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AIBU?

Is DPs ex taking the piss?

215 replies

Dukesofhazzard · 14/07/2017 23:12

So DP had arranged with his ex to get kids tomorrow at 2pm. The reason he said this time is because he's working night-shift til 10.00am and he needs to get a few hours sleep before he gets them. It wasn't arranged that he was having them but she asked and he said the above was the earliest he could take them.

I have plans tomorrow so I couldn't help her out as I have sometimes in the past if he's just came off a night-shift. Anyway, she text him tonight at work and said that the 'people' she had watching the kids up til 2pm can't do it anymore and she would just drop them at our house 10.30am. I have arrangements already made for tomorrow morning, leaving the house at 11am. So DP will have to look after the kids after a 14 hour shift and no sleep. I know he'll just fall asleep on the couch and kids will be left to their own devices. DC are 10 and 7 but 7 year old has SN and needs supervision.

She has a history of arranging things and changing them at the last minute and it's too late to do anything about it. I feel really annoyed that I have to change my plans for her, especially as I don't believe she had morning cover arranged and arranged this knowing she'd change it at the last minute. If I don't do this DP gets no sleep and she won't have child-care while she's at work. AIBU to be really pissed off?

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AlongcameMolly · 17/07/2017 14:28

Dukesofhazzard

So your answering for Phoenix.now?
Her dp's ex does NOT have the power to cut contact between the dc and their father/ grandparents. IF she was that way inclined, possibly for the short term, that's why family courts exist.

If the dp took her to court he will be given every opportunity to see his child, unless the mother could proove he and the grandparents are unfit to have contact.

I have to say that BOTH yourself and Phoenix try to come across as 'holier than thou' whilst your dps ex's are the 'devil incarnate'.
Funny how these women are so bad, (with Phoenix having the misfortune of her poor dp having a child with a 'psycho') yet your dps are happy to leave THEIR children in their care. How crazy is that?

You both come across as highly strung and are clearly foul mouthed. And I feel sorry for your partners dc that you are part of their lives.

I gather your both not married? .... if that's the case and your moaning and whinging like hell now.... God help them if you get that ring on your fingers!

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JuicyStrawberry · 17/07/2017 14:35

What's with the assumption that the op is jealous? You're allowed to dislike someone without being remotely jealous of them!

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phoenixtherabbit · 17/07/2017 14:36

So your answering forPhoenix.now?
Her dp's ex does NOT have the power to cut contact between the dc and their father/ grandparents. IF she was that way inclined, possibly for the short term, that's why family courts exist.

If the dp took her to court he will be given every opportunity to see his child, unless the mother couldproovehe and the grandparents are unfit to have contact.

I have to say that BOTH yourself and Phoenix try to come across as 'holier than thou' whilst your dps ex's are the 'devil incarnate'.
Funny how these women are so bad, (with Phoenix having the misfortune of her poor dp having a child with a 'psycho') yet your dps are happy to leave THEIR children in their care. How crazy is that?

You both come across as highly strung and are clearly foul mouthed. And I feel sorry for your partners dc that you are part of their lives.

I gather your both not married? .... if that's the case and your moaning and whinging like hell now.... God help them if you get that ring on your fingers!

I'll address your ignorance one point at a time.

grandparents actually have absolutely NO RIGHT to access in law. As previously stated they're uninterested now anyway.

when ss lived with her he took her to mediation and very nearly court. If yoy had any understanding of the situation AT ALL you'd know how long the process can take and how expensive it can be.

I'm definitely not holier than thou but id say I'm at least marginally better than a woman who threatened to have myself and my partner killed, and my unborn child. I've also never physically assaulted anyone and I certainly don't talk about her in front of her son like she does me. I'm not perfect but I'm not anywhere near as volatile and unpredictable as she is.

my ss is not in her care, he is in my care, dear.

thanks I'm sure ss will appreciate your concerns.

nope not married but pretty sure he'd be happier married to a shit stepmother who is foul mouthed and moans and whinges, than someone as ignorant, judgemental and closed minded as you

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mydogmymate · 17/07/2017 14:46

How nasty is that post Phoenix? Relationships break down and people form new lives so the childcare & access arrangements need to be fluid. Not just for the parent with custody but the other parent too. This is the real world & people take the piss.

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Dukesofhazzard · 17/07/2017 14:47

OP I don't understand what you find confusing about my posts. Reread them
I don't need to re-read them. You're wrong.

I said the mum is the RP and does the vast majority of the parenting
Once again, no she doesn't - her parents do.

My point was that seeing that your dp doesn't pull his weight equally as a parent can he not just suck it up this time. He owes her surely
Where are you getting that he doesn't pull his weight? He owes her? for what? Seriously, please tell me.

Her dp's ex does NOT have the power to cut contact between the dc and their father/ grandparents
Yes she does.

I have to say that BOTH yourself and Phoenix try to come across as 'holier than thou' whilst your dps ex's are the 'devil incarnate'
I know how you're coming across.

You both come across as highly strung and are clearly foul mouthed. And I feel sorry for your partners dc that you are part of their lives
Right No way near what I'm like. I feel sorry for your exs partner, there's obviously an issue going on with you. I seen you on another thread spitting pure venom about your DCs stepmother, poor woman.

I gather your both not married? .... if that's the case and your moaning and whinging like hell now.... God help them if you get that ring on your finger
What difference does a ring and a piece of paper matter?

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Dukesofhazzard · 17/07/2017 14:50

AlongcameMolly
Right so it appears your DCs step-mother was the OW, awful situation, I've had that happen to me so I can somewhat sympathize but not all step-mothers are the OW. You seem to be tarring step-mothers with the one big massive brush. You need to seriously chill out.

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AlongcameMolly · 17/07/2017 15:17

Dukesofhazzard

Yes my dcs ex stepmum is a nasty piece of work. That's why I can see people like her a MILE off.

I'm not tarring people with the same brush as many stepmothers are great. Mine was lovely.

And I do have experience with family courts thankyou

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AlongcameMolly · 17/07/2017 15:18

Ps its not me who needs to 'chill out' judging by your posts

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Dukesofhazzard · 17/07/2017 15:29

Yes my dcs ex stepmum is a nasty piece of work. That's why I can see people like her a MILE off
You really, really can't. Your views of stepmothers are blinkered because of your own experience. Do you think you're the only person in the world that has been wronged? My exs OW was a complete bitch who tried to ruin my life purely because I had his DC, nothing else. You have a vendetta against step-mothers, the way you spoke on the step-parenting boards to some people was a disgrace.

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phoenixtherabbit · 17/07/2017 15:30

alongcamemolly then you should know that grandparents don't have any rights to access

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phoenixtherabbit · 17/07/2017 15:31

Oh so I'm a nasty piece of work? Makes loads of sense considering I do nearly all the parenting of ss while his dad works long hours and his mum cba with him.

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AlongcameMolly · 17/07/2017 15:43

Phoenix

Fathers have rights. And if the father wants to take his child to spend time with their grandparents, there's nothing the mother can do about it.

Dukesofhazzard

How can my views of step mother's be blinkered when I've just said that many are great and mine was lovely?

I've not posted on the step boards for God knows how long. Probably 18 months or more, I don't know. Therefore, you've obviously gone looking at my username to try and 'dig up' what you can about me. Pretty sad really that you have resorted to that. Clearly, I've hit a nerve with you. Maybe I'm right in my assumption that you are jealous of your dps ex.

For what its worth. My ex sent my dcs stepmum packing when HE eventually realised how she was treating our children. She'd convinced him that I was the 'psycho' from hell etc etc.

Luckily her fake persona shone through in the end. My ex has also since apologised to me for taking everything she said to him at face value.

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Dukesofhazzard · 17/07/2017 15:53

How can my views of step mother's be blinkered when I've just said that many are great and mine was lovely
Because you're on here bashing step-mothers who are looking after their DSC and have their best interests at heart. Just because we say their mothers are selfish, doesn't mean we don't do the best for the children.

Therefore, you've obviously gone looking at my username to try and 'dig up' what you can about me. Pretty sad really that you have resorted to that. Clearly, I've hit a nerve with you. Maybe I'm right in my assumption that you are jealous of your dps ex
Your irrational anger made me think that you have issues with step-mothers and low and behold I was right. The search function is there for a reason, why should I not use it?

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Dukesofhazzard · 17/07/2017 15:54

For what its worth. My ex sent my dcs stepmum packing when HE eventually realised how she was treating our children. She'd convinced him that I was the 'psycho' from hell etc etc

Yeah so did mine, so what?

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Dukesofhazzard · 17/07/2017 15:56

Oh so I'm a nasty piece of work? Makes loads of sense considering I do nearly all the parenting of ss while his dad works long hours and his mum cba with him

Fair play to you, he's lucky to have you.

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JuicyStrawberry · 17/07/2017 16:10

Just because we say their mothers are selfish, doesn't mean we don't do the best for the children.

Also, I doubt you think all mothers are selfish as well. I'm a mum and I don't feel offended by the things you have said about another mum. I'm certainly not itching to jump to the defence of someone who doesn't sound very nice just because she's a fellow mum.

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phoenixtherabbit · 17/07/2017 16:20

She'd convinced him that I was the 'psycho' from hell etc etc

That's the difference - dp never said a bad word about her. Why would he? She was fine! I gave SEEN her psycho behaviour with my own eyes. I've heard her shouting and screaming in the street. I've seen the texts saying she's going to have us killed and about my baby. I saw her punch dp in the face. A normal person doesn't do those things do they?

He didn't need to tell me. He isn't making her out to be something she isn't - I have experienced all her behaviour first hand.

I also noticed how you have no clever retort now you realise I do probably 90% more parenting of ss than his mum does.

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Oswin · 17/07/2017 17:01

Grandparents, and anyone in a child's life can apply to the courts for permission to apply for access.
This would apply to ops dp as well.

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AlongcameMolly · 17/07/2017 21:19

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Lottie991 · 17/07/2017 21:32

Alongcamemolly you sound unhinged...

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AlongcameMolly · 17/07/2017 21:53

No not unhinged Lottie. Just not an idiot.

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Fruitcorner123 · 17/07/2017 21:54

Even if the ex is a 'pyscho' as you label her, they obviously prefer her over you. That tells me you are worse than her.

what on earth are you on about!?The ex is their mother of course they prefer her!

OP I cant believe this thread is still going but you are receiving so much abuse on here I wanted you to know I for one think you are in the right and have come across as a great stepmum. If I were you I would walk away from this thread now, the weekend has been and gone you stepped up for the kids and you don' have to answer to all these people. I have no idea why they don't get it but they clearly don't.

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AlongcameMolly · 17/07/2017 21:57

Fruitcorner.

I'm on about the Grandparents preferring the ex, NOT the children. Why not read the thread properly before you comment?

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Lottie991 · 17/07/2017 22:05

Really your not an idiot?
Your posts say different

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Dukesofhazzard · 17/07/2017 22:10

Oh and don't pretend you have dps childrens best interests at heart because you clearly don't. You slate their mother for having the 'audacity' to drop HIS children off to him when he's tired and its not his day

AlongcameMolly ^
So why did I look after them then

Get over yourself
You are soooooo angry and unreasonable that I look forward to what nonsense is coming next.

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