To troll this wedding dress code, just a bit...

[badgeronthedrums]

Right, I've NC for this (been here since the dark ages) and am going to have to be a bit vague with the details because it's very, very outing and I suspect that some of the other parties are on here.

We've been invited to a wedding and we cannot refuse the invitation, not at all, the kind of thing where the only valid excuse would be being dead. So we said we'd come, DH and I. It turns out that the dress code is black fucking tie.

Now there's a whole other argument about dictating to people in this rather expensive way, but there's also a more practical problem. DH is not a suit person; he does not own one, he did not even wear a jacket to his own wedding. If he hires an outfit, he will look like a waiter. If he buys something, he will never ever wear it again.

I have two questions.

Does he have any choice?

Can the hive mind think creatively and find him something to wear that doesn't cost £700? (he's over 40 and doesn't have an iota of Scottish blood in him). If it was just a little bit annoying this would be even better. I am thinking sequins but he is not.

Start trawling the charity shops?

You can hire outfits that don't make you look like a waitor! Try some of the central london places. Or ask friends of a similar size / ebay.

Post a message to your FB friends incase anyone has one they're willing to loan?

Black tie as in Scottish evening jacket and kilt, or black tie and DJ? Neither look like waiters.

Either way, ask around and borrow one off a friend/contact and pay for the dry cleaning afterwards.

Often see them in charity shops too.

Ebay will be your friend. You can always sell it on.

Does it have to be a kilt since you mention Scottish blood? You can hire a very good quality kilt/outfit (absolutely everything except a shirt) for £50/60 x

You can get a cheap DJ & dress trousers in somewhere like Matalan for about £50 ...or hire for a similar price but would be better quality and better fitting (but you only get it for the day)

Alternatively, if he just wore black trousers with a white shirt and a dicky bow and didn't bother with a DJ that might be ok depending on the venue and type of people you are dealing with (should be ok unless were talking about the aristocracy or very upper class crowd)

Go to a decent hire shop and ask them for an appropriate outfit, we have a fantastic old fashioned gentlemen's retailer locally who will hire you a suitable suit. Avoid anywhere that claims to cater to the prom type market, follow the tweed 😎

Sadly we're not anywhere near central London.

He's not a suit person, so really will not look comfortable in black tie at all. Hence the waiter comments.

So do you all think that this dress code is OK and we just need to suck it up? Am happy to be told that this is the case.

Sadly I already have a dress, otherwise I might have gone in a tuxedo too...

He doesn't have any Scottish blood.

Just hire evening dress from Slater's. Lots of choice for personalising with waistcoat/tie. Yes it's an expense but no more than buying a new wedding outfit.

Matalan? You can get the whole shebang for under £100.

M&S do them too - DH bought his there and it looks lovely on and I can't tell it's an off the peg suit - although I wouldn't know a bespoke one if I fell over it.

If he doesn't have a suit, then anything was going to be tricky. At least you can hire a black tie suit easily and relatively cheaply.

I think dress codes are controlling and rude. Going to weddings costs enough without being told what you have to wear. Jeans, t-shirt and an actual black tie. Maybe a t shirt with a picture of a black tie on it.

Hire one. He'll feel more uncomfortable if he's the only person there not wearing it.

I think I would hire.

Does he have any regional connections to anywhere? There is a Cornish tartan (it's a horrific mustard colour if that helps? ) there may be other regional dress he could create a tenuous connection to?

We've been invited to a wedding and we cannot refuse the invitation, not at all, the kind of thing where the only valid excuse would be being dead.

No such wedding.

If he hires an outfit, he will look like a waiter.

It's black tie. All the men are going to look like upmarket waiters!

I think the dress code is okay. If I was going to attend I'd comply rather than rebel against it for no particular reason.

Matalan actually used to do decent ones for very little. Dh hates spending money on clothes so went for cheapest passable option.

He usually goes to weddings in smart trousers and a funky Paul Smith-type shirt, so it's not usually that tricky.

Are Slaters much better than Moss Bros? Would be an extra 45 minutes journey if we did that.

Reasonably common to have black tie for a late afternoon/evening wedding where the reception will be more like a dinner dance. Also it's possible that bride and groom love formal evening wear.
Your dh can borrow a plain black suit from a friend, and wear with white shirt and black bow tie. Minimal cost!

carart that's my feeling too, I have to say.

DailyMail well, yes technically we could not go but all of one side of the family would never speak to us again.

He won't look like a waiter. He'll look like a man in evening dress.

He doesn't have to wear a bow tie, lots of men wear a black tie.

This chap looks pretty smart...