To troll this wedding dress code, just a bit...

[badgeronthedrums]

Right, I've NC for this (been here since the dark ages) and am going to have to be a bit vague with the details because it's very, very outing and I suspect that some of the other parties are on here.

We've been invited to a wedding and we cannot refuse the invitation, not at all, the kind of thing where the only valid excuse would be being dead. So we said we'd come, DH and I. It turns out that the dress code is black fucking tie.

Now there's a whole other argument about dictating to people in this rather expensive way, but there's also a more practical problem. DH is not a suit person; he does not own one, he did not even wear a jacket to his own wedding. If he hires an outfit, he will look like a waiter. If he buys something, he will never ever wear it again.

I have two questions.

Does he have any choice?

Can the hive mind think creatively and find him something to wear that doesn't cost £700? (he's over 40 and doesn't have an iota of Scottish blood in him). If it was just a little bit annoying this would be even better. I am thinking sequins but he is not.

can I just say that black tie implies a bow tie, and a dinner jacket should never be worn with a straight tie!

DH hires black tie on rare occasions he's not even a tie person never mind suits. A hired suit will look great and fit properly. Don't get one from eBay or tesco! I'm sure he won't look like a waiter, don't judge until he's tried it.

For black tie i have attended it is perfectly acceptable these days for men to just where a black suit and a normal white shirt with an actual black tie (not bow tie). Also seen people where a smart blazer and different coloured trousers. I think if you carry what you are wearing with confidence it rarely matters.

cambodianfoxhound I'm not sure I agree. If you're a late teens/very early 20s guy maybe you can get away with it, but as grown gentleman? You might not be asked to leave but a good few people will question the sophistication and attitude of as man in 'actual black tie'

Casper,

"Evening dress should not be seen in public before the cocktail hour."

The OP hasn't said anything about where the bride and groom come from. It's clear that the wedding is taking place in this country, though, so I think the assumption should be that they're British unless the OP tells us otherwise.

Firstly there is far more than just dress codes that are ridiculous about modern day weddings.

However if the couple have advised a dress code it's good manners to follow it. Dress codes are not there to dictate what you should wear, they're there to give a guide as to what will be appropriate on the day given the location, company etc and so that no one goes significantly one way or another and ends up feeling uncomfortable. It's actually there to help you, I prefer a dress code!

It's likely if they've chosen black tie to be a pretty plush affair therefore I think he'd feel pretty uncomfortable in a Paul Smith shirt! He's not 12 years old.

Personally unless it's a beach wedding or similar I think it's unacceptable for men to not wear a jacket of some discription as a mark of respect for the occasion and especially if it's a church ceremony.

So basically if you have to go, then hire a suit for him and let that be the end of it. Why would you want to stand out, to make a point - how crass.