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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ds has forgotten its own clothes day at school and is there in his uniform. Am I unreasonable not to take some clothes in for him to change into

215 replies

hmcAsWas · 14/07/2017 09:03

I should point out we live rurally some 17 miles from school and it is a 1 hour round trip.

I have already driven him and his sister in this morning - he didn't realise until we got to the school gates and he saw his mates. I reminded him about it yesterday but he'd forgotten by this morning, and it wasn't on my radar as I had already told him.

He is in Y8. There are a couple of other boys that I spotted that had forgotten. They looked as forlorn as him. He is bound to be the subject of 'banter' from his peers, and I know that he will hate this (he can be oversensitive)

I don't feel that I should not have to waste another hour of my morning driving in and also that he should own his mistakes...but I also feel guilty for not driving in Sad

OP posts:
oldtrees · 14/07/2017 21:53

hmcAsWas good for you.

Demonstrating how to be kind and caring
is an important lesson too.

osteo1 · 15/07/2017 20:53

As your son is year 8, the answer is no. He needs to learn to be pro active and organise his kit, school bag, clothes etc the night before. He will learn from the consequences of his actions. You wouldn't dare go in at break time to watch what he does and he would hate this, so let him learn. As a teacher, I see so many parents bailing their children out of things and they do not learn and frequently this becomes a big problem in year 11 and onwards.

oldtrees · 15/07/2017 21:35

osteo1 maybe try reading the thread!

TurquoiseOwl · 16/07/2017 00:17

You definitely did the right thing Smile

sogimaba · 16/07/2017 07:55

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sogimaba · 16/07/2017 07:58

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sogimaba · 16/07/2017 08:10

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SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 16/07/2017 08:36

I've bailed out my DS in year1. I hadn't got a clue until we turned up in the playground and it was a sea of blue not the usual red. This was a Monday morning, so not a likely day like Red Nose. It turned out that the school sent out the notification on the Friday at lunchtime by email. Hmm I was away at an event and had no phone signal so no access to emails until getting home late Sunday evening. Fortunately I wasn't working and live close by so by 9:10 I was able to join the queue of parents in reception who had also missed the memo Grin

The previous year DS had to ride out the whole day. I didn't have a clue until he was picked up shortly before 6pm and the other last stragglers at after school club were in their own clothes. The school had notified but the communication system is so fragmented, an email here, a text there, a slip of paper screwed up in the bag or just mentioned on the calendar at the start of the year never to be referred to again until the day. It's difficult to check the information back! I was mortified. I teach and have always felt sorry for the children in the wrong clothing and had done it to my child in his first ever term. It taught me that I have to get everything in my calendar immediately because it's so difficult to trace school information back. I couldn't bail him out on that occasion as I was on a mad rush of a solo run dropping him off bang on 8, and being in work by 8:30 in another town having another drop off en-route which was always a tight mission.

OP has gone beyond the call of duty, but it seems to have been appreciated. Smile

Nefer795 · 16/07/2017 08:39

Reported spam.

TheProdigalRhubarb · 16/07/2017 09:06

Well done op. My Mum was always doing this sort of thing for me. I lost her many years ago, and I treasure the memories of her going out of her way to rescue me from my own daft incompetence.

Ginorchoc · 16/07/2017 09:15

My year 8 daughter forgot her PE kit recently, her school is a 48 mile round trip but I took it in, first time she had forgotten something, was up to her eyes in exams, and end of year activities, lists etc. If she does it again I wouldn't but not being perfect myself I was happy to assist this time.

LittleIda · 16/07/2017 09:44

Good for you op.

lilujay · 19/07/2017 12:53

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tamaramcnamara · 19/07/2017 22:51

YWNBU to get his clothes for him but at same time I would not think you were BU if you didn't. (sorry, that is probably not helpful). I guess if it were me, I would worry about the "banter" issue, as kids can be nasty about things like clothes. But I can see the other side of it too.

tamaramcnamara · 19/07/2017 22:56

OverTheHammer That is awful. Teachers should know better.
Flowers

I used to hate non-uniform days because of worrying about teasing and bullying because my clothes weren't very trendy and i did get bullied quite a lot

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