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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dh is pathetic for throwing away ds present from grandad

291 replies

Lionking1981 · 05/07/2017 22:01

My family and dh support rival football clubs. The family team is our local one and the mascot has been into ds school, all his friends support the team and he has recently been saying that he supports them too which my dad found really funny. For his Bday this week, my dad cheekily gave him the strip and toy of the mascot. Today, he asked where they were - we couldn't find them anywhere. Dh has thrown them away. I get that he wants him and ds to bond over football and take him to games but I just find this a waste of money and horribly pathetic. Aibu?

OP posts:
ElizabethLemon · 05/07/2017 22:03

Yanbu, I'd be fuming and would expect a proper apology to your dad and ds from the husband.

ChildishGambino · 05/07/2017 22:04

Yeah this is crap

AdalindSchade · 05/07/2017 22:04

What a pathetic cunt

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers · 05/07/2017 22:04

Your dad bought your ds a present to wind up your dh. Your dh got wound up.

Six of one and half a dozen of the other imo.

milliemolliemou · 05/07/2017 22:04

Seriously pathetic and silly. And a bad example to DS.

BoneyBackJefferson · 05/07/2017 22:04

It is as pathetic as buying a football strip to wind up your husband.

Neither is covering themselves in glory.

honeysucklejasmine · 05/07/2017 22:05

Your DH is pathetic.

ijustwannadance · 05/07/2017 22:05

It is pathetic. How bloody childish. He needs to replace them.

ElizabethLemon · 05/07/2017 22:06

But ops dad bought his grandson a present he knew that he'd like, the husbands feelings should be irrelevant.

Moanyoldcow · 05/07/2017 22:06

People who take sports this seriously are morons.

WillRikersExtraNipple · 05/07/2017 22:07

It is as pathetic as buying a football strip to wind up your husband

Grandad bought it because the kid has said he supports it. Leave grandad alone, only the dad is a dick head on this one.

teaandtoast · 05/07/2017 22:07

He didn't buy it as a gift, he bought it as a 'stuff you' to your dh, imo. Does your Dad have form for this?

jaboker · 05/07/2017 22:11

Sounds like really mean cunt. Sorry OP

ilovelamp82 · 05/07/2017 22:15

Your Dad is in the wrong. People who love football envisage the life they are going to have with their kids supporting their team before they are even born. Your Dad knows this fill well and should never have put your dh in that position. In theory he shouldn't have thrown it away but your Dad was completely out of order.

BlahBlahBlahEtc · 05/07/2017 22:16

I feel so sorry for the child knowing his dad will just throw his things away if his father doesn't like it. Your dh is a tosser. Even if your dad bought it as a wind up your dh should have sucked it up for your childs sake.

Again, Tosser.

Oriunda · 05/07/2017 22:17

I could see my DH doing this. Realistically he knows that DS will 'support' other teams depending on which friends he's hanging out with. However - his home team means a lot to him (DS has a middle name of one of their most popular players) and he'd take a stunt like that as a personal insult.

stella23 · 05/07/2017 22:17

Your dad cheekily

Sounds like a wind up to me, clearly you dh is trying to bond with your son and your dad is being unfair

KinkyAfro · 05/07/2017 22:20

DH doesnt get to dictate what team DS follows. DS obviously liked the present and DH was a dick for throwing it away. Can't believe people are blaming Grandad, he did a nice thing for his GS, yeah it was a bit cheeky but DH had no right to act the way he did. Hasn't he got a sense of humour?

WhereYouLeftIt · 05/07/2017 22:22

"I get that he wants him and ds to bond over football"
Does he really? Very odd way to go about it.

When your son has expressed that he supports another team - I think your husband has to accept it.

BoneyBackJefferson · 05/07/2017 22:25

WillRikersExtraNipple

Grandad bought it because the kid has said he supports it. Leave grandad alone, only the dad is a dick head on this one.

The OP has already said that it was bought "cheekily". So no I won't leave granddad alone because he wasn't being entirely altruistic about the gift.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 05/07/2017 22:28

He has pretty much guaranteed that DS will support Grandad's team. And so will you I suppose. Have you bought yourself the team top yet?

We have tremendous fun in our family where each side of the family supports a different rival team (and different countries actually). Makes for lots of fun, bonding, wind ups and laughter. I hate the word but it creates banter.

ilovelamp82 · 05/07/2017 22:29

"Some people think football is a matter of life and death, I assure you it's much more important than that." Bill Shankly

I feel sorry for your dh really. If someone had bought my dc an opposing football kit and they went on to support them I'd be ge uinely gutted. I'm looking forward to the next 50 years of going to the games with my boys. Your Dad overstepped the mark and he knows it.

IStoleDipsysHat · 05/07/2017 22:31

It may have been a bit cheeky, but the child stated he supports that team. No amount of trying to bond over an opposing team will change that. His friends in school do too, so sorry OP's DH once they go to school friends preferences usually take preference over parents. You can bond over the game itself.
It was a shitty thing to do to throw them out though. What's your DH going to do if his child openly states he supports them, publicly disown him? Send him to his room?
I would have some understanding if your DS supported another team but he has already expressed his preference.

Your husband is a childish dick who should replace the strip and mascot out of his own money. That wasn't just a random gift, it was a birthday gift and all your child has learned is that he is only worthy of his fathers love if he conforms to his expectations and forgets his own opinions Angry
Angry Angry Angry
It's shit like this that really damages kids self esteem at a time when parents should be the ones who support them 100%, but no your Dh has to let his team pride steam roll all over that. You say your dad was cheeky, TBH he was just buying the child something from the team he supports. What's he supposed to do, never mention them, hurriedly shush your DS if he does?

Seems to me like your DH has already ruled that your son isn't allowed to support them and can only support his choice. Is he going to choose his friends, GCSE options, A-Levels, career, partner for him too? TOTAL PRICK!

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 05/07/2017 22:31

YANBU. Your dad was a bit unreasonable to deliberately wind your husband up. But the items belonged to your son and he liked them, so it was pathetic and nasty to throw them away. He should replace them.

I can't believe how seriously some people take football. I knew a couple who frequently had proper arguments caused by them supporting rival teams Hmm

SistersOfPercy · 05/07/2017 22:32

As a kid ds had many strips from many clubs, including the local team dh supported. He just liked football strips and had no allegiance.
He's been a season ticket holder for ten years or more now at our local club but still occasionally wears shirts from other teams in other divisions and countries.

The kid liked the strip, whether grandad was on a windup or not dh was unfair.