a massive relief that I'd never have to see those bitches again for quite a long time. I also knew I'd have the last laugh too😂. My DC were going onto a different school and were extremely happy about it.

The next time I saw those bitches was at secondary school where they found out that I was their little darlings English teacher and they could do sweet sod all about it. And, very importantly to me, was that I treated their child like anybody else's. After all, it wasn't the child's fault that their mother's behaved so atrociously.

KARMA was so sweet though, for that gaggle of bitches.😂

Something that someone commented upon about the teacher's behaviour and them crying. I can guarantee that in every staff room up and down the country, that I've ever been in, the teachers actually count down the months, weeks, days and lessons until the end of the school year! 😂 Seriously.

The only time I've really cried is when one of my pupils has died😢, of which there have been several.That is because I recognise how truly precious life is and how tragic it is for a young person to have their lives so cruelly taken away so early. I think of all the adventures that life has to offer and that they'll never be able to experience them. I am also acutely aware of the parents feelings too, because of my own experiences. Speaking as an objective parent, I'd want a teacher to care and respect my child and most definitely not be a hollow, shell like teacher with no feeelings.The last time I spoke to such a parent was actually very recently and it helped her fill in some missing gaps and what part I had in her DC's life. She was understandably upset, but in a genuine, interested sort of way. She was grateful that I actually cared about her DC's welfare a huge amount, to the extent I saved DC's life on the first occasion. It definitely gave her family more precious time of a couple of years with them. She said that I'd helped her in several respects, mainly guilt, but also fill in some timeline gaps and at the very least made her day. That meant an awful lot to me too. Teachers are human after all! ❤️