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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dh is pathetic for throwing away ds present from grandad

291 replies

Lionking1981 · 05/07/2017 22:01

My family and dh support rival football clubs. The family team is our local one and the mascot has been into ds school, all his friends support the team and he has recently been saying that he supports them too which my dad found really funny. For his Bday this week, my dad cheekily gave him the strip and toy of the mascot. Today, he asked where they were - we couldn't find them anywhere. Dh has thrown them away. I get that he wants him and ds to bond over football and take him to games but I just find this a waste of money and horribly pathetic. Aibu?

OP posts:
ilovelamp82 · 05/07/2017 22:53

I don't understand what is so surprising about the Grandad being in the wrong. Has the dh handled it incorrectly? Of course. Is the ds entitled to support whatever team he likes? Of course. Should a grandad buy a football strip for the grandson to wind up the dh? Absolutelyfuckingnot. He has overstepped his boundaries. Anyone from a football family knows this.

IStoleDipsysHat · 05/07/2017 22:53

feeman you seem to forget the child supports the team too, or is that irrelevant? Is the child not allowed to express his own likes and dislikes in case it injures his fathers precious pride?

Butteredparsnip1ps · 05/07/2017 22:54

Just because Bill Shankly said something,doesn't make that thing true.

DH threw away a child's present?

Yeah, that's great memories he's making

redshoeblueshoe · 05/07/2017 22:54

I also can't understand why people are blaming the GF. The DS says he supports the team that the GF got the kit and the mascot for.

The H's actions are telling the DC that his feelings/choices are irrelevant.

BoneyBackJefferson · 05/07/2017 22:56

ollieplimsoles
I can't believe some people actually think the granddad is in the wrong here

He is using the ds as a pawn in a game of revelries between himself and his SiL.

but Purplepicnic said it best
Pathetic behaviour from grown men. Putting a fucking game before family relationships and a child's feelings.

ohtheholidays · 05/07/2017 22:57

Your DH was out of order.

I wouldn't tell your Dad or your DS about what your DH has done but I would tell your DH to move his arse and replace the gifts he threw away.

BoneyBackJefferson · 05/07/2017 22:57

*rivalries not revelries

IStoleDipsysHat · 05/07/2017 22:58

stella23 1953 called, they want their opinions back. Tis was a present for a child, a birthday present not just nay present. That's the point. If the Dh had taken umbrage he should have taken it up with the grandfather not binned a childs birthday present FFS.

ilovelamp82 So what the child isn't allowed anything from the team he supports just because his dad supports someone else? Isn't he an adult? Is his ego not supposed to be developed enough to handle this?

IStoleDipsysHat · 05/07/2017 22:58

this, any

ollieplimsoles · 05/07/2017 23:00

'A football family' ...christ

Why doesn't the dh buy the strip from his team and carry on taking his ds to the matches.

IStoleDipsysHat · 05/07/2017 23:01

Obviously there are football families and there are families where childish pricks think their over inflated egos have a right to be kowtowed to just by their very existence.

Motherbear26 · 05/07/2017 23:01

The gift was hardly pathetic if the DS supports the team. DH was wrong to throw away something that didn't belong to him. He missed a huge bonding opportunity by throwing his little tantrum. There'd have been loads of bonding through all the banter that comes from supporting different teams. The only thing that should be important to DH is that DS is happy.

And to all those defending the DH, would you think he was justified in throwing away a gift given to his DW that he disapproved of? He is his son, not his mini-me. He can support whatever team he wants.

ilovelamp82 · 05/07/2017 23:01

I'm not advocating the dh's actions at all. He should just never have been put in that position in a million years. For people who football runs through their blood, is how they spend their weekends, some of their highest highs and lowest lows collectively, football just is that important to some people.

It just is. I understand how some people don't get that. But given how the dh has handled the situation today it obviously does mean that much to him..and while he hasn't chosen the best course of action, I don't think he can be called pathetic.

twattymctwatterson · 05/07/2017 23:02

OP this is genuinely terrible. If anything you need to get more angry. Your Dad bought your son those things because he expressed an interest in the team. Your DS liked them, they were a birthday present and your DH binned them?! That's a horrible shitty thing to do to your own child. Is he always so selfish?

stella23 · 05/07/2017 23:03

tella23 1953 called, they want their opinions back. Tis was a present for a child, a birthday present not just nay present. That's the point. If the Dh had taken umbrage he should have taken it up with the grandfather not binned a childs birthday present FFS.

Yes your right he should have taken it up with the grandad, but let's not forget that the grandad knew it would cause problems and disregarded the child's dad desire to bond with his son.

Neolara · 05/07/2017 23:04

As someone who has absolutely no interest in football whatsoever, I think people often behave very bizarrely about football. It's like the social rules of football can trump all other normal social rules.

redshoeblueshoe · 05/07/2017 23:08

Stella - the DC supports the team he was given the kit for.
The H is causing the problem.

IStoleDipsysHat · 05/07/2017 23:09

TBH stella I doubt the grandad dreamed the kids father would stoop this low. A few darkly muttered words. A bit of yeah, yeah and banter or even righteous fury and outrage directed at him. I don't think any mature, fully functioning adult could see this being taken out on the child.

ollieplimsoles · 05/07/2017 23:10

Falling out with family and throwing away your son's birthday gifts over football is absolutely pathetic.

And I say that as a child who went to many a match, so many times I would see grown men smashing each other's faces in outside the stadium, in front on children, families and the like...nothing more pathetic than that.

ineedaholidaynow · 05/07/2017 23:10

For those saying that it was wrong of the grandad because it was disregarding DH's feelings. What about DS's feelings? He likes the football team that his grandad supports. Will DH never accept this, will he just expect DS to follow his team whether he wants to or not?

ilovelamp82 · 05/07/2017 23:10

As someone who does have a great interest in football and the importance of it, I don't understand how some people can indoctrinate their children into different religions but that is nothing to with me and I understand that is up to the parents and no one else to decide. Same thing. Boundaries were crossed.

dinahmorris · 05/07/2017 23:12

I don't know any other circumstance where it would be considered funny to deliberately interfere with a parent developing a shared hobby with their child.

When kids are little they change their allegiances regularly, but grandad trying to sway the child to his side by buying these gifts is a massive 'fuck you' to the father.

GabsAlot · 05/07/2017 23:12

i dont care who supports who-your dh is pathetic and shold replace it

IStoleDipsysHat · 05/07/2017 23:13

I don't understand the religion thing either ilovelamp82. I belive all religions should be something adults chose for themselves. It's such a personal thing, belief, even those of the same religions don't 100% believe exactly the same things, no 2 people on this entire planet do.

IStoleDipsysHat · 05/07/2017 23:14

*believe