Ds has forgotten its own clothes day at school and is there in his uniform. Am I unreasonable not to take some clothes in for him to change into

[hmcAsWas]

I should point out we live rurally some 17 miles from school and it is a 1 hour round trip.

I have already driven him and his sister in this morning - he didn't realise until we got to the school gates and he saw his mates. I reminded him about it yesterday but he'd forgotten by this morning, and it wasn't on my radar as I had already told him.

He is in Y8. There are a couple of other boys that I spotted that had forgotten. They looked as forlorn as him. He is bound to be the subject of 'banter' from his peers, and I know that he will hate this (he can be oversensitive)

I don't feel that I should not have to waste another hour of my morning driving in and also that he should own his mistakes...but I also feel guilty for not driving in

[Disillusionedone]

i would do it. i remember being that age.

[Disillusionedone]

well done for being lovely and doing it :)

[seventhgonickname]

He will be ragged more if he changes,no one takes any notice past the first 5 mins.I also don't think you're doing him any long term favour running after him as he doesn't have to remember as you will do it for him.

[Therealslimshady1]

He owes you

I sent in DS (y7) in full costume for red nose day (big poncho, mexican hat, drawn on moustache) only to get a text from a friend saying "WTF! Saw your DS at bus stop, they do NOT dress up at secondary school!")

I could not rescue him, I was out all day.

DS decided to ride it out, there was no hiding! He got teased/banter but replied to everyone in a Spanish accent and pretended he did not know what the fuss was about.

Some of the older kids in our village told him he was cool and a legend and high fived him.

In the end it worked well for him, he did it again the next year as "his thing" (and fund raiser)

...but it could have so easily gone the other way

We still laugh about it

[BraveBear]

No-one should be annoyed at you taking his clothes in. It's your day. But I was amused at someone calling you 'brutal' for considering not doing it. He wasn't naked...

[chocolateworshipper]

Definitely get something from him in return OP!

[Casmama]

I think you did the right thing OP.
You know your son and what the school is like so although many people said no, and I may even have been one of them, you know how important it was to him and his effusive thanks proves that.
Definite parental brownie points for you

[Trollspoopglitter]

Good for you OP. At 13, it was all going to be your fault for not reminding him this morning and what he would have remembered - in that endearing teenage world that revolves around him - is you refusing to help him out when you could have. I certainly remember moments where my mum came to the rescue and decades later remember my embarrassment, my mistake, AND her rescuing the situation what had to potential to be so much worse.

[MagicMoneyTree]

I did this as a kid. He'll be over it by the time you've driven all that way. I wouldn't bother and I wouldn't have expected my mum to do it at his age. He'll live.

[MagicMoneyTree]

Sorry- clearly hadn't RTFT

[cushioncovers]

Yanbu he won't be the only one.

[Noodoodle]

Lovely OP, very nice of you I have a 25 minute walk each way for dd or ds schools and have done the same thing before for each of them (pe kits, instruments, dinner money). Adults forget things as well as kids, they're only human and when it happens it can be miserable. A bit of kindness like that (if you're otherwise not too busy) can really lift the day.

It's easy to think it's silly things they can do without because they're kids, but school is their work or other important event and they don't like to be forgetting things any more than we do.

BrieAndChilli I've never, ever heard (seen) anyone else use the expression "mufti" except for my last manager! In my old office they had casual clothes on fridays and anyone who took part paid into a kitty. The first time I was asked for "mufti money" I thought she was nuts. Brilliant word though.

[SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning]

You're a lovely mum. :) This doesn't mean that he doesn't need to learn from his mistake. He can pay you back in chores. Then, he's learned that kindness is to be cherished but mistakes have consequences. Win win.

[User843022]

Lovely thing to do but I do think you're mad. At 13 they should learn to take stuff like this on the chin. At primary I'd have done it, not secondary.

DD had a panic as she'd forgotten her PE kit and would get a behaviour point. I couldn't drop it off even if I wanted to, but she learnt and next time her PE kit was all ready at the door.

They learn by having to think for themselves, not having parents running round after them, unless its an emergency.

[grannytomine]

He's a big boy, he will probably get more teasing about mum coming to his rescue than about the clothes.

[burntoutmum]

I would

And I'm in almost exactly the same position as you OP- 15 miles from school and DS is in year 8

[Sparkletastic]

Bless you OP he was obviously grateful. And I must admit I was boggling at you living an hour from their schools. Half an hour is definitely doable.

[Migraleve]

I would have taken clothes. I'm not sure that not giving your child the clothes will teach them to remember In future.

I'm 40 and I still forget things. Fortunately we are a thoughtful and kind family so someone would bring me forgotten items rather than try to 'teach me a lesson'

[Migraleve]

Sorry I missed your update OP. Glad you took them in, your DS will absolutely remember this. I think teaching our kids that we care and are there for them is a much better lesson than making them suffer because they forgot something.

[hmcAsWas]

Thanks all - for not being too hard on me

[gluteustothemaximus]

I would and have done, and DS has been very grateful

But we do live just a 20 minute walk, so it was easier for me.

I think teaching our kids that we care and are there for them is a much better lesson than making them suffer because they forgot something.

^This^

[00100001]

He can just "strip down" to his trousers and shirt and be fine.

[Lynnm63]

I have a ds in yr 8. I wouldn't have taken it in, just told him to take his tie and blazer off. Having said that ds wouldn't have cared and his elder brother would stop the piss being taken out of him at lunchtime.TBF it's a very good school with very little bullying or piss taking.

[AntiopeofThemyscira]

Good for you OP