To troll this wedding dress code, just a bit...

[badgeronthedrums]

Right, I've NC for this (been here since the dark ages) and am going to have to be a bit vague with the details because it's very, very outing and I suspect that some of the other parties are on here.

We've been invited to a wedding and we cannot refuse the invitation, not at all, the kind of thing where the only valid excuse would be being dead. So we said we'd come, DH and I. It turns out that the dress code is black fucking tie.

Now there's a whole other argument about dictating to people in this rather expensive way, but there's also a more practical problem. DH is not a suit person; he does not own one, he did not even wear a jacket to his own wedding. If he hires an outfit, he will look like a waiter. If he buys something, he will never ever wear it again.

I have two questions.

Does he have any choice?

Can the hive mind think creatively and find him something to wear that doesn't cost £700? (he's over 40 and doesn't have an iota of Scottish blood in him). If it was just a little bit annoying this would be even better. I am thinking sequins but he is not.

Ivory do you think we could get away with that? If so, he might buy a decent suit, he's been talking about doing that anyway.

BenLui upmarket waiter

Sequinny dress?

How about a Nehru jacket - a bit different and would definitely not look like a waiter - they look rather good with a wing collar dress shirt - with or without a bow tie? Ebay have a number for less than £30 which are ex hire - so its not exactly breaking the bank.

Alternatively buy a secondhand DJ on ebay - plenty at around the and then get it tailored to fit him nicely at your local dry cleaners. A word of warning - if he goes for a black dj then he should try and get one with trousers as it is very hard to match dj and trousers. Alternatively get a white jacket rather than a black one - not as many on ebay but still a good choice at £50 - then there is less worry about matching trousers to jacket.

Primark you can get a suit for £40! They have some nice fashionable designs too.

What about a very large scout uniform?

Or some kind of vice admiral thing, with the big feathery helmet?

I think the dress code is quite fun, most people would enjoy dressing up. We went to a wedding with the same dress code. I bought a lovely evening dress from tk maxx online (better selection than in the shops) for £30, my husband bought a tuxedo from Asda! Very inexpensive and it was lovely to see everyone dressed up. It was a wintery wedding and really fit with the venue. I think you should suck it up. A lot of people of MN can be quite negative about attending weddings or putting any effort into attending weddings which I don't really understand. If you are close enough to the couple to have been invited, why wouldn't you want to make the effort and join in and enjoy the day?
Just my opinion though!

Or, ooh, a bear outfit, like Mark Wallinger did at the Turner exhibition a couple of years ago. He can do it as an art piece.

BeyondDrinks You can get sequinned tuxedos, a la Martin Fry, but he's not having any of it.

LondonMummy That's not a bad idea, and might be something he could actually wear afterwards.

As much as I dislike prescriptive dress codes at weddings, I suspect your DH and his lack of suit-wearing might be part of the reason they've felt they have to specify!

Being a 'suit person' isn't a genetic trait - if he's wearing a suit, he becomes a suit person. Ergo, he needs to hire a suit.

He might however just be able to match a jacket to existing trousers, if he's lucky.

Minister yyy to all of those. Just thinking of them makes me feel better.

Or he could go in a ball gown if that's more his thing?!

badgeronthedrums what size is your OH?

Primark do suits - quality doesn't matter if he won't wear it again.

I dont think it's bad as dress codes go. I know someone who had Edwardian costume as the dress code!

As much as I dislike prescriptive dress codes at weddings, I suspect your DH and his lack of suit-wearing might be part of the reason they've felt they have to specify
I would disagree.
It's perfectly possible for men to look smart at a wedding without stating a black tie dress code. We had a full mix of suits, shirts and trousers etc at our wedding and all the men looked great.

Unless you are in a social group who regularly attend formal events, black tie dress codes to me scream "the photos matter most to us", but that's just my view on it.

Would smart black trousers, white shirt, bow tie and waistcoat any more comfortable for him?

But there aren't may ways to avoid z dress code like that, and if he turns up in his normal smart clothes, he us likely to stand out more than if he roughly follows the dress code.

Lots of velvet jackets around at the moment. Would he wear one of those with black trousers.

Or a cheap black suit from Primark with a funky coloured waistcoat.

All of the weddings I go to have a minimum of a black tie dress-code. Be grateful it's not white-tie or colour coded. Had to buy a red dress once for a red and black dress code.

My DH bought a very decent looking DJ and trousers suit from m and s for £80 recently. I know that's not dead cheap if you were hoping not to buy anything, but it's not £100s.

Maisypops Yes to all of that. I am envisaging a lot of standing around and being bossed about.

He's slim-medium.

Edwardian costumes. So it could have been worse.

This one would be nice as he could wear it with the black trousers he would have worn anyway. And its only £35 so if he didn't wear it again its not the end of the world - and it could go in the dressing up box...

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Mens-Green-Nehru-Jacket-Ideal-for-Wedding-Formal-Wear-Prom-Fancy-Dress-/122548336259?var=&hash=item1c88733683:m:mEQBuRGFZx1gEBhxEpE8pbw

Sounds quite normal to me? My dh would always wear a nice suit to a wedding, I just thought everyone did? They're not usually black tie admittedly but it's not that far off.

Go to a fancy dress hire shop, hire a Blues Brothers costume for £35. It is a suit.

Moss Bros are highly flammable and not great value for money really - we finally gave up and bought DH a proper one as he has been the same size for years. There must be better places to hire than Moss Bros.