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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends expecting me to look after kids, 6 week holidays.

999 replies

famtastic · 03/07/2017 08:44

I have just found out from another friend, that a couple I'm friendly with who live round the corner told her that I am having their children for them in the summer holidays. It would be 3/4 days a week 6:30am till 10:30am. So in theory we would still have the day after 10:30 to do what we want.

But I have not actually been asked by them! Or had days times mentioned to me. Literally all that was said to me back in may was "we may need the odd favour in the holidays" and I just said oh ok! They didn't elaborate on the favour and I was in the playground taking my kids to school so a bit distracted and didn't ask.

I was looking forward to the summer holidays with my own 2 children ages 3 and 8, lazy mornings and doing what we want, now I feel sick! There is only 2 weeks left and they still haven't mentioned it to me! And surely they can't get anything else sorted now?! Also my husband works 10/11 hours a day and he leaves at 6:50am he won't want anyone round while he's getting ready for a long day at work! And lastly I don't even know their oldest I've met him once for maximum 1minute, their kids are different ages to my two so I can't see how it's going to work well.

Ahh I don't want to do this but I don't know what to do! Am I being unreasonable??

OP posts:
LeannePerrins · 03/07/2017 17:09

Famtastic is my new hero!

rollonthesummer · 03/07/2017 17:09

Do you think she will come round on her own?

justilou · 03/07/2017 17:11

I can honestly say that the more you try and explain yourself to this person, the more she will try and drill a way in to get what she wants. She thinks that the thought of her coming over this evening is making you quake in your boots and you will change your mind? What a bully!!! Like Pouncival has said, "I have already said No. Leave me alone!" will show her up as the bully she is!

DavetheCat2001 · 03/07/2017 17:11

This reply has been deleted

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notangelinajolie · 03/07/2017 17:11

Bloody cheek of the woman! I wouldn't get out of bed at 6.30am for one day never mind 6 weeks. As a SAHM, I've had people asking me to look after little ones for the odd day for a few hours which I did - but 6 weeks is taking the piss big time. And why can't the nearly 14 year old look after younger sibling?

rollonthesummer · 03/07/2017 17:11

I'd tell her that your husband was looking forward to meeting her later!!

Quimby · 03/07/2017 17:12

This is one of those threads where I genuinely can't believe the OP.
Not because I think they're lying or have any tangible reason to doubt them, but just because the situation is so bat shit.

The other woman seems genuinely unhinged. She's also a shit liar and went from this was all agreed months ago to "well we just assumed" in one text.

How in the world did that conversation with her husband go?

"Did you sort out childcare for the summer?"
"Well I made a non-commits like passing remark to that woman we kind of know so I assume we're good for the whole 6 weeks. No need to check or confirm."

You're doing the right thing in not replying further, but maybe send just a few more texts anyway for our entertainment

famtastic · 03/07/2017 17:12

Can you see any of my information on my profile? Just thinking if they see this will be a huge can of worms

OP posts:
LazyDailyMailJournos · 03/07/2017 17:12

Fuck me, she's got more bloody front than Blackpool!

I've never understood people who think that a good way of getting what they want is being nasty to you.

Why yes of COURSE I'll help you out! I really didn't want to when you first asked me to do that hugely inconvenient or impossible thing. But now you've called me a selfish cunt I really do see that I need to do you a massive favour!

Pouncival · 03/07/2017 17:12

No can't see anything - just your user name

ParadiseCity · 03/07/2017 17:13

FUCKOFFWRIGHTSHOWDAILYMAILETC I can't believe someone would be like this, I have met some chancers but this is beyond normal and then some!!

famtastic · 03/07/2017 17:14

Good will make me look unreasonable moaning online about them. Also I am tempted to sent them the link

OP posts:
drinkingtea · 03/07/2017 17:15

Well done famtastic

What is wrong with some people.

I used to know someone who trotted out the WORK in implied capitals endlessly - everyone should help her because she worked. She had a husband (who also worked, standard office hours) finally asked her what hours she did - turned out she WORKED fewer hours than I did - and she only had one kid where we have 3! She was so full of what a martyr she was and how the world owed her, and she couldn't possibly do any volunteer stuff at school because she WORKED ... But it turned out most of the mums she was leaning on who saw themselves as mainly sahms doing a bit of part time work actually did more hours than her plus volunteer stuff to do with school!

I'm still baffled though by why she thinks a nearly 14 year old and a 10 year old need childcare, rather than just a list of neighbors they could turn to in the unlikely event of an emergency. My 11 and 9 year old are happy and confident to be home alone for 3 hours after school once per week, with neighbors who they could go to in case of emergency. Neither "looks after" the other, they know full well they are each in charge of themself. The worst that has ever happened was they confessed they'd each eaten a spoonful of Nutella off the spoon WinkShock since then they've made themselves a (conventional) sandwich, got on with homework, watched TV, drawn and read until DH or I got home.

BewareOfDragons · 03/07/2017 17:15

PLEASE start a new thread if this is going to drag on ... and post the link. I suspect your entitled, unhinged 'friend' isn't going to go down quietly.

Belle1616 · 03/07/2017 17:16

She sounds awful, and entitled, I'd tell her to p* off.

Shoxfordian · 03/07/2017 17:16

Wow. That "friend" of yours is from a different planet. Good work so far OP

Aeroflotgirl · 03/07/2017 17:16

She is absolutely shit crazy, you should point out that tgey are her kids and her responsibility. She is awful.

RortyCrankle · 03/07/2017 17:17

Forgot to say - if/when she appears - she should not be invited into your home - I'm sure your DH can say what he needs to get the message across on the doorstep. Then block her on phone, FB etc.

Good luck OP.

GreenTulips · 03/07/2017 17:17

I'm so glad you feel empowered! Hold on to that feeling so you can do it again as necessary

Have you spoken to the other friend?

Elchupacabra · 03/07/2017 17:17

BewareOfDragons I was just about to post the same! I'm getting very twitchy looking at the number of posts and the thought that I might miss something!

Writerwannabe83 · 03/07/2017 17:17

She's crazy!!!!

I fear I may by slightly neglectful of my son this evening and instead be constantly checking for updates on this thread Grin

GreenTulips · 03/07/2017 17:18

Also I was previously a SAHM and yes these people exist!

One said to me one day - as I live close to school would you mind me dropping X off at 7:30 and you can walk them to school? Err no

StoorieHoose · 03/07/2017 17:18

I do believe the OP. There has been similar threads over the years around this time of exactly the same brass necked people expecting other people to step in and be their childcare just because of being a Sahm

Deemail · 03/07/2017 17:18

This escalated quickly!
The woman sounds unhinged. Does she really think she can come around and intimidate/guilt you into minding her kids. What's she like as a parent? It seems crazy that any parent would force their children to stay in an environment where they're not wanted.

2rebecca · 03/07/2017 17:18

You won't be moaned at for 2 weeks as you will refuse to talk to her as she is a nasty abusive person who is no longer your friend.
Get quietly and calmly angry back.
She sounds bizarrely OTT and not like any people I know.

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